NYT: The problem with American public education is white parents (premium, solutions)
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I listened to the podcast. I don't blame the parents for sending their kids to the best schools they can. I blame them for expecting other parents NOT to, while they send their own kids to better schools.
It is a parent's primary job to give their children the best chances in life that they can. To deviate from that would be unnatural. Or at least, it should be, and if it isn't, I think there is something wrong with you as a parent.
I'm a mom of 3 and a librarian by profession who worked in the very busy public library of a very affluent suburb.
We routinely dealt with narcisstic, hyper-competitive, rude, immature parents who were equal parts controlling and coddling with their kids -- who should have been doing more things for themselves.
These parents would come to the library looking for materials for their high schoolers' school assignments. Occasionally, the kids would be with their parents, but even when they were, they were completely checked out, looking at their phones, while the parents ran the show.
They would insist their children were "gifted" (about 75% of the kids were "gifted," apparently. An incredible statistic) and told anyone who'd listen that their high school freshman child, for example, reads at a senior level, and dictated to the librarians what we selected for their child. The kids, meanwhile, if they were even present and engaged, often look weary, mortified, pained. I would, too, if I had to live with such a narcissist (worth noting, too, that the mothers were often far worse than the fathers).
Routinely, there were parents who did their kids assignments for them. One mom came in one day, pulled books from the stacks, and sat at a desk writing notes and photocopying for her 11-grade son's homework assignment. Another mom sat in one of the computer labs writing her college-aged daughter's assignment for her, because the daughter "leaves everything to the last minute, so I have to make sure things get done."
I won't even get into the controlling, insufferable Queen Bee PTA moms who basically lived at my kids' school and used their positions to pull strings for their kids and ensure preferential treatment.
I know this might all seem anecdotal, but these are merely examples of standard behavior on the part of the parents. What too many of these parents did was teach their kids that it was okay to sit back and let someone else do their work for them, and that it was okay to bribe, cheat, and lie in order to get ahead. "Win" at any and all costs.
Is this all okay if it's cloaked in the "I'm just trying to give my child the best chances in life as I can" claim? There is nothing "natural" about it. And, if by NOT doing these things means I am an "unnatural" parent, so be it.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 07-26-2020 at 08:57 AM..
I'm reading through this thread, and it appears to me that no one at all listened to the 3 minute podcast in the OP, just guessed what might be contained in that 3 minute link.
I'm a mom of 3 and a librarian by profession who worked in the very busy public library of a very affluent suburb.
We routinely dealt with narcisstic, hyper-competitive, rude, immature parents who were equal parts controlling and coddling with their kids -- who should have been doingore things for themselves.
These parents would come to the library looking for materials for their high schoolers' school assignments. Occasionally, the kids would be with their parents, but even when they were, they were completely checked out, looking at their phones, while the parents ran the show.
They would insist their children were "gifted" (about 75% of the kids were "gifted," apparently. An incredible statistic) and told anyone who'd listen that their high school freshman child, for example, reads at a senior level and dictated to the librarians what we selected for their child. The kids, meanwhile, if they were even present and engaged, often look weary, mortified, pained. I would, too, if I had to live with such a narcissist (worth noting, too, that the mothers were often far worse than the fathers).
Routinely, there were parents who did their kids assignments for them. One mom came in one day, pulled books from the stacks, and sat at a desk writing notes and photocopying for her 11-grade son's homework assignment. Another mom sat in one of the computer labs writing her college-aged daughter's assignment for her, because the daughter "leaves everything to the last minute, so I have to make sure things get done."
I won't even get into the controlling, insufferable Queen Bee PTA moms who basically lived at my kids' school and used their positions to pull strings for their kids and ensure preferential treatment.
I know this might all seem anecdotal, but these are merely examples of standard behavior on the part of the parents. What too many of these parents did was teach their kids that it was okay to sit back and let someone else do their work for them, and that it was okay to bribe, cheat, and lie in order to get ahead. "Win" at any and all costs.
Is this all okay if it's cloaked in the "I'm just trying to give my child the best chances in life as I can" claim? There is nothing "natural" about it. And, if by NOT doing these things means I am an "unnatural" parent, so be it.
Bribing, cheating and lying to get their kids ahead is only cheating their own kids. A lot of the things you are mentioning tells me that those particular parents are misguided in what they think will give their kids the best chances in life. Some of the other things you mentioned, I don't have a problem with.
It is really very simple. In the white culture parents in general just care more about their kids. Reason why more likely to have another child when they have a hard time providing for the first one.
What they want is a magic pill that makes up for having twice as many kids with one less parent.
And the black culture they are less likely to follow any rules.
Asians do better in school. Is that Asian privilege?
Cultures are different. To many are trying to make the black culture work as well as other productive and advanced cultures.
When I moved to my area. one city had the top rated schools in the state. But as the norm, blacks did not perform as well. Started with the first excuse that blacks learn different and needed to be taught by blacks teachers.
Over the years blacks became the majority in the city. So then more black teachers and school run by blacks.
Well then black students did even worse.
Next excuse was school funding. Since once a city becomes majority black. There are not enough people contributing to the tax base. Consuming more services than what they contribute.
So state steps in with funding. After 10 years with the highest funding per student in the state. It is now the 2 nd worse preforming in the state.
Like with other problems. One excuse after another and never want to take any responsibility for any problem.
So things can never change. Compared to other cultures that try to correct any problems and advance.
It was the VERY PARENTS who insisted the school not be built next to the projects, because they wanted their children to mix with those students, who when push came to shove, took their kids out of that school after their kids were zoned to go to school with the kids from the projects.
They weren't nice white parents saying things that were politically-correct, they were deranged psychopaths trying to torture other people's children who would have otherwise been their children's competitors.
“Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.”
-Joe Biden
I wasn’t referring to “poor” minorities. What about kids of color that far out achieve whites as a group? Indian kids do way better than whites kids on the average.
I wasn’t referring to “poor” minorities. What about kids of color that far out achieve whites as a group? Indian kids do way better than whites kids on the average.
I knew what you were talking about. That is exactly what makes Joe Biden's statement so funny.
At least, to me.
He was saying you are either white, or you are poor.
I knew what you were talking about. That is exactly what makes Joe Biden's statement so funny.
At least, to me.
He was saying you are either white, or you are poor.
Yep: the media keeps pushing the rich White vs. poor Black narrative but ignores everything that doesn’t fit the bill. Why don’t think talk about White Antifa rioters or how Asians utilize supplemental online math programs to keep their kids learning more at home than they were at school?
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