Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have had female superiors play knees with me more than once
And then attend a a mandatory lecture on sexual harassment
I have always joked about the appeal of "working under a woman."
In all truth I have had a few female supervisors (compared to my male supervisors) but I have always recognized the management judgement and wisdom in promoting the women who I worked for. They were always reasonable IMO.
Never once have I ever had a woman supervisor who wasn't totally professional in her prosecution of her management agenda, and my female supervisors have always matched the expertise of my male supervisors.
I'm just sorry, but I don't see any gender prejudice in my workplace. (This was before I moved from engineering to real estate about 10 years ago.) My current closest colleague is a woman who is my Realtor. She's the bestest because of nothing gender related. Some women simply out-perform men [probably many of them] and she is one of them.)
I have my "team ****" (**** = my first name) and all but a very few of my team are women. I'm a modern man in the professional workplace, and I base my team performance upon results, not upon gender. I'm sorry to say of my fellow men that my woman business contacts are out-performing you.
I have only two men on my team, my pool guy and my handyman.'
EtA:
I just want to add, often men have a problem working with one another. Call it ego or call it testosterone poisoning.
The women I favor have no such problems, and I truly appreciate how they can discuss business without the interference of hormones. Of course in MY workplace there are no sexual advances. I trust my business instincts that bringing sex into this equation would wreck it.
Originally Posted by Mr. Joshua One person's sexual harassment is another's innocent flirting.
if she accepts it and like yoou, its flirting If she dont like you its sexual harassment and your fired
The trick is to pay attention to the acceptance part. If your flirting is unwanted and she/he doesn't like you then STOP. Flirting becomes sexual harassment when one fails cease "flirting". Failure to either recognize the difference between like and don't like or not acknowledging it is why one gets in trouble and fired
The trick is to pay attention to the acceptance part. If your flirting is unwanted and she/he doesn't like you then STOP. Flirting becomes sexual harassment when one fails cease "flirting". Failure to either recognize the difference between like and don't like or not acknowledging it is why one gets in trouble and fired
Yeah. I was once the operator for a retail store when I was young. I was friendly with some of the warehouse guys. One started flirting and just wouldn't stop. He was married so that alone was a dealbreaker. He left me a stuffed animal on Valentine's Day...I gave it to a coworker who was having a baby. He called me up and asked me to be his girlfriend. Other stuff. Finally a manager found out about it (I should have said something earlier, but hey, I was young, it was the 90s, etc.) and got it to stop.
Married aside, if he had been single, someone might claim he was just trying to flirt the whole time, but it was weird and creepy and uncomfortable for me when I was not interested in him and had said no to girlfriend, etc.
This is exactly the problem. A subset of people think if you can't hit on someone while at work you can't progress a relationship.
I met my husband in a professional setting. Like many coworkers, a group of us went out occasionally after work. It was at that point he then tried to pursue a relationship. You know OUTSIDE OF WORK.
So you're saying that if I want to date a girl at work, I simply have to get her out of the office with a bunch of other coworkers and then I can make my move?
Yeah. I was once the operator for a retail store when I was young. I was friendly with some of the warehouse guys. One started flirting and just wouldn't stop. He was married so that alone was a dealbreaker. He left me a stuffed animal on Valentine's Day...I gave it to a coworker who was having a baby. He called me up and asked me to be his girlfriend. Other stuff. Finally a manager found out about it (I should have said something earlier, but hey, I was young, it was the 90s, etc.) and got it to stop.
Married aside, if he had been single, someone might claim he was just trying to flirt the whole time, but it was weird and creepy and uncomfortable for me when I was not interested in him and had said no to girlfriend, etc.
I had a similar experience. This guy actually told me about the job, we had classes together at the university and were in the same field of study so I knew him as a classmate. He asked me out after I started working there knowing I had a boyfriend. I politely told him I wasn't interested. He continued his attention in small ways, then began leaving notes and flowers on my car and coming into my office. I finally had to be not so polite. I never said anything to the boss but it was obvious and everyone knew what was going on. The sad thing is some of the other guys were encouraging this guy because they thought it was funny. The guy just would not stop even after the boss said something to him about it. He was eventually fired although I don't think that was the only reason.
Yeah. I was once the operator for a retail store when I was young. I was friendly with some of the warehouse guys. One started flirting and just wouldn't stop. He was married so that alone was a dealbreaker. He left me a stuffed animal on Valentine's Day...I gave it to a coworker who was having a baby. He called me up and asked me to be his girlfriend. Other stuff. Finally a manager found out about it (I should have said something earlier, but hey, I was young, it was the 90s, etc.) and got it to stop.
Married aside, if he had been single, someone might claim he was just trying to flirt the whole time, but it was weird and creepy and uncomfortable for me when I was not interested in him and had said no to girlfriend, etc.
I had a similar experience, except I directly asked him to stop, and then spoke to management about when he still persisted. That finally got him to stop with the sexual advances... but then he moved on to covert retaliation. I got no support from coworkers, who thought I should have just ignored him and kept my mouth shut. I finally realize it just wasn't worth the fight, so I quit. But I was 18; there is no ****ing way I'd back down now.
I have always joked about the appeal of "working under a woman."
In all truth I have had a few female supervisors (compared to my male supervisors) but I have always recognized the management judgement and wisdom in promoting the women who I worked for. They were always reasonable IMO.
Never once have I ever had a woman supervisor who wasn't totally professional in her prosecution of her management agenda, and my female supervisors have always matched the expertise of my male supervisors.
I'm just sorry, but I don't see any gender prejudice in my workplace. (This was before I moved from engineering to real estate about 10 years ago.) My current closest colleague is a woman who is my Realtor. She's the bestest because of nothing gender related. Some women simply out-perform men [probably many of them] and she is one of them.)
I have my "team ****" (**** = my first name) and all but a very few of my team are women. I'm a modern man in the professional workplace, and I base my team performance upon results, not upon gender. I'm sorry to say of my fellow men that my woman business contacts are out-performing you.
I have only two men on my team, my pool guy and my handyman.'
EtA:
I just want to add, often men have a problem working with one another. Call it ego or call it testosterone poisoning.
The women I favor have no such problems, and I truly appreciate how they can discuss business without the interference of hormones. Of course in MY workplace there are no sexual advances. I trust my business instincts that bringing sex into this equation would wreck it.
So... while there are plenty of women in management positions who are rational and have a good head on their shoulders, my experience is not as stellar.
Woman boss, newly hired, married with teenage kids. Starts making moves towards subordinate male, also married no kids. Relationship turns sexual. Wife finds out, calls office manager who doesn't do anything. Wife tries to break them up, no success. Wife continues to pester office manager. Finally after nearly a year management fires woman boss. In fact she's escorted out of the building with security in tow. Male subordinate stays put and relationship continues. Wife decides to leave, empties out bank account and takes off. Wife is found 4 days later in a motel in the bathtub with her wrists cut.
I had left the company nearly a year before the suicide.
Don't take anything for granted. No one knows what happens behind closed doors.
It is well known that some men give some women unwelcome (and unreasonable) attention in the workplace. Some men are just socially inept. You can blame them for being inept. Your job is to deflect this unwanted attention. I apologize for my fellow inept male's advances upon you. I wish there were something I could do to make up for these poorly socialized men. But alas I cannot.
We are always up for being hoist on our own petard. We pick it, we pull the ropes. At least I see it coming and can avoid it. I think so.
It isn't about being socially inept, its about location. Are you at work? Yes? Don't hit on people.
So you're saying that if I want to date a girl at work, I simply have to get her out of the office with a bunch of other coworkers and then I can make my move?
Can Do!
Make your move? What are you a caveman?
Anyway, yes in a social situation (not just out in the parking lot, that would be creepy), ask someone out. When they say no, LEAVE THEM ALONE.
Ive said this before in another thread: if you respect women this #metoo movement shouldn't affect you. Its men that are overly aggressive with their unwanted inappropriate behavior and comments laced with sexual innuendos that should be worried.
The main reason why men dont hit on women is because they lack confidence, not because of the #meetoo movement.
reality is perception. the threshold for harassment is in the eyes of the beholder and transcends any legal definition.
There must be two standards out there somewhere though when a man is sexually harassed at work or lewd and suggestive comments made to him, HR assumes the man set the situation for that response. Something they would never say to a woman. Sexual harassment of men by women is treated as a joke.
The man is assumed to be guilty until proven innocent, in the corporate world.
Most romances begin at work.... good luck with that!
there is a double standard. So much for fairness. Men beware!
No matter what she says, keep a straight face and ignore the comment. DO NOT respond in kind!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
