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The focus of this article is not directly about this, but it goes into it. Black people used to be seen as overly sexual like animals. Which I think has different connotations to different people. The remaining people that still hold outdated ideas could either see the black man or woman as unfair competition, or fear that black males are rapists and women need to be protected from them. Including black women, based on documentaries I have seen, but probably primarily white women.
There is a flip side to everything. It says that black males have so many negatives to deal with that the myth of the giant black male penis and sexual prowess is seen to some black men as a positive they want to run with. Something to be able to feel superior about.
Meh...I’m here nor there about it. That said, the hyper sexualization of black males has its pluses and minuses. I see it as a wash overall.
Besides, I see the American black male as a different species when it comes to this topic. Black men from Africa tend to be a lot more humble, seeing as how they still have their culture.
African American males come out of Southern white culture, which is the root of all the swaggering machismo and hyper sexualization that our reputation implies.
Meh...I’m here nor there about it. That said, the hyper sexualization of black males has its pluses and minuses. I see it as a wash overall.
Besides, I see the American black male as a different species when it comes to this topic. Black men from Africa tend to be a lot more humble, seeing as how they still have their culture.
African American males come out of Southern white culture, which is the root of all the swaggering machismo and hyper sexualization that our reputation implies.
It’s a very complicated issue.
There is a reason why "a black man raped me" is still a convenient go-to for white women seeking sympathy to cover their own crimes.
I don't think that is all there is to that. I used to be able to tell which guy wanting to date me was racist asking me if I ever slept with a black man. Which I always found hilarious. Why do you want to know? Would I then be sullied?
The first guy said yeah, that would be gross. I was like really? They leave permanent cooties behind or ??????
Honestly I don't even want to understand racists anymore, nothing they say makes any sense to begin with. And that goes both ways. I have black friends who JOKE about white people, but it's only a joke.
Even in the jokes, though, which I don't see as racist from these individuals, there are pervasive thoughts about us that are not true just as certain stereotypes attributed to blacks are not true.
Someone upthread mentioned something only white people used to do and it had to do with money. It was a thought that came about during a time for the most part only white people had any. It has nothing to do with color of skin or culture, and we didn't rub that off onto black people, black people started getting money too.
Another set of memes I see on fb say 'you know you're black when _____' and every single time it's Southern culture (I live in the south) nothing to do with race but enough people think it has to do with race to create and share these memes. ETA: Southern and/or poor. Like a certain weird food combination that was due to limited items in the fridge waiting on payday.
Also, all this 'white man's culture affecting us' I think that has to do with WESTERN culture affecting ALL of us. I know Malcolm X talked about that a lot, it doesn't make him right on that.
My grandparents generation had a certain outlook on things that if they were alive to see their grandkids/great grandkids on social media reading memes about eating @ss, would keel over dead. I am sure the same goes for any black people of the same era. Heck, I find it a little shocking as a gen Xer.
So people telling stories about they grandma or Mom would have never permitted thus and such is not a black thing, it's a generational thing. And, IDK about all y'all, but over the years I found out some things these supposedly pious people did. Just because they preach one thing doesn't mean they practice it or never strayed.
(I'm including commentary about some other posts in my reply to you)
Like I said before, black and white today, in America, are basically the same. That is why I said that black people in America, today, are white culturally. You pointing out that things that are supposed to be "what black people do" are things that "white people do" or what "Southern people do" speaks to that. Some have even suggested that "black culture" is southern white redneck culture. That is where we learned to be Americans....from southern white rednecks who were interacting with us through most of our history in the South.
There is not really a "black culture" in America. It's southern white culture. However, up North, its seen as "black culture" because its different from the culture of Northern whites. I think what defines black people in America, besides our color, is the way we express white culture. We speak English......but you can nearly always tell when its a black person speaking. We do what white people do....and have done, we just do it with a different flavor.
We learned culture in America from being around oppressive whites and poor whites in the south. We are WHITE culturally in America.
Like I said before, black and white today, in America, are basically the same. That is why I said that black people in America, today, are white culturally. You pointing out that things that are supposed to be "what black people do" are things that "white people do" or what "Southern people do" speaks to that. Some have even suggested that "black culture" is southern white redneck culture. That is where we learned to be Americans....from southern white rednecks who were interacting with us through most of our history in the South.
There is not really a "black culture" in America. It's southern white culture. However, up North, its seen as "black culture" because its different from the culture of Northern whites. I think what defines black people in America, besides our color, is the way we express white culture. We speak English......but you can nearly always tell when its a black person speaking. We do what white people do....and have done, we just do it with a different flavor.
We learned culture in America from being around oppressive whites and poor whites in the south. We are WHITE culturally in America.
Going back and watching these old black and whites, the sleeping in separate beds...never really was my focus but it is funny now when you watch these as an adult. The most recent example of the husband/wife sleeping in separate beds situation I've seen on Television is "The Crown" on Netflix. I will admit that I do find it strange.
Thinking about those old Black and White shows, the main focus for me was how people dressed. Men wore suits all the time. I never thought men and women sleeping in separate beds. But then again, it's also a generation thing. We grew up in the 90s and 2000s. We had other shows to counteract that.
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Like GM I grew up on Nickelodeon. As a kid when I had crushes, likewise, it didn't weird me out to have white crushes or black crushes. However once puberty hit, the former was kind of a "hush huh" or "you can marry one but you better not bring them here" type of situation.
One of the hallmarks of shows from those days was this: Not an especially representation of Black characters. Adventures of Pete and Pete, no Black characters. Clarissa Explains It All, no Black characters, except for maybe on of Clarissa's friends. Secret World of Alex Mack had two Black characters, the main Black character was a male, Ray, the best friend of Alex. I had a crush on Larissa Oleynik as a kid. And when you have a show where a Black male and White female being good friends, or other shows where that dynamic exists (like Ghostwriter, Gullah Gullah Island, etc), it's no big deal. It still didn't weird me out in high school. But there was a line i knew to be careful of. For me, it wasn't explicitly "don't bring them home". It was implicitly "be careful, watch who you deal with". I had a relatively high amount of White female friends. At the same time, I also knew there were some girls who I could not date. It didn't matter because most females, Black or White, weren't into me like that.
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Granted, at the age of 32 (going on 33, I'll be 33 in March), I'm still not married nor do I have any children. TODAY, I would say that I would LIKE a black spouse as today that's probably whom I would click with the most. At the same time, I was never opposed to IR dating/marriage like some of my elder family members.
I'm 11 months older than you. I turn 34 this April. I have no spouse, no girlfriend, nothing. I'm as bachelor as they come. At this point, I don't care who ends up becoming my future wife. I've found that there are alot of women I don't click with. As I get older, there are fewer single women, most certainly none in the church I go to (I'm not there to look for women though). The few women I see around me either..
1) Drink heavily or are still in party 'til 2am mode.
2) Have kids.
3) Have been ran through by so many different men and could likely be jaded.
I've never been opposed to interracial dating. However, we live in a society that still has some hangups about it, especially if Black males are involved, and especially in parts of the South.
Meh...I’m here nor there about it. That said, the hyper sexualization of black males has its pluses and minuses. I see it as a wash overall.
Besides, I see the American black male as a different species when it comes to this topic. Black men from Africa tend to be a lot more humble, seeing as how they still have their culture.
African American males come out of Southern white culture, which is the root of all the swaggering machismo and hyper sexualization that our reputation implies.
It’s a very complicated issue.
It's something I'm not thrilled about at all. Black males being hypersexualized and fetishezed isn't thrilling to me. Being a Black male who has never really fit in to any of the stereotypes, it's a disturbing thing to be thought of as nothing more than a stereotype. It's one thing to have one's preferences, but fetishizing, I don't like it. I just want to be myself and be taken as I am.
This is where I see Black male sexuality. Black males are either fetishized, feared, or both. Why else where there so many laws against interracial marriage? They were mainly aimed at Black males. I've never heard of any case where a Black woman was lynched for having sexual relations with a White man. However, many Black men have been lynched for having anything to do with White women outside of the formalities.
I know all about that Southern white culture. I grew up in an area with alot of rednecks. Some of that same swagger and machismo, as well as violence, that I've seen from some Black American males, I've seen it out of some Southern White males too. I've been on the receiving end of some of that violence. I've read about some of that violence in Thomas Sowell's Black Rednecks And White Liberals.
You do always make that distinction but not everyone does. Read the post below yours. It's a racist rant White people are dirty and nasty and when black people started also being messy or doing freaky things it was the white people's influence.
As an aside, often people white or black encourage bare feet when they are growing especially for health of the foot, not a dirty nasty habit, but the uninformed racist rant would have it seem otherwise.
White girls are also taught not to do unladylike things and nevermind, there is no point in countering a racist rant.
Back to your post, I have not slept with enough men to determine whether black penises are larger than white men's on average. There have been studies about it, though. And anecdotally, black men have said to white women that I know in advance like hey, if you're thinking I have a giant penis, I don't. They don't want the woman to get let down. Maybe they had wondered if that was the reason the white woman wanted to sleep with them to begin with.
I don't have a problem in the least accepting whether white people are worse at anything. That I and other white people insist that we are superior simply is not so. Obviously some white people feel that way but most do not. Some black people like that they are superior as well.
All I was saying regarding sexuality is there is no genetic or cultural reasoning for EITHER 'race' to be more or less 'freaky' in bed. None. You have white people going around thinking black people are more freaky and the other way around and my personal opinion is that the % of 'freak' or kink or whatever is likely the same in both groups.
I would not, but if I did go out to pick up a man for sex and I was looking for kinky sex, it would not occur to me at all to base my decision on who to pick up based on race.
Or the other way around. Wanting to date a man I want to be sure is not into kink, I would never think that race is going to play into the likelihood either way. Or fidelity. Or any quality good or bad, frankly. I know fine upstanding black people and low class scumbag white people and the other way around. If if am to be anecdotal, I have seen all types in different races in my life to feel like we just are all basically the same - human.
Any differences between us have to do with our individualized life experiences, not the color of our skin, and not a collective due to culture. Unless we're talking about superficial things like type of music, manner of dress perhaps, dialect/lingo.
Note you initially addressed me and you referred to me in your post. If you want to ask me something in particular about what I said, then do so. Don't be so afraid I guess.
My "rant" was specifically about my elders and how those things that you mentioned fall in line with the things my elders told me about white people. I'm sure (because I've heard it directly from the parents especially of my white friends/family) that many white people have similar prejudices and racist beliefs about black people.
I personally believe that black and white people are pretty much the same, especially in regards to sexual activities and IMO this is probably the main difference I have with Indentured Servant. I totally agree with you in regards to the blue.
However, there were behaviors and activities that back in the day especially white people were more apt to do where I live versus black people. Not all of them are negative or positive. It depends on one's culture in your ethno-community and your families.
It’s funny, but white people on TV didn’t even seem real to me. They certainly weren’t like any white people I knew personally growing up in Scottsdale. That’s one of the benefits of growing up black in an overwhelmingly white town; you have a much clearer picture of white people than the one the media creates. A lot of black (and Hispanic) folks I met from other places seemed to buy into the “white man’s ice is colder” mentality. I never thought white folks were superior in any way. I thank my father for that.
As for white girls, naturally I had relationships with them because they were the majority of females in the pool. But for the life of me, I never could understand why society held them up to this standard of beauty and womanhood. In fact, it wasn’t until I moved to Europe that I began to see white women on the same level aesthetically as Hispanic and black women. The European whites woman has this intangible quality that I just can’t put my finger on, but it’s very intoxicating when you encounter it. Especially British, French and Italian girls. In fact, black girls in Europe are just as tantalizing. Maybe it’s because they’re so much more worldly and substantive than American women typically are.
ITA with the bold.
Growing up where I did around a lot of whites reinforced to me that none of them are superior to me. I think that is what my elders especially tried to instill in me but when you grow up around a lot of white people, you realize this is the case 100% and is true.
FWIW my main issue with metro Atlanta was the proliferation of the idea that whites were better than black people - that they have better schools, better neighborhoods, better homes, better families, etc. That was the reason many black people gave for wanting to live in certain areas or their kids to attend certain schools. ETA: and for green_mariner, I honestly feel this is at play with a lot of your own experiences. I personally would never send my children to a school in which they would be an extreme minority because I feel it is dangerous to their developing psyches as African American children. And FWIW I don't believe that white families should send their kids to homogenously black schools either for the same reasons. Kids can be cruel, and teachers/administrators especially can be cruel. IMO oftentimes black parents are aching so much to be around white people to be better or a trailblazer that they ignore the fact that those are dangerous situations for their children.
It was and still is a foreign concept to me that being around white people is "better." All people have good and bad qualities and IMO many black people especially buy into an inferior view of us demographically.
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