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But then why would someone who can barely support themselves have unprotected sex with strangers, knowing the risks for pregnancy?
Because humans are fallible. Because many people have high sex drives and are controlled by their desires in the heat of the moment. That's why we have such a problem with obesity and addiction. Because some women, especially young ones, have self esteem issues and feel pressure to have sex to get or keep a man or to feel adequate. Because some people actually have sex with their SO and believe their birth control will actually prevent pregnancy.
Contrary to what all of you believe, not all women enjoy being pregnant or view it as some wonderful experience. It was horrible for me and a lot of women I know and I am vocal about the fact that pregnancy is awful to endure for some of us and it is a reason why I am pro-choice and why I don't think anyone other than the woman, her SO and her medical team should have any say in her medical choices.
When my sister was pregnant, her THEN husband was not very supportive. However, he had no problems saying, "Well, you should keep 'it'" if you want to. My sister decided to keep the baby and even when she was in labor, the "husband" was never there.
Like I said earlier, as a woman, I would not touch the subject of pregnancy or abortion with a ten foot pole. Nothing good in my opinion will come out of the debate. (what is the purpose of debate anyway) But if I MUST give an opinion (as if the opinion really matters), I'd say the decision should be made by the woman and the medical team alone.
A little off topic, women really should be careful with the men they decided to make a baby with. I am glad my ex brother-in-law is out of the picture, I am also glad that I had a beautiful baby nephew. But I will never blame the women for terminating the pregnancy. It is aweful to go though that (pregnancy and child birth) alone.
Doctors also have found the baby gives the mother life saving substance that stays in her body for her whole life.
Doctors have also found that a woman's brain shrinks by 3% as a result of pregnancy and childbirth of each child ("mommy brain" is a real thing). I felt depressed after giving birth mostly because I didn't "feel" myself mentally - I didn't think I was as mentally sharp as I was prior to getting pregnant and didn't feel "right" until my kids were 3-4 years old.
My old boss was on bedrest for the last several months of her pregnancy before her son was born prematurely. Her blood pressure was all over the place during that time. I know at least three other women who have been open about going on bedrest in the last 2 or 3 months of their pregnancies. It was more for their health than the fetus.
Several friends and coworkers have experienced hyperemisis. One coworker tried to stick it out at work (we'd take turns blocking the bathroom so she could puke in peace) but ended up being hospitalized twice and had to go out on leave. She lost her job when she had to be out for more than the 3 months of FMLA.
My current boss had a perfectly healthy pregnancy, but a traumatic birth. It was touch-and-go for both of them for awhile. Her daughter has severe CP and will never be able to lead a functional life. My has severe PTSD as a result of the birth, as well as their frequent (as in monthly) trips to the ER to handle her medical care.
My coworker has gestational diabetes right now carrying her second child. She is on an incredibly strict diet, has weekly appointments (luckily work is understanding - not all employers would be), and on medication to try to control the illness, but nothing is working. Both she and the baby have an elevated risk of developing diabetes.
My SIL was in labor for 4 days, developed pre-eclampsia, and had to have an emergency c-section. She couldn't walk or take care of her child for a month after birth because of complications from the surgery.
A college friend committed suicide after developing post-partum depression. Thank G-d she didn't harm the baby.
And these were all healthy women, and only in my immediate circle. As I've posted, pregnancy could have killed me or at the very least - according to my medical team (including my oncologist, cardiologist, and pulmonologist) would cause severe strain on my already stressed organs.
So yes, parasite does in fact seem to be the perfect definition of pregnancy for many women. And you don't know if you're going to be *that* woman. Only individual women can make the choice if they are willing to take on the health risk of pregnancy. All of the women above made the choice to have planned pregnancies where they were prepared for the physical, emotional, and financial (as much as one can) demands of pregnancy. That didn't protect all of them from the worst.
On the bold, my mother had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant with my youngest sibling. She had lost her job when she was about 5 months pregnant, also due to hyperemesis and so didn't have health insurance as back then my step father's job would not let her get on his insurance due to loss of her own job. She had to wait until their open enrollment, which luckily came when she was in the last month of her pregnancy. However, her pregnancy was considered a "pre-existing condition" back then and she was denied medical coverage for the pregnancy. She had to file for bankruptcy after his birth because she ended up having a lot of complications as a result of no prenatal care due to no insurance and he (my youngest sibling) was born via emergency cesarean section. He weighed over 12lbs at birth and was in the NICU for 8 days.
Fast forward to about 30 years later, my mom was recently diagnosed with diabetes, her doctor feels it is related to her gestational diabetes years ago with my brother. Sadly my brother also was recently diagnosed with diabetes and it is difficult for him to reconcile.
I really don't understand how so many of these anti-choice people are gung ho about forcing women to give birth and who ignore the fact that pregnancy is a serious medical condition.
It especially bothers me that people b**ch and moan about Medicaid, which has increased so much due to cases like my mom's where pregnant women are covered now today if they have no insurance, practically automatically. You all proclaim to want women to be responsible but then get mad when they make a responsible decision to terminate a pregnancy if they so choose. The whole adoption thing is crazy to me too. I'm not against adoption and think it's a great choice for a woman who wants to give birth and give a gift to an individual/couple who really want a child, but I know I personally wouldn't want to go through pregnancy itself just to give away a child. It is a horrible experience and it does affect a woman for the rest of her life.
Did you ask their kids if they would rather have been killed in utero?
I would guess the answer would be no.
I suspect plenty would say "I guess I would not be here and therefore would not know or care either way."
That is the logical response. If you were never born, you would not know it.
And, no... a fetus in the first trimester does not have the sort of brain that would know it was being aborted, so don't come at me with that nonsense.
You do not get real brain development until the end of the second trimester (24 weeks and beyond) and the third trimester is when the brain really develops 24 weeks until birth... that's when the brain as we know it develops.
So, tell me again how an 8 week fetus with noting but a neural tube has any sort of measurable consciousness and would therefore know it was missing anything? I'd daresay most full-term babies don't quite have much of a consciousness just yet. Brain keeps developing through about 2 years of age.
Asking a kid if they would be upset if they were never born will give you some interesting responses. You WILL get some who say if they were never born, they'd never know it. Kids aren't really biased like adults can be.
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The important issue is that Sharon Osborne had the right to choose.
Precisely. And, it's easy for her to say now that she wishes she'd had a baby at 17 years old, but since she never had a baby at 17 years old, she has no idea. She might have had one and wished she didn't.
But, ultimately, the procedure was legal and available.
It seems she was coerced by her mother to have it, so that likely colors her view. If she'd come to the conclusion entirely on her own, her memories of having it done might be very different.
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You mean the termination of someone else's pregnancy whom I do not know and did not know was even pregnant? No I don't think its yours, mine or anyone else's business.
No, I mean the "killing of an unborn baby". It's the baby's business. He/she didn't ask to be conceived.
Sadly, he/she doesn't get to choose.
But then why would someone who can barely support themselves have unprotected sex with strangers, knowing the risks for pregnancy?
Very weird comment. Most women who become pregnant and have abortions don't go out and have sex with strangers lol.
I know married women, in their 40s who have had abortions.
I'm nearly 40 and married and honestly would consider it myself if I became pregnant because it would be a huge strain on my life and a health risk for me at my age and with the history I have during pregnancy. I'd also be afraid I wouldn't be able to work anymore (which would be true considering my hyperemesis history and pre-eclampsia history).
Lots of women today in the late 30 and 40s are having abortions.
But then why would someone who can barely support themselves have unprotected sex with strangers, knowing the risks for pregnancy?
This is a good question and because we are living in an overly pc world, you will never get an answer for this. The most you will get is "Their business, their body" all the blah blah.
I did consider all of the fetuses/zygotes, etc., to be parasites.
People would get mad at me for saying as such, but for me pregnancy really was like having a parasite sucking the life out of me and I hated it.
As charloastro mentioned, I had hyperemesis. I lost a job as well when I was pregnant with my oldest as I threw up, at a minimum 5 times per day and it was a new job and I found out I was pregnant within a month of starting and so I was not protected by FMLA and lost the job, which put us in a financial stress at the time. I had to not work at all during that pregnancy due to being so ill.
For our second, I had worse hyperemesis and since I'd experienced it the first time, we planned for me not to work at all and be a SAHM for a couple years, which I did. However, I also developed pre-eclampsia with that pregnancy, which is still a leading cause of death for pregnant women/new moms (especially black women). Pre-eclampsia for many women has lingering effects for the rest of her life, which means it can enduce seizures and BP issues, amongst others. Luckily I have never had any lasting effects from it but I did have to go on bed-rest for the last month of my pregnancy. I also developed a condition called pubic synopsis disorder associated with my pregnancy, whereas my hip bones literally felt like they were broken. I could not walk long distances starting at 14 weeks gestation (long distances means I couldn't even walk through a grocery store without pain - I had to ride on those motorized scooters and was very embarrassed to do so at the time as I was only in my late 20s). I also could not sit on any hard surface (like a regular wooden chair). It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced, worse than labor pains. After the birth of my daughter, I still had the pain for a month and I threw up from the hyperemesis for an additional 3 days after her birth. My blood pressure also increased as a result of the pre-eclampsia and I had to go on meds.
For the third, I had a miscarriage. I had had an IUD inserted after my second child but got pregnant with it inserted. I had the doctor remove it and I was very thankful to miscarry as a result. However, my HCG levels didn't dissipate fast enough and the doctor thought there may be "something" left or that I had a molar pregnancy/tumor so I had to go every week to get blood draws to ensure my HCG levels were falling for 4 weeks. After 4 weeks, if they hadn't fallen enough, my gyn was going to send me for a D&C to ensure that everything was cleaned out. Luckily it fell under 20 HCG prior to 4 weeks but it was a PITA to go to the gyn every week for 5 weeks (counting the 1st appointment).
Being pregnant IMO is much more dangerous than having an abortion. More women die as a complication from pregnancy than from abortion and there are many more lingering side effects for women giving birth than an abortion.
Contrary to what all of you believe, not all women enjoy being pregnant or view it as some wonderful experience. It was horrible for me and a lot of women I know and I am vocal about the fact that pregnancy is awful to endure for some of us and it is a reason why I am pro-choice and why I don't think anyone other than the woman, her SO and her medical team should have any say in her medical choices.
Well make sure you remind your child/children as often as possible that you wish you'd aborted them and that having them is just one huge mistake. I'm sure that's going to make them feel awesome! They're sure to appreciate your candor and honesty!
I'm sorry you have rough pregnancies. One of my sisters has four children and her typical pregnancy makes yours sound like a walk in the park. Her hips would dislocate causing constant excruciating pain starting at month 6 or so. The experience of going into labor would actually decrease the pain. For all four pregnancies, she threw up so often that she had to be rehydrated and fed by a tube at least once per pregnancy. The last one was an accident that slipped by birth control and in that particular case, on top of everything else, she was in labor for about 1 month. Total number of times she even considered abortion = zero. Nobody is crazy enough to suggest that pregnancy is this wonderful happy land filled with rainbows, gumdrops and candy canes. Generally, it's messy and downright unpleasant to put it mildly. But it's how new human beings are made. We haven't come up with another way of doing it yet. Abortion has its place but its frivolous overuse cheapens our value of all human life.
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