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But it's a lot more complicated than that. Public schools, for example, are subsidized by taxes because an educated populace benefits us all. Some families will never pay enough into city, state and federal coffers to cover the complete cost associated with educating their children, but that doesn't mean it's wise for the state to neglect to educate said children.
I'm talking about tax credits and federal welfare programs that pay you more based on how many kids you have. The government shouldn't incentivize you to have more kids than you can afford. Once people have them we're stuck with supporting them. I think some folks would think twice about having them if they weren't going to get more money from the federal government for doing so.
No it isn't. You HAVE to eat you DO NOT have to have children. Plenty of people choose not to have children without any ill effects.
If you can't afford to care for, feed, cloth, support a child DON'T HAVE ONE.
That brings up another issue. We have a culture of encouraging breeding just as a part of "going through the motions" of adulthood.
I'm in my late 20s, married since I was 22, dual income with high paying jobs, well-educated, financially comfortable, yada yada...but I don't feel like we're ready for kids because we still want to focus on ourselves and our own endeavours and happiness before we sign our lives away to a child for 18+ years. Once we have a child or adopt, they own us. They become all that matter, our own desires would no longer be any factor in any decisions made. That is what being a parent is.
That's a pretty big ask, yet so many people I know (or even meet) keep asking when I'll hurry up and have kids.
I simply tell them I'm too selfish to be a parent, and instead of being relieved that a selfish person is not breeding, they usually try to further convince me to change my mind!
Wth? In a logical world, an unwillingness to make unlimited sacrifices for your (hopefully hypothetical) children should render you unfit to reproduce in the eyes of others.
That brings up another issue. We have a culture of encouraging breeding just as a part of "going through the motions" of adulthood.
I'm in my late 20s, married since I was 22, dual income with high paying jobs, well-educated, financially comfortable, yada yada...but I don't feel like we're ready for kids because we still want to focus on ourselves and our own endeavours and happiness before we sign our lives away to a child for 18+ years. Once we have a child or adopt, they own us. They become all that matter, our own desires would no longer be any factor in any decisions made. That is what being a parent is.
That's a pretty big ask, yet so many people I know (or even meet) keep asking when I'll hurry up and have kids.
I simply tell them I'm too selfish to be a parent, and instead of being relieved that a selfish person is not breeding, they usually try to further convince me to change my mind!
Wth? In a logical world, an unwillingness to make unlimited sacrifices for your (hopefully hypothetical) children should render you unfit to reproduce in the eyes of others.
Thank you. I wish more people understood what you do.
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Bottom line is that some people view anything done for the collective good to be horrible and tyrannical. In the US we have a very high number of these type of hard core ideologues.
And when you say "done", you really mean "take the property from those that have worked hard and become successful, and give it to those that have not". That is theft. That is socialism. And that IS horrible and tyrannical. You can sugarcoat it with the "collective good" argument, but that is the argument made by the most oppressive and tyrannical governments throughout history.
We need to go back to basics. Fully committed legally married parents, one parent stays home full time, the other works, children are always raised and supervised by present and engaged parents.
You mean parent. Because in the day when committed legally married parents where one stayed home full time while the other worked, well dad worked and thats about the end of parenting for many dads. Many were not present or engaged.
One thing I have noticed about the change from single to two income hh is that dad is having to take on more of the actual parenting responsibilities than he did back in my day. Which translates to actually having two engaged parents instead of one parent and one breadwinner/ occasional babysitter.
And when you say "done", you really mean "take the property from those that have worked hard and become successful, and give it to those that have not". That is theft. That is socialism. And that IS horrible and tyrannical. You can sugarcoat it with the "collective good" argument, but that is the argument made by the most oppressive and tyrannical governments throughout history.
Well, that's life. Sorry. You drive on roads that others have paid for. You might use public transportation that others have paid for. You enjoy police and military protection that others pay for. If you call the fire department, you can rest easy in the knowledge that a fire engine will show up, paid for by the taxes of those who have never had a house fire. If you go to the library, you're using services that others pay for. If you send or sent your children to public school, others who have worked hard paid for those teachers and that building and those books that you aren't paying the full cost of. If you have a heart attack and end up with surgery in the middle of the night, other people's insurance premiums are going to pay for your care even if they've never had anything more serious than a cold or an ingrown toenail.
All of us accept "socialism" in these forms and don't think twice about it. You'd have to move to a desert island in order not to take advantage of the contributions by other people.
If by “suitable”, you mean independent, rational, prepared, competent adults, then yes, only suitable parents should be having kids. 80 year olds should not be expecting their kids to wipe their ass. Again, as adults, they should be preparing all their lives for eventual realities of old age. It is Elder Child Abuse to expect your kids to take physical care of you when you are old and feeble. Long term care insurance and personal savings can handle this. Again, just be a rational adult, and these things are easily handled.
No, just eliminating government programs that make it easy to be irresponsible. If suffering and misery was the alternative to being sensible, we’d have a lot more sensible people.
If by “suitable”, you mean independent, rational, prepared, competent adults, then yes, only suitable parents should be having kids. 80 year olds should not be expecting their kids to wipe their ass. Again, as adults, they should be preparing all their lives for eventual realities of old age. It is Elder Child Abuse to expect your kids to take physical care of you when you are old and feeble. Long term care insurance and personal savings can handle this. Again, just be a rational adult, and these things are easily handled.
The only thing I expect from my kid when I'm old and cannot wipe my ass, is to put my glock with one round near my bed.
That brings up another issue. We have a culture of encouraging breeding just as a part of "going through the motions" of adulthood.
I'm in my late 20s, married since I was 22, dual income with high paying jobs, well-educated, financially comfortable, yada yada...but I don't feel like we're ready for kids because we still want to focus on ourselves and our own endeavours and happiness before we sign our lives away to a child for 18+ years. Once we have a child or adopt, they own us. They become all that matter, our own desires would no longer be any factor in any decisions made. That is what being a parent is.
That's a pretty big ask, yet so many people I know (or even meet) keep asking when I'll hurry up and have kids.
I simply tell them I'm too selfish to be a parent, and instead of being relieved that a selfish person is not breeding, they usually try to further convince me to change my mind!
Wth? In a logical world, an unwillingness to make unlimited sacrifices for your (hopefully hypothetical) children should render you unfit to reproduce in the eyes of others.
If that is how you feel about parenthood please never have kids. That is NOT what parenthood is, it is not prison sentence. This is an extreme way of thinking. If you don't have a life as a parent your kids have little chance of being well adjusted. Your life with your kids should be mutually satisfying and something to look forward to. If you see it as a loss, you are not parent material.
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