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There seems to be a lot of controversy around this issue. Although there is little debate that women are not responsible for sexual assaults, do they have a duty to protect themselves? If so, how? Avoiding being alone? Not drinking to excess, avoiding skimpy clothing, what? Many individuals of both genders have expressed this opinion. And if she doesn't protect herself in whatever way is deemed necessary or fitting, is the perpetrator less at fault if an assault happens?
You know that women love drama. Who do you think is watching all those talk shows? Guy cheated on his wife, girl cheated on her boyfriend, love-triangles, etc. These are all shows overwhelmingly watched by women.
Women are obsessed with people, men are obsessed with things and ideas. Men demand respect, women are enablers.
I don't believe the question reflects the OP's views. I think it was just meant as a way of starting the conversation.
Correct. I mentioned that my initial post did not reflect my personal views, but the views of some individuals thither and yon in the wake of the Kavanaugh confirmation and Dr. Ford's testimony.
No other answer can be derived without relegating women to 2nd-Class status. Every person, regardless of their age or how they're dressed, and irrespective of their state of intoxication has an inherent right to be free of unwanted touches.
If you cannot abide that, then you will probably end up before a court, and justifiably so.
Oh, I'm on board. Nobody has any responsibility to keep themselves safe from anything.
You know that women love drama. Who do you think is watching all those talk shows? Guy cheated on his wife, girl cheated on her boyfriend, love-triangles, etc. These are all shows overwhelmingly watched by women.
Women are obsessed with people, men are obsessed with things and ideas. Men demand respect, women are enablers.
Yeah just look at Lifetime TV channel. You come away with the distinct impression that females even revel in victimhood and aren't really victims at all. I almost come to the conclusion that while certainly pickier females are sexually more resilient and less fragile than men are.
I'm not shifting blame at all. I'm just saying that if women can yell and scream and protest and get into Senator's faces, then perhaps they can use that energy towards convictions of actual sex offenders before there's any talk of the statute of limitations or doubts about the timing of the accusation. Get the rape kit done. Don't throw your clothes in the trash. They will have DNA evidence on them. Bag them and hand them to the police. Get a $25 indoor camera from Amazon. If you're on a date, use your cell phone to record the date. Some cell phones have enough storage and power to record for hours. Tell two or three people where you're going and who you are going out with.
My wife and I met online. The first time we met, she met me with three of her friends. They knew my name, where I was from, and even took down my license plate number, make and model of my car, etc.
Also, there are many cases where revered upstanding men were raised by their mothers because the father/male was absent. This is prevalent in the African American community. Obama gave his mother and grandmother praise for raising him while his father was absent. I disagree that a woman can't teach a boy good manners and behaviors. A boy loves and respects his mother from the womb just as he would his father.
If a woman wants her son to respect women and a male role model is not available, I believe she can accomplish it as well as any man can. And if a boy respects his mother and/or sisters, chances are he will respect women. I'm a living example. My father physically fought my mother. He wasn't necessarily someone I wanted to ever follow after. Just because there's a male around doesn't mean he's teaching a boy the right things. Some fathers tell their sons to conquer and subdue women.
I agree. And there are countless laws and programs to facilitate a woman speaking out when the assault happens. If we have resigned to the idea that women can take 50 years to hold something in, then there will be multitudes of women who will be victimized by the same assailant until someone is brave enough to speak out. There is a cause and effect. If a woman doesn't speak out, other women are at risk. If she does, then many women will be safe. Simple as that. I as a man can't help if I never know you've been assaulted. Your community can't help if you never speak up about being assaulted. Kavanaugh may have never been nominated or ever served on a bench if Ford spoke up decades ago. There are no mind readers here.
There are thousands of rape kits sitting unprocessed. I was brutally raped in 1971 and held for three days after having been abducted from a sidewalk running along a busy four lane highway. Nothing was done. I spoke out. Or tried to. The police and nearly everyone pressured me to drop the matter “for my own good,” so I wouldn’t have my reputation ruined and drag my family into public attention. I don’t know, mayve the police even believed I was at fault; women are still being told that. I was too injured and traumatized to fight to them about it, and I thought too that since everyone was telling me the same, maybe they were right. I still have flashbacks.
Now there is more support for women’s speaking out, and I am very much in favor of it, but please don’t criticize women who didn’t many years ago. I don’t know your age, but I can tell you life for most women was very different then.
There are thousands of rape kits sitting unprocessed. I was brutally raped in 1971 and held for three days after having been abducted from a sidewalk running along a busy four lane highway. Nothing was done. I spoke out. Or tried to. The police and nearly everyone pressured me to drop the matter “for my own good,” so I wouldn’t have my reputation ruined and drag my family into public attention. I don’t know, mayve the police even believed I was at fault; women are still being told that. I was too injured and traumatized to fight to them about it, and I thought too that since everyone was telling me the same, maybe they were right. I still have flashbacks.
Now there is more support for women’s speaking out, and I am very much in favor of it, but please don’t criticize women who didn’t many years ago. I don’t know your age, but I can tell you life for most women was very different then.
G
Sorry that happened to you. When they said 'for your own good', I can tell you that defense attorneys used to get away with disgusting questioning of the victim. They'd bring up every relationship, ask about sex, imply the woman was fast and loose and asking for it, and that was acceptable for some odd reason.
Thankfully, that's changed. But women who did report it back then and had been questioned under oath, felt they'd been raped twice. It was unbelievably unfair to treat victims like that and I still don't understand it.
Women are everywhere walking by random men in public. But why is the sexual encounter usually with someone they know. Maybe because they had a sexual rapport.
That is not what I mean, and I think you know it.
First of all, I refuse to call any act absent consent a "sexual encounter." Second, when the assailant is known to his (or her) victim, it's the fact that they are in frequent contact, professionally, socially, in a classroom, or, heaven help us, in a church, that provides the opportunity. Do you think those little boys who were molested by priests felt some kind of "sexual rapport" with their attackers? Most men, including priests, are not predators, but for those who are, there is no more effective tool than familiarity.
Cases like that have nothing to do with rapport of any kind. They are a betrayal of trust, pure and simple.
There are thousands of rape kits sitting unprocessed. I was brutally raped in 1971 and held for three days after having been abducted from a sidewalk running along a busy four lane highway. Nothing was done. I spoke out. Or tried to. The police and nearly everyone pressured me to drop the matter “for my own good,” so I wouldn’t have my reputation ruined and drag my family into public attention. I don’t know, mayve the police even believed I was at fault; women are still being told that. I was too injured and traumatized to fight to them about it, and I thought too that since everyone was telling me the same, maybe they were right. I still have flashbacks.
Now there is more support for women’s speaking out, and I am very much in favor of it, but please don’t criticize women who didn’t many years ago. I don’t know your age, but I can tell you life for most women was very different then.
G
What do you mean nothing was done? The suspect wasn't identified or caught? I'm guessing they got the guy on other charges and put him away for a long time, and justice was served.
Maybe you were better off than having to prove the rape charges at the time?
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