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I had a similar debate with a girl in college about 25 years ago who was saying "if you even have one drink, it's rape!".
I said, well what if both my gf and I had a drink?
She said I'd still be the rapist, but not the gf.
I argued a bit more, she started crying.
In hindsight she'd probably been date raped or something given her views and reaction, but I'm not going to stand there and let someone tell me I was a "rapist" because they have mental issues. Hopefully she got some therapy.
Human bodies can have physical responses without the intellect inside actually wanting "it". It is a known fact that women can get wet when raped, obviously creating all sorts of emotional confusion. But I can't imagine you saying that means the woman actually wanted it because she had a biological reaction.
Yes I know the female body can get wet, and be confused for 'enjoying' it, I agree that this does NOT mean she wanted or asked for it in anyway...but with a guy...its a little different.
I slept around quite a bit during my teens and early 20s...if I wasnt into the girl, at least a little bit, it wasnt happening. I actually tried one time, with this nasty girl my friends wanted me to sleep with, she had wanted to get with me too for awhile, but after about 30 minutes of her trying, I couldnt fake it. I only agreed to try because she offered to buy us beer and pay for a hotel for a week so we could party.(maybe its different for other guys, IDK?)
Yeah, I am joking. However, being a guy, I know there is a double standard. If a young lady is pursued by an older man, that is wrong. But if a young man has an older lady make advances toward him, it is generally something the boy brags about to his friends.
Is that right ? No, but it has been that way forever, and will continue to be. I know of no guys who would be damaged or cry foul if he were moved on by a girl his own age or someone older. Many of us had a Mrs. Robinson, who showed us the ropes, and most of us are grateful to her.
Again, maybe not right, but just the way it really is.
I understand what you are saying, and based on some of the comments I have seen here whenever there is a story of an older woman, usually a teacher, having sex with a boy or young man, usually a student, many men feel the same way.
Here's the problem with that. I got called out by another poster for not acknowledging the sexual assault of men in my original post to another thread. It is true that I did not, and I explained my reasons in my reply. I did not, however, appreciate the implication that I, or most women, have a double standard about this. Whenever the issue comes up, most of the women I have seen replying have said it's terrible for anyone to be victimized in this way, while many of the men make jokes about what a lucky kid the boy was. I don't know if this is because they really believe that, or because for a man to speak about being molested by a woman is regarded as embarrassing and unmanly, but either way, if there is a double standard here, I don't think it's primarily women who are perpetuating it.
If he elicits the help of friends to kidnap her , cover s her mouth with his hand so no one hears her scream...but doesn't do the deed cause he's so drunk....it would be considered attempted rape...but the kidnapping still stands.
Yes I know the female body can get wet, and be confused for 'enjoying' it, I agree that this does NOT mean she wanted or asked for it in anyway...but with a guy...its a little different.
I slept around quite a bit during my teens and early 20s...if I wasnt into the girl, at least a little bit, it wasnt happening. I actually tried one time, with this nasty girl my friends wanted me to sleep with, she had wanted to get with me too for awhile, but after about 30 minutes of her trying, I couldnt fake it. I only agreed to try because she offered to buy us beer and pay for a hotel for a week so we could party.(maybe its different for other guys, IDK?)
Your experience notwithstanding, it is entirely possible for a man to get an erection from physical stimulus whether or not he is attracted to the person providing the stimulus.
I had a similar debate with a girl in college about 25 years ago who was saying "if you even have one drink, it's rape!".
I said, well what if both my gf and I had a drink?
She said I'd still be the rapist, but not the gf.
I argued a bit more, she started crying.
In hindsight she'd probably been date raped or something given her views and reaction, but I'm not going to stand there and let someone tell me I was a "rapist" because they have mental issues. Hopefully she got some therapy.
That is an extreme position, and I don't think it's representative of most people.
Generally speaking, as to the first question, it's probably best to not ask anyone who is clearly impaired to make an important decision of any kind.
We seriously need to get a grip on our definition of rape. Apparently pawing at someone against her will labels you a rapist in the minds of many these days.
What never changes though is people getting off on talking about these details while telling themselves it's a serious intellectual discussion
That is an extreme position, and I don't think it's representative of most people.
Generally speaking, as to the first question, it's probably best to not ask anyone who is clearly impaired to make an important decision of any kind.
Understood, but I was reminded of that unreasonable conversation from decades ago when I saw the two women corner Flake in the elevator talking about how if you don't believe everyone regardless of proof, you're calling all victims liars type schtick...which was intentional political theatre.
I've had friends raped. I've also had a friend falsely accused (cleared by unknown security cameras that showed it was false).
Much of what I'm hearing these days is the same extreme position from back then.
There has been a lot of discussion regarding what the charges should be in the case of say a drunk man and and a drunk woman having sex or if the man is sober but the woman is drunk and have sex he should be charged with rape. But what if in the case a guy were drunk off his ass and a sober or at least just slightly inebriated woman had sex with him, do you think she should be charged with rape?
If a man was that drunk can he even get it up. Sorry for asking but in my experience they can't.
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