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This is an absolutely brilliant idea by #WalkAway founder Brandon Straka. A lot of people don't know Trump was a Democrat years ago. Why did he #WalkAway? A Twitter campaign has started. Trump admires Straka so I bet he does it!
The curtains go up to reveal the Donald standing on the old set of The Apprentice. He begins to speak:
"All my life I was searching for something without quite knowing what it was I sought. Women came and went and they all let me grab them by the pu$$y. After a while though, I became bored - so easy - TOO easy. I walked down Fifth Avenue in broad daylight, looking for an illegal to shoot. I finally saw a guy with a pretty good tan - close enough - so I let him have it with a bullet between the eyes. No one tried to stop me before I shot him and no one cared after I did it.
My teflon life was so boring that I worried about having an existential crisis! I tried to turn my various incredible business schemes into adventures in bankruptcy, but Dad spoiled my fun by paying off all my creditors and giving me the money to try yet another new venture - casinos. When you own a casino, you figure out pretty quick that the house always wins - again boring. So, stable genius that I am, I managed to bankrupt every casino in Atlantic City - bigly. God, I'm good!
I had my heart set on destroying the economy of Vegas next, but then I started thinking about the Clintons. Bill was a man after my own heart - that Monica Lewinsky was one hot chick. Plus, Hillary had so many friends sending her all those emails. I was betting that Hillary's friends were also sending her illegal campaign donations to all her offshore bank accounts - especially her account with the Benghazi branch of Deutsche Bank. I wanted to learn everything Crooked Hillary could teach me, so I had Rudy go down to Democratic headquarters with a quid pro quo that even Bill couldn't refuse.
But then after a while I realized that the Democrats are all actually socialists. What a bunch of losers! Would I ever find true love? No one deserved it more than I did. By the way, did you know that I'm a stable genius? So one day there I was, sitting on a bench at a bus stop across from the Internet Research Agency, sobbing my heart out in downtown St. Petersburg. Mar a Lago was so far away and not a single Trump Tower for hundreds of miles.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. A man with a sexy Russian accent began to speak soothing words into my ear. He told me, 'Just #WalkAway from those wimpy Democrats, Donald. You know Nancy is never going to go to the White House Correspondents Dinner with you, no matter how many times you ask. Forget about her. I can offer you something that neither Nancy or Hillary or even Bernie possibly can - #Real COMMUNISM! Come with me to my secret room in the old KGB Headquarters across from the Kremlin, and I'll show you how sweet Collusion really can be!'
Then Donald concludes, "So, I left the Democrats for my new BFF Vlad and I've never regretted it. Make Ankara Great Again, everybody!"
The curtains go up to reveal the Donald standing on the old set of The Apprentice. He begins to speak:
"All my life I was searching for something without quite knowing what it was I sought. Women came and went and they all let me grab them by the pu$$y. After a while though, I became bored - so easy - TOO easy. I walked down Fifth Avenue in broad daylight, looking for an illegal to shoot. I finally saw a guy with a pretty good tan - close enough - so I let him have it with a bullet between the eyes. No one tried to stop me before I shot him and no one cared after I did it.
My teflon life was so boring that I worried about having an existential crisis! I tried to turn my various incredible business schemes into adventures in bankruptcy, but Dad spoiled my fun by paying off all my creditors and giving me the money to try yet another new venture - casinos. When you own a casino, you figure out pretty quick that the house always wins - again boring. So, stable genius that I am, I managed to bankrupt every casino in Atlantic City - bigly. God, I'm good!
I had my heart set on destroying the economy of Vegas next, but then I started thinking about the Clintons. Bill was a man after my own heart - that Monica Lewinsky was one hot chick. Plus, Hillary had so many friends sending her all those emails. I was betting that Hillary's friends were also sending her illegal campaign donations to all her offshore bank accounts - especially her account with the Benghazi branch of Deutsche Bank. I wanted to learn everything Crooked Hillary could teach me, so I had Rudy go down to Democratic headquarters with a quid pro quo that even Bill couldn't refuse.
But then after a while I realized that the Democrats are all actually socialists. What a bunch of losers! Would I ever find true love? No one deserved it more than I did. By the way, did you know that I'm a stable genius? So one day there I was, sitting on a bench at a bus stop across from the Internet Research Agency, sobbing my heart out in downtown St. Petersburg. Mar a Lago was so far away and not a single Trump Tower for hundreds of miles.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. A man with a sexy Russian accent began to speak soothing words into my ear. He told me, 'Just #WalkAway from those wimpy Democrats, Donald. You know Nancy is never going to go to the White House Correspondents Dinner with you, no matter how many times you ask. Forget about her. I can offer you something that neither Nancy or Hillary or even Bernie possibly can - #Real COMMUNISM! Come with me to my secret room in the old KGB Headquarters across from the Kremlin, and I'll show you how sweet Collusion really can be!'
Then Donald concludes, "So, I left the Democrats for my new BFF Vlad and I've never regretted it. Make Ankara Great Again, everybody!"
Now, this is the true definition of perfect.
Maybe this will stop Trump from whining about being cheated out of that Emmy?
May I make copies of this and distribute, Colorado Rambler?
This is an absolutely brilliant idea by #WalkAway founder Brandon Straka. A lot of people don't know Trump was a Democrat years ago. Why did he #WalkAway? A Twitter campaign has started. Trump admires Straka so I bet he does it!
"I am an opportunist. People say I'm the best opportunist. I don't actually stand for any particular platform but, believe me, I saw a chance to profiteer off of the political system by appealing to a segment of the population's base racist instincts so I switched - because I make the best deals. Also there was no quid pro quo."
He knew only Republicans would be stupid enough to fall for his pathological lies and reality show schtick. And lo and behold, he was right!
I mean, literally that is the reason. He couldn't get any traction with the Democrats no matter how much money he gave.
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