Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ok . . . in human beings, monogamy is not natural. I put "cheats" in quotation marks, because it's a false premise that people own each other and will likely not stray. It's just facts. You can argue against nature all you want, and yes, you can take vows not to "cheat," but then most people go ahead and "cheat" anyway - the ones who don't are very committed and disciplined, and I don't know what else . . . I think it must be a very, very small number.
We know most men cheat because we read about their antics, daily, and the DNA testing indicates so many "other" siblings, families, etc. It is NOT UNUSUAL. It is COMMON.
Human beings are in denial and really just kind of immature and silly about human sexuality and the nature of the species.
Yet, somehow, the majority of people in committed relationships manage to NOT cheat on their partners.
You are dead wrong. Monogamy developed as an essential part of society when humans chose to live together in communities. Why? To prevent social disorder with males killing each other over females.
Even in organized social animal groups (wolves), monogamy has evolved as an essential component to organisms living together without self slaughter.
If you love anarchy, support a uniform system of adultery. Only a liberal would support such a system and actually believe it would be beneficial, as it defies tens of thousands of years of human civilization, and liberals are always wrong.
Don't forget survival of offspring. Everyone loves sex but reproduction, paternity, heritage is also very important. And how best to become successful and build a legacy than to ensure the protection, survival and success of your progeny. If a man is planting seeds willy nilly he is less likely to have a vested interest in anyone of them let alone have reason to believe they are his.
So yes I believe monogamy is natural.
All this doesnt hold true so much today as men and women dont need one another for survival or the survival of their offspring but we still see more overall success when we have children raised within a monogamous relationship.
Yet, somehow, the majority of people in committed relationships manage to NOT cheat on their partners.
Weird.
I hear what you are saying, but around half of marriages end in divorce. No, not always because of cheating, but sometimes. Also "cheating" can be a symptom of deeper problems where one or both partners aren't happy, feel ignored, or just not connected any longer.
Marriage is not often easy, and I think unfaithfulness is a very common occurrence for both men and women.
I hear what you are saying, but around half of marriages end in divorce. No, not always because of cheating, but sometimes. Also "cheating" can be a symptom of deeper problems where one or both partners aren't happy, feel ignored, or just not connected any longer.
Marriage is not often easy, and I think unfaithfulness is a very common occurrence for both men and women.
Sure, I don't disagree with any of that.
Define "very common", though. 25%? 40%? 75%?
I will stand by my assertion that the majority of people in committed relationships do not cheat.
I divorced my first wife. Neither of us cheated. I've never cheated in any serious relationship. If you want out, get out. Then start sleeping around. Easy peasy.
I will stand by my assertion that the majority of people in committed relationships do not cheat.
I divorced my first wife. Neither of us cheated. I've never cheated in any serious relationship. If you want out, get out. Then start sleeping around. Easy peasy.
Defining cheating as various versions of sex and ignoring affairs that do not involve physical contact (like sexting) my gut says about 1/3. Probably 1/2 for those married and in the armed forces.
This includes all versions including drunken one nighters that happen exactly once, travel cheaters, and full on love affairs.
What’s not natural is the most important legal contract most people will ever enter into not being available in clearly written form with all its terms and blank spots clearly explained to both parties before they sign it.
A clearly written, enforceable marriage contract would go a long way towards eliminating all the chaos surrounding marriage and monogamy.
Of course, a clearly written, clearly understood marriage contract would go a long ways towards weeding out a lot of doomed marriages and futile attempts at monogamy in the first place.
What’s not natural is the most important legal contract most people will ever enter into not being available in clearly written form with all its terms and blank spots clearly explained to both parties before they sign it.
A clearly written, enforceable marriage contract would go a long way towards eliminating all the chaos surrounding marriage and monogamy.
Of course, a clearly written, clearly understood marriage contract would go a long ways towards weeding out a lot of doomed marriages and futile attempts at monogamy in the first place.
Interesting idea. Not saying bad but the downsides I see would be:
1) Extreme penalties in contracts for infidelity like 100-0 asset splits and non visitation of children. When someone with no intention of cheating brings up the penalties are overly harsh, they are accused of wanting to cheat.
2) Filling court rooms up with long trials.
Defining cheating as various versions of sex and ignoring affairs that do not involve physical contact (like sexting) my gut says about 1/3. Probably 1/2 for those married and in the armed forces.
This includes all versions including drunken one nighters that happen exactly once, travel cheaters, and full on love affairs.
...Salaky points to research from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, which found that about 45% of men and 35% of women have admitted to having an emotional affair. That's a lot more than the 20% of people who admit to having a physical affair...
If human beings accepted that, fewer people would be so pissed off and upset when their spouse "cheats" on them.
Marriage vows say to stay faithful, don't they? And clothes aren't natural either. But people should still wear them!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
