Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-22-2022, 02:08 PM
 
1,655 posts, read 775,737 times
Reputation: 2042

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
No you didnt say it soley occur because men havent been told it was wrong, as if they need to be told to know this, you claim rape has decreased do to educating men that rape is wrong.
This was not giving an example of something that has always happened yet isn’t simply dismissed by society as…something that has always happened. You are equating the fact that people having sex without proper birth control has been going on for a while with rape.

We will just have to agree to disagree that the vast majority of those that know they cant afford a child without government assistance decide not to have one. I think the vast majority who dont want a child decide not to have one. A large portion of those that know they cant afford but want a child have one using government assistance.
My original statement:

Quote:
Women and children being raped has been going on a while too…but nowadays we are more educated about it…same with knowing how babies are made and how to prevent it.
This was simply to say that society as whole is more educated/aware/concerned about many societal problems that have always occurred. We don’t dismiss rape as just some old thing that has always happened. By becoming more educated and concerned about rape, we have given people the opportunity to openly discuss it and made efforts to help victims not feel so alone/ashamed. And yes, through this open discussion people have become more educated about rape.

Just the other day I watched an episode of Dr Phil where a BF described an incident where his GF passed out drunk and he brought her home — while in bed he thought she was trying to cuddle him so he proceeded to have sex with her. He thought nothing of it. Dr. Phil proceeded to educate him on why this constituted rape. Now of course not all rape follows this narrow example, but that doesn’t mean efforts to educate people haven’t been effective even if society as a whole still has rape going on. Who knows how common rape would be if no efforts were made.

People have also been having sex without proper birth control for a while but it is also something society hasn’t dismissed as something that has just always happened. Compare efforts made toward sex educated in 2022 to sex education hundreds of years ago.

I said that those who decide not to have a child because they realize they can’t afford one — don’t have one by taking the proper precautions. Pregnancy isn’t something totally out of one’s control. Those that know they can’t afford one but don’t take proper precautions are essentially wanting a child.

Last edited by GoAmericaGo; 02-22-2022 at 02:20 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-22-2022, 02:18 PM
 
8,234 posts, read 3,492,716 times
Reputation: 5682
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
Because the moms are letting them.

Super simple.

Women hold all the cards. They determine when. They determine with who.

When they chose idiot deadbeats, and have sex with 10 different men, they are choosing their children's fathers poorly without a thought to what it will do to a child's life. They are creating a life without a father.

That's on the mom.

When women get their chit together society will change. It could change within 1 generation. I'm absolutely convinced of that.

Men need to be responsible dads. I absolutely agree. And they are failing. I agree there, too.

But I have no sympathy for a woman who has 3 kids with 4 fathers. None.

But women hold all the cards. They need to start playing them better. They can change this.
I have never held any cards. I was a child. I said no. The thing did it anyway. Society took the thing's side. I never had any rights in any of it. Society has punished me my entire adult life for what other people chose for me and continuously blamed me for "making poor choices" and other such things. I had my entire future wiped out by the choices of other people and had no power to stop it. I have never even had the opportunity to choose anyone. No man has ever been interested in a woman who had a child from one of them except for one of them. I hadn't wanted to be with one of them in the first place. So, I have been forced to live for decades without even basic companionship. I will die without ever experiencing having anyone care about me. I am tired of the lie that women have all of the control.

I was rare. I was in a tough situation and chose life for an innocent person. Society has punished me for that as well, even pro-lifers. That's the only choice I made in regards to the situation. I chose not to kill an innocent child and I have had it held against me. Not many people I have encountered that claim to be pro-life actually hold to those ideals when faced with a hard situation. I did.

I was raised in a very strict religious setting. I was taught that you were to be married to have sex. Even that choice was taken from me.

I didn't want to be on welfare when I was a single parent. I was denied employment. Society allowed all of that to happen so society should have to pay for it. Those who allowed it to happen to me should be more culpable than I am. I have been the one forced to live with it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2022, 02:20 PM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
If I as a woman am personally responsible for having unprotected sex with a guy who has 3 other kids with 2 other women, he is still single, has no job, and is not paying ANY child support to the other 2 women that's HIS fault I got pregnant?

You realize that is exactly what you are saying.
You need to accept that not all or even most of women who rely on government assistance for anything had unprotected sex with some guy who has 3 other kids with 2 other women.

Women often, as far as Medicaid births, have a mate, are in a relationship and they choose not to marry in order to get medical expenses paid for.
Women on assistance are often divorced, had been in a good marriage to a good man for years or decades, planned their children and things went south. Women on assistance are often in a monogamous relationship with a decent man, no prior kids, job and situations change. Women on assistance often have the baby's father in the picture but they dont marry so they can get assistance.

Please stop pointing fingers and placing blame. Everyone holds responsibility for their own actions and choices that includes men. When it comes to sex, pregnancy and children both parties have responsibility, that includes men. Stop acting like men are irresponsible little children free from accountability. Perhaps attitudes like yours is why we have single mothers and Medicaid births.

I raised two sons and partially raised 2 grandsons and I taught them no matter if a woman is willing to have unprotected sex with you, no matter that she is ultimately responsible for using BC, YOU are responsible for yourself, your decisions, your actions and YOU are responsible for the consequences of those actions. If you have sex and a pregnancy occurs YOU are equally responsible for that child coming into this world, equally responsible for the love and care and parenting and financial responsibilities.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2022, 02:26 PM
 
1,655 posts, read 775,737 times
Reputation: 2042
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
You need to accept that not all or even most of women who rely on government assistance for anything had unprotected sex with some guy who has 3 other kids with 2 other women.

Women often, as far as Medicaid births, have a mate, are in a relationship and they choose not to marry in order to get medical expenses paid for.
Women on assistance are often divorced, had been in a good marriage to a good man for years or decades, planned their children and things went south. Women on assistance are often in a monogamous relationship with a decent man, no prior kids, job and situations change. Women on assistance often have the baby's father in the picture but they dont marry so they can get assistance.

Please stop pointing fingers and placing blame. Everyone holds responsibility for their own actions and choices that includes men. When it comes to sex, pregnancy and children both parties have responsibility, that includes men. Stop acting like men are irresponsible little children free from accountability. Perhaps attitudes like yours is why we have single mothers and Medicaid births.

I raised two sons and partially raised 2 grandsons and I taught them no matter if a woman is willing to have unprotected sex with you, no matter that she is ultimately responsible for using BC, YOU are responsible for yourself, your decisions, your actions and YOU are responsible for the consequences of those actions. If you have sex and a pregnancy occurs YOU are equally responsible for that child coming into this world, equally responsible for the love and care and parenting and financial responsibilities.
Not saying you’re wrong but can you direct us toward some statistics that breakdown and describe the relationship status of women on Medicaid/assistance?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2022, 02:28 PM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo View Post
My original statement:



This was simply to say that society as whole is more educated/aware/concerned about many societal problems that have always occurred. We don’t dismiss rape as just some old thing that has always happened. By becoming more educated and concerned about rape, we have given people the opportunity to openly discuss it and made efforts to help victims not feel so alone/ashamed. And yes, through this open discussion people have become more educated about rape.

Just the other day I watched an episode of Dr Phil where a BF described an incident where his GF passed out drunk and he brought her home — while in bed he thought she was trying to cuddle him so he proceeded to have sex with her. He thought nothing of it. Dr. Phil proceeded to educate him on why this constituted rape. Now of course not all rape follows this narrow example, but that doesn’t mean efforts to educate people haven’t been effective even if society as a whole still has rape going on. Who knows how common rape would be if no efforts were made.

People have also been having sex without proper birth control for a while but it is also something society hasn’t dismissed as something that has just always happened. Compare efforts made toward sex educated in 2022 to sex education hundreds of years ago.

I said that those who decide not to have a child because they realize they can’t afford one — don’t have one by taking the proper precautions. Pregnancy isn’t something totally out of one’s control. Those that know they can’t afford one but don’t take proper precautions are essentially wanting a child.
Back peddle much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2022, 02:29 PM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo View Post
Not saying you’re wrong but can you direct us toward some statistics that breakdown and describe the relationship status of women on Medicaid/assistance?
You can search it yourself but I doubt there is a category I have a mate but we dont want to pay for it ourselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2022, 02:31 PM
 
1,655 posts, read 775,737 times
Reputation: 2042
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Back peddle much.
No — just willing to clearly illustrate the meaning of my words for those that take a little more time to understand what I’m saying.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2022, 02:33 PM
 
1,655 posts, read 775,737 times
Reputation: 2042
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
You can search it yourself but I doubt there is a category I have a mate but we dont want to pay for it ourselves.
I would like to see those statistics. If it’s even available I’d like to know how long the relationships have been a monogamous relationship and how long these women are with the father of the child on average after the child is born.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2022, 03:19 PM
 
1,655 posts, read 775,737 times
Reputation: 2042
We all hear about a 50% divorce rate, but I wonder what the “divorce rate” is for couples who don’t get married because it allows them to qualify for more government assistance? 80% or higher?

Sure, at the end of the day marriage is just a piece of paper but I think people are MUCH more willing to try everything to make it work when legally bound by children AND marriage. So essentially having a child without the marriage is taking short term gains with huge long term risks. Perhaps a risk those of low income are more willing to take.

I have a friend from the hood and this is how it went for her….she was with her first man for years before kids and then they had two back to back. Not long after he disappears. But she’s ok because they weren’t married and she had good government assistance. Then she gets tired of being alone raising kids and finds a new man. Things are good for a year or so and then she gets pregnant. Not long after the baby he starts beating on her. But she loves him and chases after him until he ends up in prison for something unrelated. Now she has 3 kids with two different dads. Well…by this point she’s not even 30 and still wants someone but only the craziest of crazy dudes want a woman on assistance with 3 kids for the long term. Anyway, she does find a man and has baby #4 but as you could probably guess he doesn’t stick around either. Now she’s 35 with 4 kids by 3 different dads. She did LOVE the recent government checks sent out to people with kids — I think she got $10k that she bought a car with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-22-2022, 03:28 PM
 
Location: North Pacific
15,754 posts, read 7,594,663 times
Reputation: 2576
Marriage is overrated --- and at the 1.79 birth rate for the u.s. at least someone is having babies.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:57 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top