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You can't stop bullies. The only thing you can do is teach your children how to respond to bullies.
you can if you start educating the parents, by calling them out.
I've seen women & men bullies right here on this forum...who have kids....start calling them out....let them know how wrong they are, teachers and the schools should call them out and question what kind of people they are? I'm not saying all kids learn to bully at home, but what I am saying, it is a learned behavior, and if you are aware of it, and read a lot you to will see it.
People are openly awful to each other, sarcastic, down right mean, and some go as far as following you around, just to heckle you....that is a bully. And you think their kids aren't going to pick up on that.
This is not a political thread bout Trump, Obama or any president, and yet, look at how many people have come into this thread, blaming the Presidents? Are you kidding me? you are that obsessed with hate, that your going to come into a thread and with a continuation of hate blaming a president that you didn't vote for. And if your doing this, then your doing it at home to, in front of the kids. Kids listen, watch...and learn from their parents....I've even seen my grand-daughter shake her head like her mother. My son, clears his throat and makes noises just like his father. These are all learned behaviors....
So if parents are Trashing a president at home in front of their kids, swearing and calling them names, is it any wonder. If people are trashing each other on line, then they are doing the same things at home in front of their kids, and the kids don't know any better, they are parroting their parents, they are being given and ok to treat other people like this.
My ex-sister in law is a teacher....you should hear her stories, and these are little kids...of how they laugh and mock others...she said, you know right away what the parents are going to be like....if she speaks to them about it, it's OH, NO, not my little angel. HAH
If a teacher ever told my mother, that I was hurting another child, with my words or worse, physically, boy would I have gotten it at home!!! That was forbidden in my time. Parents didn't talk about neighbors, presidents, etc., in front of us...
This is why this poor little girl killed herself....and it's happening right now to my cousin's grand kid....he has autism, and he comes home from school every single day crying, doesn't want to go back. Why did I have to be born like this? Why do the kids treat me like this. I want it to stop...sobbing and sobbing....I want to die. I don't want to live like this. Parents ought to be ashamed of themselves....truly...when I see how ugly people are just in this forum, my God, aren't you ashamed to speak to other people like that? Your a parent????? For God's sake wake up and realize, your creating a monster....b/c your a monster. And I don't mean you, I'm stating this in general terms.
That is where a lot of this starts....with the parents.
Now, this doesn't always hold true, however, generally, you can tell what the parents are like if the kid has manners, and doesn't act out, sits quietly...says please and thank you....
My ex-sister in law is a teacher....you should hear her stories, and these are little kids...of how they laugh and mock others...she said, you know right away what the parents are going to be like....if she speaks to them about it, it's OH, NO, not my little angel. HAH
That is where a lot of this starts....with the parents.
I believe it. My older son has special needs, and has been a target of a couple of a neighborhood bully for a while now. One day he recorded an incident on his phone, and when we spoke to the parents and played them the recording, they still tried to deny wrongdoing, insisting that our son had to have provoked theirs.
In another incident, our daughter was labeled as a bully by another parent, because our daughters called out their kid for bullying.
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Now, this doesn't always hold true, however, generally, you can tell what the parents are like if the kid has manners, and doesn't act out, sits quietly...says please and thank you....
The thing is... even good kids who are raised well can be the aggressor, whether it’s teasing that gets out of hand, or joining in with bullying because they’re relieved to not be the target for once. Even good parents can be in denial because of the stigma attached: they are labeled as bad parents or bullies themselves, even if it’s an isolated incident on the part of an ordinarily good kid. I had that happen with my youngest when he was 5: he’s typically a mild-mannered kid who gets along with everyone, but he got into a scuffle with another boy his age. The other mother, instead of addressing it with me (I didn’t even know what happened), knocked on every door on our street, telling the other parents not to let their kids play with mine because my son was a “bullyâ€.
Tl,dr: the problem is two sides of the same coin. You’ve got one side treating isolated incidents as systemic bullying, and the other side treating systematic bullying as incidental teasing. Neither way is healthy or rational, or puts a stop to bullying.
I believe it. My older son has special needs, and has been a target of a couple of a neighborhood bully for a while now. One day he recorded an incident on his phone, and when we spoke to the parents and played them the recording, they still tried to deny wrongdoing, insisting that our son had to have provoked theirs.
In another incident, our daughter was labeled as a bully by another parent, because our daughters called out their kid for bullying.
The thing is... even good kids who are raised well can be the aggressor, whether it’s teasing that gets out of hand, or joining in with bullying because they’re relieved to not be the target for once. Even good parents can be in denial because of the stigma attached: they are labeled as bad parents or bullies themselves, even if it’s an isolated incident on the part of an ordinarily good kid. I had that happen with my youngest when he was 5: he’s typically a mild-mannered kid who gets along with everyone, but he got into a scuffle with another boy his age. The other mother, instead of addressing it with me (I didn’t even know what happened), knocked on every door on our street, telling the other parents not to let their kids play with mine because my son was a “bullyâ€.
Tl,dr: the problem is two sides of the same coin. You’ve got one side treating isolated incidents as systemic bullying, and the other side treating systematic bullying as incidental teasing. Neither way is healthy or rational, or puts a stop to bullying.
Hi, oh yes, I believe good kids who are raised well, can become a bully, however, for the most part....even if a kid is abused, they become the abuser, in school...out of anger...
I remember my boss asking me, "Creme, how can 4 kids come from the same family and one, is so bad?" I don't know the answer to that, so yes, your example is a good one, and I'm sorry this happened....but, know this also, if someone came to my door, and said that about another neighbors, child, I'd tell them straight out, "Well, thank you for coming over, but I think I'll wait and see for myself."
and about teasing, I've learned from forums, we all don't think alike, so where do you draw a line, who decides when teasing goes too far? Some would say, no, others would say yes, and yet, others would say, it's extreme teasing?
But, yes, I do understand and agree with what your saying...
and liberals don't take offense and talk nasty to others? They don't take things personal and go on the defense with their words? Are you kidding? We all do that, with or without Trump...I am still learning how to control my anger and frustrations, way before Trump was elected.
What about the public displays going on...
and Obama encouraged PC...which was also the same...
Gosh, I can remember when someone called me a racist for sharing a funny story about our Jewish friends mother whom we loved dearly...
yanno, I say this over and over again, I voted for Obama in his first term, but after 4 years I had had it with him...didn't care for him any longer, after I watched his golf outings, his vacations and using Air Force One for his private Vacations in Hawaii, on us...plus tripling our debt.
I was angry with him...and I watched how republicans tried to have him impeached all those 8 years, same as the libs are doing now....
but some dems are grasping at straws, just looking for reasons to hate him...and that is wrong...
I don't like some of the things that Trump does...I didn't like Obama, and Bush, wouldn't give you a plug nickle for, but all of them did some good, no one is all bad as you or the media would portray him.
And Regan, My God, when he died, they sent him out with a 31 gun salute, and yet, he authorized the Iranian Contra??????????
Kennedy ran around on Jackie, but everyone loved him when he was murdered!
what is going on here is crazy, absolutely crazy, and acting like this in front of our children....when they ask college kids, what don't you like about Trump, they feel they'd be disloyal to their parents by not hating Trump, b/c their parents have been so all fired vocal about Trump or any other leader for that matter.
Lots and lots of people chose their political affiliation simply b/c that is what they're parents were...they don't know a darn thing about politics....nothing. They are head line readers and the media loves head line readers....
Last edited by cremebrulee; 06-21-2018 at 07:46 AM..
and liberals don't take offense and talk nasty to others? They don't take things personal and go on the defense with their words? Are you kidding? We all do that, with or without Trump...I am still learning how to control my anger and frustrations, way before Trump was elected.
What about the public displays going on...
and Obama encouraged PC...which was also the same...
Gosh, I can remember when someone called me a racist for sharing a funny story about our Jewish friends mother whom we loved dearly...
yanno, I say this over and over again, I voted for Obama in his first term, but after 4 years I had had it with him...didn't care for him any longer, after I watched his golf outings, his vacations and using Air Force One for his private Vacations in Hawaii, on us...plus tripling our debt.
I was angry with him...and I watched how republicans tried to have him impeached all those 8 years, same as the libs are doing now....
but some dems are grasping at straws, just looking for reasons to hate him...and that is wrong...
I don't like some of the things that Trump does...I didn't like Obama, and Bush, wouldn't give you a plug nickle for, but all of them did some good, no one is all bad as you or the media would portray him.
And Regan, My God, when he died, they sent him out with a 31 gun salute, and yet, he authorized the Iranian Contra??????????
Kennedy ran around on Jackie, but everyone loved him when he was murdered!
School yard bullying has nothing to do with political ideology.
The girl was being bullied by 12 year old Mean Girls who, for whatever reason or no reason, decided to target her to feel superior.
Reportedly, they would kick her chair in class and would not allow her to eat lunch with them. They texted nasty words to her. They posted nasty words and encouraged her to kill herself on Instagram and Snap Chat.
Based on information disclosed her parents chose to take it up with the school instead of the parents of the Mean Girls. Not clear the parents of the Mean Girls were aware their children were tormenting a peer.
Texting and using social media to encourage a peer to kill themselves crosses a huge line.
Imagine if it was your kid who engaged in such cruelty.
middle-aged mom School yard bullying has nothing to do with political ideology.
Your right, but, school yard bullying is a learned trait...where did they learn it from.
Your talking on the phone to your friend, your saying, boy oh boy, I really hate that woman, she is disgusting, hate the way she looks, hate her hair, hate those boots.
Your kids are listening, not only are they listening, but they want your attention...so they're going to start agreeing with you, your their parent...your actually a God to them...kids don't know that parents can make mistakes, so they start to parrot you and play out that same part in school....or there is a kid whose being beaten by his parents...being put down, smacked around, being told he's/or she is no good...the kid goes to school and does the same exact thing to another kid, especially to kids who are different.
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The girl was being bullied by 12 year old Mean Girls who, for whatever reason or no reason, decided to target her to feel superior.
yeah and how did they get mean? I knew those mean girls in school to...but stayed away from them...how did they get so mean?
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Reportedly, they would kick her chair in class and would not allow her to eat lunch with them. They texted nasty words to her. They posted nasty words and encouraged her to kill herself on Instagram and Snap Chat.
Yup, now how do you think a kid, with the mentality of a 12 year old can take that kind of embarrassment, that kind of rejection, and abuse? some can, some can't...she couldn't...it's tough, your banned from their little world they call society. your slapped across the face verbally every chance they get, all those kids know is they want it to stop, screaming, make it stop, to themselves. I know cuz I've been there....you want to die...you see no light at the end of the tunnel and if you tell your parents, you make it worse. You have no idea, the inner turmoil...
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Based on information disclosed her parents chose to take it up with the school instead of the parents of the Mean Girls. Not clear the parents of the Mean Girls were aware their children were tormenting a peer.
If they would have taken it up with the mean girls, guess what would have happened? The teachers at school, and not even the parents can keep an eye on that kid 24/7....they will get her.
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Texting and using social media to encourage a peer to kill themselves crosses a huge line.
yes, it absolutely does, so whats the answer.
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Imagine if it was your kid who engaged in such cruelty.
My kid was getting threatened and punched and having his lunch money stolen. I went to the teachers, went to the principle, my kid wasn't the first....they had already tried talking to the parents, yanno what they got? F-YOU! These are not children of normal parents...the kid that was picking on my kid, had flunked 3 times....he made a business out of robbing the other kids of their lunch money.
Back then I was lucky, I took a pillow, and held it up to me and taught him how to fight for weeks....one day the kid tried to take his money and my son, did what I told him, hauled off and cold cocked the kid right in the nose. The kid immediately hit the ground. And never picked on my son again.
you can't do that today....you get sued...so what's the answer...educate kids, to not have kids young, to not get pregnant at 15, and teach them to be responsible parents.
It took us generations to get to where we are, there are no quick fixes other than education and teaching respect and morals. And hope and pray you did your best as a parent.
I wonder how many parents today, sit down and discuss with their kids what to look for in a girl to date...I think kids today are missing having a parent with them and are angry and don't know why?
My son talks to so many kids in his line of work, he's a cop, and so so many of them are from slit homes...no father around...and the mother has 3 or 4 kids and started when she was 15. All she knows is how to beat up someone else to get to where she's going...it's tough life out there for these kids...
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