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As I continue to try retraining my limbic system I'm still way, WAY too shy for my own good. It's definitely holding me back. I get around certain women and the nervous system just wants to shut down. Pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone is proving to be difficult here, lol.
At least I accept responsibility for my faults now. You can't change something if you don't acknowledge there is a problem. I always say this when talking about the inner city crime problem when democrats refuse to acknowledge there is a problem, obviously it will never get fixed.
Fix yourself. The dating market is the harshest capitalist free market we have. It's not fair. It's dog eat dog. Most of us here lean at least moderate if not somewhat conservative, and are mostly capitalists, so surely we can take the dating market and apply free market principles and logic here. It's the simple laws of supply and demand. Men have to try harder these days. Cultural mores doesn't give bland, boring, unkempt, lazy, or extremely shy men women handed to them on a platter anymore. You have to work for it.... work on yourself. Personality really is the most important attribute, being able to be playful and confident and emotionally stimulating, but barring that you can certainly work on your looks, personal grooming, and other daily habits.
Maybe some women are entitled, maybe some are not. That's not really your problem as a man... focus on yourself, building yourself, being the best version of yourself, and the right one may come along, or maybe she won't, but it's a much more productive use of time than pining or wallowing in one's misery or negativity which will only reinforce those neural connections in the brain.
Like my co-worker today said who's getting married in June... a woman won't solve all your problems... if anything she might make your problems worse. It's best to go into a relationship with healthy psychology. Unfortunately that sometimes is not possible, which is why relationships often end up dysfunctional.
I know I'm still a work in progress... for me it will happen when it happens.
As I continue to try retraining my limbic system I'm still way, WAY too shy for my own good. It's definitely holding me back. I get around certain women and the nervous system just wants to shut down. Pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone is proving to be difficult here, lol.
Rest assured that is exceedingly common. Fear of rejection is something everyone has, whether they want to admit it or not.
Even though it is emotional, try not to take it personally. Just move on if you're not getting a positive vibe.
Rest assured that is exceedingly common. Fear of rejection is something everyone has, whether they want to admit it or not.
Even though it is emotional, try not to take it personally. Just move on if you're not getting a positive vibe.
Not everyone has the personality to do the bars and clubs like Warhorse. Or prefers the type of women you meet there.
You really just have to adopt the attitude of, "She either wants to go out with me or she doesn't." That's actually an attractive attitude to have. Being desperate is not.
Not everyone has the personality to do the bars and clubs like Warhorse. Or prefers the type of women you meet there.
You really just have to adopt the attitude of, "She either wants to go out with me or she doesn't." That's actually an attractive attitude to have. Being desperate is not.
Or….you can go to Pattaya Thailand and have a jolly old time. Matter of fact thousands of men worldwide, enjoy the festivities there. Beats the hell out of dealing with stuck up, entitled American women.
The notion that stay at home mothers or stay at home fathers are too stupid and lazy to plan or prepare for a potential divorce or death of a breadwinner or working spouse is absolutely absurd.
"Stay at home parents are so screwed, if they get divorced, they're going to be homeless."
What a hilarious generalization and insult to parents who stay at home.
It is not at all what I meant and you know it. You are the only one saying any such thing about stay at home parents.
Facts are (and you can look it up) single (divorced) women with children are the highest demographic for poverty. If one never gets a degree/job training/experience/tenure or drops out of the job market for 6-20 years chances of getting decent wage employment are severely decreased. Add supporting a dependent(s) to that and its even worse. Its not rocket science.
As I continue to try retraining my limbic system I'm still way, WAY too shy for my own good. It's definitely holding me back. I get around certain women and the nervous system just wants to shut down. Pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone is proving to be difficult here, lol.
At least I accept responsibility for my faults now. You can't change something if you don't acknowledge there is a problem. I always say this when talking about the inner city crime problem when democrats refuse to acknowledge there is a problem, obviously it will never get fixed.
Fix yourself. The dating market is the harshest capitalist free market we have. It's not fair. It's dog eat dog. Most of us here lean at least moderate if not somewhat conservative, and are mostly capitalists, so surely we can take the dating market and apply free market principles and logic here. It's the simple laws of supply and demand. Men have to try harder these days. Cultural mores doesn't give bland, boring, unkempt, lazy, or extremely shy men women handed to them on a platter anymore. You have to work for it.... work on yourself. Personality really is the most important attribute, being able to be playful and confident and emotionally stimulating, but barring that you can certainly work on your looks, personal grooming, and other daily habits.
Maybe some women are entitled, maybe some are not. That's not really your problem as a man... focus on yourself, building yourself, being the best version of yourself, and the right one may come along, or maybe she won't, but it's a much more productive use of time than pining or wallowing in one's misery or negativity which will only reinforce those neural connections in the brain.
Like my co-worker today said who's getting married in June... a woman won't solve all your problems... if anything she might make your problems worse. It's best to go into a relationship with healthy psychology. Unfortunately that sometimes is not possible, which is why relationships often end up dysfunctional.
I know I'm still a work in progress... for me it will happen when it happens.
It is not at all what I meant and you know it. You are the only one saying any such thing about stay at home parents.
Facts are (and you can look it up) single (divorced) women with children are the highest demographic for poverty.
So now you’re suggesting women shouldn’t get married.
Marriage is a way many folks get out of poverty. Claiming that marriage or being a stay at home parent is bad, is absolutely hilarious.
Quote:
When it comes to marriage and family life, America is increasingly divided. College-educated and more affluent Americans enjoy relatively strong and stable marriages and the economic and social benefits that flow from such marriages. By contrast, not just poor but also working-class Americans face rising rates of family instability, single parenthood, and life-long singleness. Their families are increasingly fragile and poor and working-class Americans pay a serious economic, social, and psychological price for the fragility of their families.1
This is an excellent observation, but I don't think it makes the point that you're trying to make, which appears to simply be that marriage is good.
Yes, when people who have decent prospects team up, their ability to earn, save, enjoy life, and have stable households goes up. Two responsible heads are better than one, no kidding!
But the lower classes are struggling...again...water is wet?... Their families are fragile. Yes. Thing is when you grow up in a harsh environment, a lot of the time it does not give you the skills and knowledge and programming in your brain, to succeed. A few do scratch their way out, but most do not. Desperation begets desperation. It's easy to assume that these "fragile families" exist because irresponsible young people have frivolous sex, but that is not remotely the whole picture. What about when either parent or both, is an alcoholic, an addict, or an abuser? When one or both refuses to keep jobs and overburdens the other? And with guys who act entitled to an extended childhood even after they have fathered kids, how on earth is a mom going to stay at home? She might be the only breadwinner. But there's still a problem, because that guy isn't going to actually do the labor of a stay at home parent, more likely than not.
She will lose respect for him when she's got to act like his mother and yell at him to pick up his damn underwear off the floor and stop leaving food and trash everywhere...any love or intimacy they had will die...and that way lies divorce. As it should. Because some of these dudes are more of a liability than they are an asset.
Obviously not all people of limited means are overgrown adolescents who don't know how to act. But too many of them ARE. When they get together and make babies, people are quick to point a finger at their irresponsible choices and scold them, but if women decide instead to have some standards about who they take a chance of getting pregnant with? Like, insist that he have his crap together as a functional adult, be clean and have a clean home and a stable job? Oh, god, we are so very picky and entitled! But what's WRONG with smoking weed and playing video games???? Well. Like maybe men are not remembering that particularly for younger women, dating leads to family.
Hell there are guys complaining that women putting in the work ourselves to be functional independent adults means we are pickier because we expect men to be at or above our level, and THAT'S not fair.
Like literally anything, but to have to put down the weed and booze and Xbox controller and keep a job, pick up after yourself and act like a damn grown up. Anything but that!
Man we got girl with daddy issues and boys with mommy issues out there. I'm tellin' ya...
Here you go again. How in the world do you get that I said women shouldn't get married?
I stated a statistical fact that single mothers (including divorced women) make up the highest poverty demographic.
Never did I say marriage was bad nor being a stay at home parent was bad. Never.
I said dont be dependent on another person for your wellbeing, survival and future.
Your really reaching to try to turn that simple sentence into saying ban parents, caregivers, babysitters, legal guardians, foster parents, nursing homes, stay at home mothers, and stay at home fathers and marriage is bad.
Reading responses this thread I can certainly see why some people are perpetually lonely and sexless.
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