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Yep, still today. It is pretty weird to me (and to my brother). He says it makes him uncomfortable. It's at his wife's grandmother's house and she's got to be in her 90s. So maybe it's a holdover from the past.
It must be but for some it is passed on to the next generation, maybe not the men eat first but the rest.
Another time we had to go up there for a funeral. We were talking to the people more our age and talking about good places to eat. One of the girls who married into the family said "my husband refuses to go to restaurants". I was surprised they never go out on an occasion here and there instead of her having to cook.
Yep, still today. It is pretty weird to me (and to my brother). He says it makes him uncomfortable. It's at his wife's grandmother's house and she's got to be in her 90s. So maybe it's a holdover from the past.
Years ago DH said "I don't understand the big deal about women liking to go out to dinner". It's simple, someone else cooks dinner, and someone else cleans up and best is the women get to enjoy the company they are in instead of waiting on them". Whew, with DH growing up in a very 50's household that should have been my first que lol. He understood my reasoning and agreed. He'll say let's go out to dinner and many times I'll say nah. I won't even go for holidays because who wants to fight the crowd. It's dumb. It's because I know we can go to dinner anytime.
My sister-in-law's family does the same (with the eating: men first, then women, then children). My brother says it's really weird to him as it's the only place he's ever seen this done.
My mil takes it a step further by serving the children before the women. I’m mean, whatever, it’s her house her rules... but the more children that get added to the family, the longer it takes for me to get a plate, lol. Me, personally, I set up a buffet table; make your own damn plate.
Women fought for equality because the special treatment they were getting was that they had fewer rights than men. That's not victim mentality. That's the fact that led to women fighting for the right to vote, fighting for the right to make legal decisions for themselves, fighting for equal pay in the workplace. Wanting to be treated fairly and equitably is not a desire for special treatment. It's for the special treatment to end.
Absolutely!
I guess to some who are accustomed to male privilege, equality feels like oppression.
Quote:
Originally Posted by corpgypsy
Were the 50s really THAT bad for women?
The 1950's were the catalyst for the much needed second phase of the Women's Rights' Movement of the 1960's.
Those of us who were "girls" and young women in the 50's witnessed the limitations on the adult lives of our mothers and aunts and friends' moms. As well as seeing, we felt their lesser rights, marginal opportunities and inferior personal freedoms. We ourselves, as 1950's school-age/ teen-age or young women, experienced the gender inequalities of the 1950s. They were real.
To answer the question posed in the OP. Yes, that is bad.
Many would have us believe that fixing or moving to eliminate something that is "bad" is the wrongdoing. That is absurd! Fixing a wrong is not the wrong. Make no mistake, the movement to improve a 1950's woman's life experience, to make it more similar to that of a man's opportunities and personal freedoms, was not what was bad.
Socioeconomically, culturally and legally, a female in the 1950's experienced a very different life from that of her male counterparts, especially in the areas of politics, employment, family and sexuality.
Call it what you want--- Women's Rights' Activism, Women's Liberation Movement or Feminism ---women in the 1960's were addressing and attempting to right the unequitable life experience of the 1950's woman, because it was "THAT bad".
Agreed. The answer to the OP question is yes. And I agree with the above ^^^. Believing that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities is feminism.
Father of daughters, husband of female, son of a woman, and a feminist, am I.
I guess to some who are accustomed to male privilege, equality feels like oppression.
Agreed. The answer to the OP question is yes. And I agree with the above ^^^. Believing that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities is feminism.
Father of daughters, husband of female, son of a woman, and a feminist, am I.
First and foremost feminism is a political movement, one that is associated with the far left.
It uses terms such as toxic masculinity, rape culture amomg other things to provide examples of "typical male behaviour" and generally writes a patriarchal system as of as oppressive, despite the many good things it brings to the world.
In the female equivalents of theses terms were just as widely circulated and used as the male equivalents, we would have equality, but no they would be considered sexist.
Its this kind of thing where the girl=good and boy = bad type, type toughs come from.
Take from a guy who stays at home and looks after the kids while my wife works full time. There is a massive matriarch in virtually anything to do with the care of young children, yet you seem to almost never hear anything from the feminist movement about it, despite the fact it would be firmly in there own interests to dismantle it.
Would i want my daughter to achieve everything in life she wishes, of course I would! I dare say you would be hard pressed to find a father who would not. However I would never call myself a feminist, as the movement exists in it current form.
Last edited by danielsa1775; 05-12-2020 at 05:44 PM..
Take from a guy who stays at home and looks after the kids while my wife works full time. There is a massive matriarch in virtually anything to do with the care of young children, yet you seem to almost never hear anything from the feminist movement about it, despite the fact it would be firmly in there own interests to dismantle it.
Would i want my daughter to achieve everything in life she wishes, of course I would! I dare say you would be hard pressed to find a father who would not. However I would never call myself a feminist, as the movement exists in it current form.
If I understand you correctly I have said and agree that the feminist movement was about equality in the work place but dropped the ball when it both men and women say they want equality for women but at home life those same people fall back into the 50's inequality.
And no, I would never call myself a feminist in todays form, wearing pink hats was pathetic and an embarrassment for women.
If I understand you correctly I have said and agree that the feminist movement was about equality in the work place but dropped the ball when it both men and women say they want equality for women but at home life those same people fall back into the 50's inequality.
And no, I would never call myself a feminist in todays form, wearing pink hats was pathetic and an embarrassment for women.
I tend to disagree that the current home/work life balance is as one sided as some people like make it out to be. Obviously men and women are different, and we are still very influenced by what is traditionally considered to be gender roles.
This in my opinion also influences our definition of "work", obviously when comparing paid vs unpaid domestic work we are talking about something that is easily measurable (We have contracts, opening hours and keep time sheets etc) vs a rather ambiguous term which is not so easily measurable.
As previously stated, there is no way in the world i would consider things such as cooking and playing the kids to be "work". That is stress relief away from the real work.
As a point when we has our last census here in Australia, i recall an article written by a feminist, about the laziest (or those who did the least domestic work) men by post (ZIP) code. Only for her to find out that most of the post codes full of "lazy" men were dominated by prisons, military establishments, and mining camps. In the major military facility examined, it actually found that the women in the facility actually reported doing way more domestic work than the men, despite the fact they were living side by side doing exactly the same thing. As such the men simply considered making your bed etc as part of the job, women though of it as separate, you would have to question why this would be the case? I believe it has a lot to do with the way both sexes interpret things differently.
Certainly the idea of a guy who sits down and does nothing while his full time working spouse comes home and does all the cooking etc, is completely foreign to me. I just don't understand how such a relationship could even exist. Not saying it does not happen, but is it normal? I highly doubt it.
Certainly the idea of a guy who sits down and does nothing while his full time working spouse comes home and does all the cooking etc, is completely foreign to me. I just don't understand how such a relationship could even exist. Not saying it does not happen, but is it normal? I highly doubt it.
A wife working FT, then cooking, cleaning, ...doing the majority of work at home does exist even today. That is one of the reasons why women leave the marriage. No one wants to feel taken advantage of.
You must have missed the thread about a widower wondering why women have no interest in remarrying. If I recall correctly it was in the retirement section. If you think I have strong opinions about this, you haven't read anything until you've read the responses from other women on that thread.
I tend to disagree that the current home/work life balance is as one sided as some people like make it out to be. Obviously men and women are different, and we are still very influenced by what is traditionally considered to be gender roles.
This in my opinion also influences our definition of "work", obviously when comparing paid vs unpaid domestic work we are talking about something that is easily measurable (We have contracts, opening hours and keep time sheets etc) vs a rather ambiguous term which is not so easily measurable.
As previously stated, there is no way in the world i would consider things such as cooking and playing the kids to be "work". That is stress relief away from the real work.
danielsa1775, if you are a stay at home you might want to think about her retirement years and how SS will effect you. I'd be sure she is insured well if something happens to her before you. https://www.nasi.org/learn/socialsec...idowed-spouses.
During the 2012 election Hillary mentioned older women in poverty because they lost income and the husband didn't buy enough insurance to replace it.
A wife working FT, then cooking, cleaning, ...doing the majority of work at home does exist even today. That is one of the reasons why women leave the marriage. No one wants to feel taken advantage of.
You must have missed the thread about a widower wondering why women have no interest in remarrying. If I recall correctly it was in the retirement section. If you think I have strong opinions about this, you haven't read anything until you've read the responses from other women on that thread.
I did not say it does not exist, I said it was not normal. Men also get taken advantage of and leave marriages for exactly the same reason, it is not a female issue.
If my wife were to ever die, there is no way in the world i would remarry either.
Last edited by danielsa1775; 05-12-2020 at 09:28 PM..
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