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Perhaps it is because most of the posters here are raising their son's (in my case, stepsons) to respect ALL people equally. Furthermore, maybe many here lead by example as I do in the treatment of my wife, daughter and all women I come in contact with.
It appears to me that the real discussion we should be having is why some (certainly not me) are teaching their daughters not to report sexual abuse immediately. Assuming for a moment that Dr. Ford's accusations are true, reporting may have prevented sexual abuse of Deborah Ramirez and at minimum, prevented Brett Kavanaugh from participating in the multiple gang-rape parties that Julie Swetnick attended (by her own admission).
We have arrived at a maddening paradox where treating women equally is expected, but expecting equality is sexist.
No parent teaches their child that intentionally, but perhaps unintentionally. If a girl is taught that it's all in her control what happens or doesn't, then how do you go tell your parent 'this happened to m'e when you feel (know?) they are going to ask how did that happen? What did YOU do?
This is what Ford said kind of, didn't she? She was somewhere she wasn't supposed to be.
I skipped school and went to a 'party' at 13. An older boy tried to rape me. Yes, my gf's boyfriend saved me, but would he testify against his friend or would he call me a liar when the time came?
I didn't even have time to process anything. Police had been sent for truancy. By whom, I do not know, but it was a mad scene. My instinct was to run a few blocks home from the police sent on all of us. I am sure I was also fleeing the scene I wanted to flee anyway after what happened. He found me at home (the cop) parents were called. Sent to my room. Told to pack, I was obviously not ok at my Mom's and had to go live with Dad.
In my new room at a new house, I was hit for the first and only time with a belt for this display of delinquency. I don't remember any good time in that whole ordeal to say hey, by the way, that boy tried to rape me. And there was nothing ambiguous about the attempted rape AT ALL.
I don't know if this is true but I imagined my father saying well what did you think would happen,putting yourself in that situation. I was ASHAMED and FEARFUL to tell him.
This is something that is going around in the media right now. An article to men about why the women in their life might have been sexually assaulted but did not tell you.
Attempted rape is hard to prove. I had witnesses. I had no belief they would back me, though. Stopping the encounter is one thing, getting on the stand and saying yes, my friend did that is another. Especially when the parents of the boy and the lawyers get involved.
They would also be in trouble themselves. We were underage. If I am not mistaken, they were statutory raping my friends. Consensual, and they may have been covered by 'romeo and juliet' defense, but a wee bit complicated is my point.
Michael, where were you when this occurred? 'Having sex with Becky'. I mean, all of this went through my head when I did get to process it. EVERYONE would have had to get on the stand and talk about what THEY were doing.
Would the parents and lawyers even allow that? Even if both of my gf's and their bf's were willing? I seriously doubt any of that would have gone well.
Should I have come forward anyway? Maybe so. They could have lied I guess about what they were doing. Come up with a story. IDK. I didn't see that going anywhere. I was trying to survive all the trauma of that day.
I try my best to just ignore you because you're not worth the time and effort to warrant a response. But what the hell is wrong with you that your thinking is so screwed up?
Physical assault of women is....or should be...a concern for men. Why? Because we have wives, mothers, sisters, daughters or friends who might one day be victims to a sexual predator.
In addition, you keep trying to minimize the crime by stating that in the big picture of crime, rapes only represent 8%. (7.5% to be exact per FBI numbers)
First of all, only 310 out of 1,000 sexual assaults are reported. So 2 out of 3 aren't reported. Some of those are rapes - which means the 8% is low.
Secondly, it doesn't matter if it's 1% of all crime that we're talking about. Rape is a violent assault on women that is horrific and can ruin lives. Not only their life, but those of family members struggling to help them.
You constantly bash black folks, whine about Mexicans not speaking English out in public, are pro-segregation, and now we can add misogynist to the list.
YOU are the type of guy that makes men look bad. You embarrass me.
If you were a better human being I'd ask you to apologize to the women posting in this thread - but you'll only come up with some lame excuse about why you don't have to.
Feel free to prove me wrong on that last point.
Some appear to possess such issues, apparently from a background of having negative messages strongly impressed upon them, then acting as if their unusual stance is somehow normal or commonplace.
I said it before and will again. Reading some of these posts one would think that all men are rapists and all women have been raped.
No, the vast majority of men are not rapists nor do we sexually assault women.
Some try to make us feel guilty because some men are rapists. I do feel bad that some are, but I am not one of them.
I taught my daughters to be as proactive as possible. Take precautions when possible. I don't want them to be a statistic. We dont live in a perfect world. Bad people are out there and we need to be aware.
Sure, continuing to look over one's shoulder, being conscious of everything, the "what if's", living in fear.
I found the comprehensive list but I don't know how to put big pictures in here. Vary your route home from work is one of them. We have to act like a person with a known stalker at all times.
Other advice is conflicting. Don't look strange men in the eye. Look at strange men on the street assertively in the eye.
We have to presume that all the men are lions and tigers and bears. It's a hard way to live everyday, all the time before we even go on a date or agree to an activity with a mixed group.
There seems to be a lot of controversy around this issue. Although there is little debate that women are not responsible for sexual assaults, do they have a duty to protect themselves? If so, how? Avoiding being alone? Not drinking to excess, avoiding skimpy clothing, what? Many individuals of both genders have expressed this opinion. And if she doesn't protect herself in whatever way is deemed necessary or fitting, is the perpetrator less at fault if an assault happens?
What kind of a question is that? Does she have a duty? Of course not, but I don't think any woman if she has a brain would put herself in a position to invite sexual assault.
What should she do? That is up to her. What can she do? We all know the answer to that. And no, the perpetrator isn't any less or any more at fault. I do think some woman do not use common sense when it comes to putting themselves in situations that could get out of hand. I also see a difference when the 2 involved are teen agers.
As noted, the perpetrator is always at fault. However, the argument I have seen that it is wrong and/or misogynistic to even suggest that women should use caution or take steps to protect themselves or avoid danger (because they "shouldn't" have to) is ludicrous and irresponsible. There are plenty of things I shouldn't have to worry about, but I still take reasonable precautions to prevent bad things from happening or to ameliorate their effects.
I agree.
All humans need to take self precaution and responsibility. Females are not the only gender that are the victim of violence. Also, there are female serial killers, murders, arsonists, etc.
IMO, all humans from an early age should be taught martial arts.
From age 0 to 7, the foundation of a being is instilled. It is very important for parents to properly raise their kids. An issue that we have in this world is sub-par parenting due to the parents having no business having kids.
I said it before and will again. Reading some of these posts one would think that all men are rapists and all women have been raped.
No, the vast majority of men are not rapists nor do we sexually assault women.
Some try to make us feel guilty because some men are rapists. I do feel bad that some are, but I am not one of them.
I taught my daughters to be as proactive as possible. Take precautions when possible. I don't want them to be a statistic. We dont live in a perfect world. Bad people are out there and we need to be aware.
I also don't believe all men have that tendency or that women think they do.
We have been focused upon women being responsible for prevention, which has always been a focus. Why don't we look at and address why (some) males will have that tendency, what conditions when being raised causes some to become rapists or aggressive and try doing whatever possible to end that? To send regular messages to males while growing up about what not to do, in ways besides through parenting. Instead, some end up being guys who will cut loose at a frat party, etc., being cheered on by their buddies, apparenlty thinking it's all in fun, and not a crime. If females have something to drink at a gathering, are socializing and feel lighter, it should not be seen as an invitation for a guy to take advantage. But, typically, men would be loosened up too, then react possibly in such a way.
Not just being about what creates violent attackers, but those boys who will have the impulse to go too far in the moment or thinking overpowering another is okay, justifying that "she wanted it", taking advantage of a female who has lost consciousness for whatever reason, who could not protest. All levels of how some get ideas or have impulses. Why does this continue being such an issue?
We have seen how female sexuality has become such a focus everywhere, in musical performances, even in many regular TV ads promoting the beautification of women, that "entertainment for men" magazines have existed for eons besides Pornography, and even Video games having been known to contain and promote violence against women. Is this helping? Men are undoubtedly given a lot of sexual messages in general and then, where is a line drawn?
Do males have a duty to not overpower a female? To not commit a crime? Yet, it is seen how many men are not convicted of attacks, how many incidents are swept aside, how many women will still not come forward due to complexities and how many rape kits are already being left unprocessed -- so why would these acts be taken seriously?
Again, why does the focus continue being upon the shoulders of females?
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