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Vetra, I based her on a real person, a woman I was dating when I was 15. I met her at sam-goody back in 85 she was an assistant manager there. aaaahhhh memories.
Vetra, I based her on a real person, a woman I was dating when I was 15. I met her at sam-goody back in 85 she was an assistant manager there. aaaahhhh memories.
A. mutual attraction.
B. common interests and worldview.
c. Faithfulness (in behavior and deed)
D. non-materialistic.
E. seeking life long monogamy.
F. no kids at home.
6 things out of 100's of possible types and criteria etc etc.
I have found women with a few of those traits, I have met a few with all of those traits(sadly they arent in the dating pool because they are usually happily married.).
The only women who seem to contact me on OLD sites and apps who are seeking the same type of LTR as me are ones with a built in roadblock to having said relationship, such as demanding job(hardly ever around no time for a relationship anyway), young kids at home or one that is becoming way to common they live hours away out in BFE.
Meanwhile when I drag myself out to try and meet someone in real life I meet otherwise wonderful women I click with and lives conducive to being in a relationship(no kids or grown kids long moved out no demanding job, no real responsibilities, etc etc), but the problem is they have no interest in being in one, yes they want to hang out with me, they are even willing to have sex go on multiple dates etc etc... but they have no interest in being exclusive.
It's very depressing as it tells me I'm good enough to "hang out" with or be an FWB, but not viewed as good enough to be a one and only.
And most of the advice I get is well meaning ways of saying "through money at the problem".
Such as finding a higher paying job, join activities you enjoy etc etc...
Well most activities I enjoy turn out to be sausage fests when I show up.
Well I don't want to change jobs mine is stress free and most jobs that I've made more money at were full of stress and made me miserable 5-6 days a week. If I met the right woman today with the rest of my life as is I would be a pleasure to be around if I met the right woman and I had a stressful but high paying job or heaven forbid ......career. I would still be stressed.
I feel like I have no good options. I feel like a romantic living in a world that killed romance.
Of course that's a reasonable list, in of itself. If you get pushback, consider where you're posting. You might have difficulty with last item depending on your age though.
Mutal attraction: are you attractive? Do you take cate of your body and mental health? Have an attractive personality people want to be with?
Interest: what do you like to do that can be shared with another person?
Non-materialistic: is this a cop out for you being non ambitious. I ask this because most women would want someone driven who can balance career and home life. Hopefully you aren’t lying to yourself and being lazy in your career and then saying you can’t attract a women.
It could be why you get into FWB or friendly relationships with women who don’t want to settle down with you.
What six traits do you think women are looking for in a man, and do you have them all?
All of them, my daughter is grown and does not live with me, I'm not a cheater, not materialistic, I have plenty of free time for a relationship etc etc..
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Mutal attraction: are you attractive? Do you take cate of your body and mental health? Have an attractive personality people want to be with?
I work out daily, I cycle every other day and most women like my humor, creativity and passion(though admittedly not as much as I would like them to)
Quote:
Interest: what do you like to do that can be shared with another person?
Most things I enjoy doing I enjoy 10X more when doing them with a romantic partner, I just seek someone who feels the same way.
Quote:
Non-materialistic: is this a cop out for you being non ambitious. I ask this because most women would want someone driven who can balance career and home life. Hopefully you aren’t lying to yourself and being lazy in your career and then saying you can’t attract a women.
Are you justifying a materialistic attitude? please don't, there is enough evil in the world.
There is a huge difference between being lazy and wanting a simple life not stressing and slowly killing myself trying to keep up with the Jonesez. Been there done that and got the high blood pressure and cholesterol to show for it(luckily I was able to reverse that without medication just by gaining a simpler lifestyle).
These two statements don't follow. There's a significant conflict. If you what you list as criteria translate to desiring a "unicorn" or, to borrow from the job recruiting industry, purple squirrel, then it is seeking "that much" in the sense that what those things are, how they're defined and how all of that comes together, can be challenging to find.
[...]
You have a specific type. You've expressed it in great detail many times before. It isn't "just" wanting "six" things. It's wanting six things the way you want and how you define it and how it fits into your life.
Yeah, like, it's not just faithfulness, it's that the OP has explicitly said that a woman who wants to spend time with family and friends and not him 24/7 is being disrespectful to him and not valuing their relationship. That's something that sends up red flags.
You have a specific type. You've expressed it in great detail many times before. It isn't "just" wanting "six" things. It's wanting six things the way you want and how you define it and how it fits into your life.
Yup. This. Face it, Cyph; you need someone who is those six things, PLUS they don't mind living in a pretty stark, uninviting, bachelor pad, that you keep dark inside, due to your vision issues. You need someone very into electronics and gaming, who has a "unique" (I'll call it) post-apocalyptic sensibility about life. (I guess the post-apocalyptic aspect comes under the "shared worldview" list item?)
Yet, you say you've met a number of women who would fit the bill, but they're married? Really? They live in stark, very spare environments, surrounded by dead grass, no greenery, no interior decorations at all, and spend a good portion of their spare time playing video games with their spouse?
Or has something changed? Your list sounds reasonable enough, on the surface of it....
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. I would still be stressed. 
