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Old 05-05-2022, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,636,835 times
Reputation: 73585

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sholomar View Post
Sympathy definitely helps these men more than ridicule. Good post. Though I am no longer "that man" I know what they go through, and battling those demons has left me with a greater understanding of human psychology and our nature as well, which is why I tend to bring it up a lot here, things like rewarding bad behavior, pavlonian conditioning, and the like.

For me as an introvert relationships are a double edged sword. I enjoy companionship but at this point I'm so wired to enjoy my independence that having to keep in touch with someone every couple hours and check in on them... I find myself wanting no contact with anyone and no responsibility towards anyone but myself, to keep working on what I'm working on. Definitely give and take. Chuckle.

As for the above question, I'd say $150-250/hour is a reasonable rate for a prostitute... I've never used one but I've heard it's far more expensive then that, which rules out a cheapskate like me from partaking. I've also never been to nor ever plan to go to a strip club.
You just need another introvert.

DH and are retired, and frequently see each other a couple times during the day...... and we are on the same property.

We are both prone to OCD mode when we are on a project we like. I'm the worst and if I'm in a learning curve.... "do not talk to me, you are interrupting a very active conversation in my head."

Just us? Never mind then.
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Old 05-05-2022, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Flyover part of Virginia
4,230 posts, read 2,440,329 times
Reputation: 5065
Quote:
Originally Posted by sholomar View Post
Sympathy definitely helps these men more than ridicule. Good post. Though I am no longer "that man" I know what they go through, and battling those demons has left me with a greater understanding of human psychology and our nature as well, which is why I tend to bring it up a lot here, things like rewarding bad behavior, pavlonian conditioning, and the like.

For me as an introvert relationships are a double edged sword. I enjoy companionship but at this point I'm so wired to enjoy my independence that having to keep in touch with someone every couple hours and check in on them... I find myself wanting no contact with anyone and no responsibility towards anyone but myself, to keep working on what I'm working on. Definitely give and take. Chuckle.

As for the above question, I'd say $150-250/hour is a reasonable rate for a prostitute... I've never used one but I've heard it's far more expensive then that, which rules out a cheapskate like me from partaking. I've also never been to nor ever plan to go to a strip club.
I absolutely despise strip clubs. As for the "reasonable rate" of prostitution, I don't know, whatever a free, open, and legal market will bear really. $250/hr though?.... I'm pretty sure most surgeons don't even get paid that much. And prostitution requires no skill, talent, or education whatsoever. Even the dumbest and most of simple beasts know how to have sex.
 
Old 05-05-2022, 02:39 PM
 
14,946 posts, read 8,558,182 times
Reputation: 7363
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Photog View Post
I'm there. I am 52, divorced and disabled. I miss companionship and intimacy. Intimacy like a touch on the shoulder or holding hands or lying in bed talking to my SO. I know it is not happening again for me and I am mostly OK with that. I do not blame women or society for the things I find lacking in myself. I think that is where I am different from these younger dudes complaining abut the lack of a sex partner.
I’m 64, and told often that I look 50. And I get 2 or 3 messages per week on this dating site I haven’t been an active member of for 5 years. The majority of them I am not at all interested in, but every once and a while I do get one from very good looking women, and while temping, my heart just isn’t there anymore. This is likely due to the result of my last serious relationship that ended very badly, which took quite a while to recover from, leaving a certain understandable hesitancy as a residual. The other problem is that I find the whole online dating thing to be largely a complete waist of time, and too often showing signs of being another disaster looking for a place to happen, and I’m not playing.

I’m by no means resigned, and remain open to possibilities should they present themselves, but I’m not wallowing in misery if they don’t. The reality is, someone is really going to have to be special to capture my attention, and it’s going to have to be a face to face encounter, which given the infrequent times I go out, drastically reduces the odds of that happening. I have relegated the matter to destiny, and whatever God and I have planned for these golden years of my life.

I have to confess to some of the things I’ve done, or not done, which may have circumvented destiny a time or two. I think a lot of guys have become conditioned to avoiding propositioning women for fear of being seen as creepy, and misinterpreting signals, but I have occasionally missed lay ups. Seriously … only after the fact did it occur to me that what I saw as innocent friendliness, was in fact an invitation, if not an overt proposition.

True story … 3-4 years ago, I was shopping in a department store, and a couple of isles over, in clear sight was this smoking hot blonde, mid 40’s, and dressed to kill. We made eye contact and she smiled, and I of course made nothing of it. Later, as I was standing at the checkout counter, and here she comes, right behind me. I get to the cashier, and she complemented me on the shirt and tie combination I selected. The blonde behind me chimed in with her approval too, saying I have great taste, to which I responded with a very safe compliment back, saying how much of a compliment that is coming from such a lovely woman so beautifully dressed and put together. She responded by saying she had a closet full of nice things, but like always, she is once again all dressed up with no place to go!! (It was a Friday, 6 pm) (as she is maintaining solid eye contact). And what did my dumb ass do? Nothing. Like an idiot, I left the store alone. It didn’t even hit me until I was 2 miles down the road! LOL. Women tend to give subtle signals that are very easy for guys to miss, but sometimes they can be quite direct, and we still don’t get it.

I’m sure she was probably thinking I was either married, or gay. Neither was the case … this baby doll was a 10 all day long, and I was just clueless. And I’m still kicking myself Hahahaha.
 
Old 05-05-2022, 02:45 PM
 
8,093 posts, read 3,420,524 times
Reputation: 5609
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taggerung View Post
No way. Prostitution in the US is sketchy, risky, expensive, shady, illegal, inaccessible, and poor quality.

Most prostitutes in America are mentally ill and/or addicted to drugs. The few that aren't charge a small fortune for their 'services.'
Many of them use drugs to cope with what they are doing while the others do it to afford the drugs. It's not a healthy situation for any of them.
 
Old 05-05-2022, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Humboldt Park, Chicago
3,493 posts, read 3,121,283 times
Reputation: 2583
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Photog View Post
I'm there. I am 52, divorced and disabled. I miss companionship and intimacy. Intimacy like a touch on the shoulder or holding hands or lying in bed talking to my SO. I know it is not happening again for me and I am mostly OK with that. I do not blame women or society for the things I find lacking in myself. I think that is where I am different from these younger dudes complaining abut the lack of a sex partner.
52 is not the end of the road, my friend. I am 55 and met my current gf when I was 50. I don't have any advice, no magic technique for meeting women, or interesting story behind it. I am nothing special to look at and not rich either. She is a bit younger than me (11 years), very attractive and successful. I didn't meet her through a dating app (though if I was single, I would probably not be against checking them out)
I just met her by being out in the world and doing my thing. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time (in fact I was totally fine with the idea of being alone for the rest of my days, like many here) but here I am a few years later in a good loving relationship.

I guess what I'm saying is there's always hope and a lot of it is just putting yourself out there and being open to it.
Don't give up!
(Unless you really want to)
 
Old 05-05-2022, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
3,730 posts, read 1,314,178 times
Reputation: 3486
Eh, it's happening on both sides. I'm a male and turn 34 this year. After two toxic relationships with women who were incredibly insecure, amongst a plethora of other issues, I decided to take a break from pursuing a relationship. I'm focusing on my health, my career, and my hobbies. Having said that, I'm still dating; went on one last week. Sadly she and I were just too different, but you don't know until you try! And despite being too different, she was a lovely women; her path is just too different from mine and she deserves to be with someone who wants similar things. But you're correct, a lot of men these days have gone soft, especially Liberals. They've become these beta-**** males who basically label themselves as feminists.


I'm all for standing up for those who are treated wrong, but a lot of these guys feel the need to "white knight" every woman they see, and it's annoying. As for "simping" you have the definition wrong. These same beta-cucks will label you a simp simply for showing interest in a woman. As a matter of fact, I'll give you an example.


One of the Marvel groups I'm in were discussing the latest episodes of the show Moon Knight. Someone made a post with a collage of the actress May Calamawy who plays Layla, the girlfriend of the main character. He titled it "can we get some appreciation for May and her natural beauty?" The first guy who posted literally wrote: "Jesus, are we really going to start simping every female actress in the MCU?" Like what? I was like wow, we can't even praise someone for being naturally beautiful? So I commented saying exactly that, and pointed out how beautiful her hair is. She's got natural curly hair that just looks amazing.


Well, sure enough, the same guy commented and called me a simp. Another commented saying to relieve myself in the bathroom. A few others defended me and the OP, but it's crazy that this is how it is now. But women are also doing it too. I'm finding it difficult to date because many women my age have the mindset Arya Stark mentioned. And I get it - once upon a time, women were expected to marry, make babies, and tend to the house. It's totally different now, and has been ever since women entered the workforce. And I'm not knocking that by any means. Women should be able to work, have a career, and do whatever men do.


But, another issue is how picky they've become. Many women turn me down for only being 5' 5". I also get turned down for my political views. The other issue is a lot of women seem to think everything a man says is "mansplaining." I see men getting attacked by women constantly all over social media. I've seen women happily post how much better the world would be with more betas, or if men just vanished altogether.


So it's a problem on both sides, and it'll only get worse if we don't fix it soon.
 
Old 05-05-2022, 03:11 PM
 
14,946 posts, read 8,558,182 times
Reputation: 7363
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taggerung View Post
I absolutely despise strip clubs. As for the "reasonable rate" of prostitution, I don't know, whatever a free, open, and legal market will bear really. $250/hr though?.... I'm pretty sure most surgeons don't even get paid that much. And prostitution requires no skill, talent, or education whatsoever. Even the dumbest and most of simple beasts know how to have sex.
Prostitutes are just like anything else for sale. There are levels of luxury and desirability, not unlike automobiles for example. You want a Ferrari, they are available, but only the fortunate few can afford the experience. There are ladies who charge thousands per hour, got $10,000 to spare, you can have the overnight experience with morning smile. You can have the most incredible woman you have ever laid eyes on, if you have the means. Then, there are the Corvettes, Camaros and Mustangs, still very nice, still pretty pricy, but more in range of guys that work for a living. Then you have the budget cars, then used budget cars, and finally you have the beaters that they sell at the buy here pay here lots. All depends on how deep your pockets are.

There are websites you can browse like a menu and order a companion as easy as ordering a pizza. And prices vary, just like everything else in life.
 
Old 05-05-2022, 03:21 PM
 
7,225 posts, read 4,512,020 times
Reputation: 11871
Quote:
Originally Posted by DK736 View Post
I'm finding it difficult to date because many women my age have the mindset Arya Stark mentioned. And I get it - once upon a time, women were expected to marry, make babies, and tend to the house. It's totally different now, and has been ever since women entered the workforce. And I'm not knocking that by any means. Women should be able to work, have a career, and do whatever men do.
Not sure what you are getting at there but I feel for both sides that seem largely ignorant of the facts that relationships were not the way they are now - for 500 years or more prior to now.

I mean they were not *expected* to marry and have babies. They had no choice legally and if they failed they probably would end up in backbreaking labor or poverty and usually killing themselves by age 50. They couldn't own property.

It was find a man, any man, or die.

Quote:
I've seen women happily post how much better the world would be with more betas, or if men just vanished altogether.

Can you really blame them? Women's lives are probably pretty complete. If they have a good job they don't really need too much else. If men were a compliment to women, i.e., took care of the house, took care of the kids, contributed to the relationship... were sane, it would be good thing. But too many of them get married and turn into "men" -- refuse to take care of chores, play video games all day, cheat, are verbally and physically abusive (see Jonny Depp) start "asserting themselves" and the subsequent divorce can ruin lives and mental states.

Yes.. what would it be like for men to vanish -- maybe we need to see.
 
Old 05-05-2022, 03:25 PM
 
4,621 posts, read 2,197,513 times
Reputation: 3952
Quote:
Originally Posted by 0ldsm0bile View Post
its an addiction just like any other addiction. also if it wasn't there I am sure I would have made way more of an effort to find mates.
Pornography in one form or another has been around since Mesopotamia.

Pornography is like television or video games it's just another form of entertainment don't buy into these ideas that it somehow going to corrupt your mind.

Long before I ever had sex for the first time I thought about it and images in my mind and that you can be just as addicted to those as you can to pornography.

Pornography might make achieving orgasm quicker and easier, but it's no replacement for a mate and it's clear that you don't believe that so it's not fulfilling what a mate would fulfill it's just fulfilling one tiny little aspect of that.

Have you spent 7 hours a day looking at it is that a regular occurrence I have spent that much time looking at pornography before but it's not a regular thing.
 
Old 05-05-2022, 03:26 PM
bu2
 
23,974 posts, read 14,766,415 times
Reputation: 12789
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyNTexas View Post
I’m 64, and told often that I look 50. And I get 2 or 3 messages per week on this dating site I haven’t been an active member of for 5 years. The majority of them I am not at all interested in, but every once and a while I do get one from very good looking women, and while temping, my heart just isn’t there anymore. This is likely due to the result of my last serious relationship that ended very badly, which took quite a while to recover from, leaving a certain understandable hesitancy as a residual. The other problem is that I find the whole online dating thing to be largely a complete waist of time, and too often showing signs of being another disaster looking for a place to happen, and I’m not playing.

I’m by no means resigned, and remain open to possibilities should they present themselves, but I’m not wallowing in misery if they don’t. The reality is, someone is really going to have to be special to capture my attention, and it’s going to have to be a face to face encounter, which given the infrequent times I go out, drastically reduces the odds of that happening. I have relegated the matter to destiny, and whatever God and I have planned for these golden years of my life.

I have to confess to some of the things I’ve done, or not done, which may have circumvented destiny a time or two. I think a lot of guys have become conditioned to avoiding propositioning women for fear of being seen as creepy, and misinterpreting signals, but I have occasionally missed lay ups. Seriously … only after the fact did it occur to me that what I saw as innocent friendliness, was in fact an invitation, if not an overt proposition.

True story … 3-4 years ago, I was shopping in a department store, and a couple of isles over, in clear sight was this smoking hot blonde, mid 40’s, and dressed to kill. We made eye contact and she smiled, and I of course made nothing of it. Later, as I was standing at the checkout counter, and here she comes, right behind me. I get to the cashier, and she complemented me on the shirt and tie combination I selected. The blonde behind me chimed in with her approval too, saying I have great taste, to which I responded with a very safe compliment back, saying how much of a compliment that is coming from such a lovely woman so beautifully dressed and put together. She responded by saying she had a closet full of nice things, but like always, she is once again all dressed up with no place to go!! (It was a Friday, 6 pm) (as she is maintaining solid eye contact). And what did my dumb ass do? Nothing. Like an idiot, I left the store alone. It didn’t even hit me until I was 2 miles down the road! LOL. Women tend to give subtle signals that are very easy for guys to miss, but sometimes they can be quite direct, and we still don’t get it.

I’m sure she was probably thinking I was either married, or gay. Neither was the case … this baby doll was a 10 all day long, and I was just clueless. And I’m still kicking myself Hahahaha.
LOL!

Its a good point. You have to be alert to opportunities.

Reminds me of a time I was with a cute, personable former co-worker at a seminar. When she found out it was my birthday, she bought me lunch. It didn't even occur to me until the next day that I should have asked for her number. She had told me where she worked, but I had forgotten.

Sometimes you don't want particular opportunities but you should have seen them. I was at a business lunch with a colleague and a vendor. A total 10 blonde who worked for the vendor out of the blue came and joined us. I didn't understand why my colleague seemed nervous. It was only after I got back to the office I realized the vendor was offering the blonde to "service" the account to encourage overlooking some short-comings of the vendor! He made a bunch of references that made it obvious, but I was oblivious. Something about meeting her on an airport runway. I had absolutely no idea at that moment what was going on!
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