Quote:
Originally Posted by sware2cod
If it's your boss, it's tough to shrug it off and move on with your life if you were denied a promotion or denied a salary increase because you refused to submit to the sexual advances of the boss. Or if you were fired or denied a project because if it. It's not always as easy as resigning and getting another job.
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I say these things to the exclusion of forcible rape. I think rape is a heinous, hateful, brutal ugly crime that should never go unpunished.
So, you are saying one should choose to submit to unwanted sexual advances, rather than take a stand and refuse them? Some could rationalize that any person who accepts money or services for sex is a prostitute. Look at how many actors/actresses who are jumping on the #MeToo bandwagon claiming sexual assault are now multi-millionaires and world famous. What category might they fit into if they acquiesced, got the roll in the movie and were payed?
Why have these "victims" waited until now to make accusations against their alleged abusers? Why should anyone take them seriously for waiting years and/or decades to come out and then expect justice. All this does is eyes of many, is cast doubt and disbelief onto them without any evidence, they merely have their own stale words, yet, many lives are being destroyed by them by merely speaking them. It is akin to a Salem witch hunt when only words can wreak so much damage.
I have known women who have been through that, my mother was one of them, she stood her ground and refused the unwanted advance and warned the jerk in no uncertain terms what the next occurrence would bring, it never happened again. My aunt, just recently dealt with a situation as you describe, she confronted her boss and told him it was unacceptable. He ceased with his behavior and the relationship between them has actually improved.
Bullies will bully until they are no longer allowed to. Make a stand against a bully and more often than not, they back down. If they do not back down, be smarter than them and make them see the error of their ways. Or, continue to parrot the words of and behave the victim, it is easier to go with the flow after all, than it is to resist and not allow oneself be the victim, that is a choice we all have to make.
Life is tough, making the right decision is tough. We all go through life experiencing situations that we disagree with and some of us choose to try to make those situations work out to our advantage, while others allow themselves to be taken advantage of, or if the situation warrants it, we remove ourselves from it.
Does it makes any sense to go to a hotel room for a meeting only to be greeted at the door by someone wearing a bathrobe, then enter the room expecting to have a sincere respectful meeting? No. Anyone with the least bit decorum would not enter the room, nor would one attempt to conduct such a meeting with professionalism in mind while wearing a robe.
Oh my gawd, he just told me I look nice today! I was sexually harassed!
OMG, he said I smell good! I was sexually harassed!
OMG, he said "this" and "that"! I was sexually harassed! Now, I am going to ruin his life!
This "I lack common sense, therefor I am a victim
" hypersensitive attitude, needs to stop.
If someone says something you do not appreciate, tell them not to ever speak to you like that again. If the behavior persists, take appropriate action.
If someone touches you in a sexual way you do not appreciate, tell them not to ever do it again after you slap their face. If the behavior persists, take appropriate action.
If you feel threatened or intimidated by a person you suspect may force their way on you, do not allow yourself to be in a compromised/vulnerable position with them. If the behavior persists, take appropriate action.
It is so frustrating that the trend has become one of accusation, ruin and playing the victim, rather than awareness, assertiveness/self-reliance and responsibility for ones own actions or lack thereof.
If one is a victim, take action immediately and report it to the authority best suited to handle it correctly.