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States vary somewhat on CS calculations. Most states use a shard income model. Texas and Alaska seem to have the highest percentage. Average 430, I said 400, shoot me. I'm am supposed to get $300/month for one child from my ex DIL (that includes arrears). The average individual income I believe is 54k/year.
The $430 figure was taken from THE CENSUS DATA FROM 12 YEARS AGO IN 2010. I don’t believe the figures could possible remained the same, since everything else has gone up. So, consider yourself shot LOL.
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Originally Posted by 2mares
When you are married with kids does the amount of expenditures for your kids, type of home you live in, clothes they wear, food they eat, activities they are involved in, you know general lifestyle, vary with your income? The more you make the better the lifestyle meaning you spend more money on them? If you are paying 900/month what do you suppose it is costing the custodial parent?
Based on what you just rattled off, I suppose it would vary based on choices, rather than bare essentials. If you are dressing Susie in the finest from the selections at Nordstroms, it might make a big difference compared to Target or Marshall’s. If you are going full organic at Whole Foods, rather than more budget friendly HEB … that could make a big difference too. Will Susie be taking piano lessons? Ballet? Or is Susie more of the soccer or gymnast type. That could make a difference. So, it’s rather relative.
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Originally Posted by 2mares
You are right, custody is usually agreed without going to court and therefore men usually dont ask for custody. When they do they are most often granted custody when they show they have had a personal vested involvement with their child. If you were a judge and you have two parents, one has done 95% of the actual day to day care for the children, buys their food, cooks their food, feed them, bathe them, wash their clothes, take them to school, take them to the doctor, activities, stay with them when they are sick, knows their teachers, doctors, coaches, friends, friends families, favorite color, fears, dreams, etc. and the other parent, well, does not. Which do you think would be the best parent to have custodial custody?
Come on, you know the reason women are the ones who most often physically file for divorce.
No, I don’t, really. While it is absolutely true that women are by and large the ones most frequently the initiators of divorce petitions, I don’t think there is some other singular reason for that other than the desire for said divorce. Is there some other reason you believe is so obvious that I would already know?
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Originally Posted by 2mares
How are you penalized for paying child support? If men want equal or full custody they need to step up the parenting. If you have a working spouse with a decent income half of all that everything is theirs too. Why do you assume its all yours and your spouse isnt entitled to half? Why do you assume the custodial parent is spending 1000+ each month for the care of the kids?
Why do you keep trying to apply particular beliefs to me that I have not claimed?
First, I consider it a penalty for anyone to have to pay a price for a choice they did not choose, resulting in a situation they did not desire. That’s how I figure it. Now, that doesn’t mean I think the children should bear the costs by doing without, to mitigate that unfairness. But maybe there should not be a one size fits all solution. Maybe an evaluation of incomes ought to be considered.
Hypothetically, let’s say the man is an IT guy making $90,000 per year, and the female a real estate attorney making 175,000 per year. And she decides that she just doesn’t want or need him anymore, and has decided to end the marriage so she can pursue a relationship with this new guy who she recently “met” on an out of town business trip a few weeks previously. She’s like, I’m really sorry Joe, but you gotta go, and he is totally blindsided and crushed. Joe now has to move out, because he can’t afford the mortgage on that house on just his salary alone, but she can. Joe didn’t want a divorce. He didn’t find someone new. So now, he must pack up and leave, so he loses his home, his wife, and child.
But also … Joe now gets to send his wayward ex wife a $1200 check every month for the next 15 years for child support, even though she doesn’t need a penny of it. And when Joe comes over to pick up Junior for the weekend, he gets to see the new guy out front mowing what used to be his yard.
And it only cost him $1200 a month for the privilege!!
This problem is not contained within the US, allow me to broaden the perspective a bit...
I have many friends who are reasonably fit, 30+, masters degrees in stem-fields with careers on track, etc but completely bypassed by Swedish women. The case for me was the same.
Being at the top 25%~ of income, top 5~% of physical prowess, maybe slightly above average looks and certainly above average height, etc does not meet the minimum expectations of any somewhat desirable women. The hard truth to face while turning 30, after a decade of trying to self improve, getting a career, trying to become attractive, trying to find someone near me was;
What I have to offer is not good enough to be considered for any women that I would consider, even after lowering the bar over and over to the point of ridicule... at least not in my vicinity.
Dating is essentially a market of supply and demand, where neither side can be artificially adjusted in the short term.
You can't "stimulate" interpersonal attraction between one person and another that the first person deem as "subpar" by sanction, taxation or subsidy for example.
One person will either be attracted to the other or not given their disposition based on the entire pasts of their lives.
It would appear women in particular have a steadily decreasing demand for men in the US, in Sweden, in much of western Europe, etc. So as a supplier of the "good/service" of decreasing demand, i.e. "manhood", it became evident to me that demand can't be passively expected, but must be sought in a different market.
With this realization in mind, I went looking in eastern Europe, where I meet a wonderful woman who does value things like partership, hard work etc. I think American men looking for women from South America or the Philipines are doing something similar.
If a supplier of something can't change what they supply, but can change in which market they supply it, then that supplier must switch to a market with more realistic prospects.
It is not the job of western women to lower their standards, any more than it is for western men to lower theirs.
... However women who keep rejecting any and all available prospective men can't reach results by complaining that the selection of men is inadequate.
... And in the same way men can't keep taking rejection after rejection and think what they have on offer is suitable for the women they have chosen to pursue.
Bingo…and hopefully many single men have read through this thread and realize what they could be getting themselves into. Yikes
I think information is getting out there in certain areas of the internet and more and more men are deciding marriage isn’t worth pursuing as a life goal. In some areas of the internet negative discussion about men and marriage is shunned and discussions are quickly locked down. 20+ years ago men couldn’t really hear stories about marriage…they could talk to a few friends and maybe an uncle or two, but nowadays they can hear from millions of men.
I think information is getting out there in certain areas of the internet and more and more men are deciding marriage isn’t worth pursuing as a life goal. In some areas of the internet negative discussion about men and marriage is shunned and discussions are quickly locked down. 20+ years ago men couldn’t really hear stories about marriage…they could talk to a few friends and maybe an uncle or two, but nowadays they can hear from millions of men.
I’d wager reading some of these posts would definitely make them weary. So much angst, scorn, hate, etc…I’m very thankful my wife sounds nothing like these folks.
With so many options available via social media, companionship is so easy to find without the need of getting married.
I’d wager reading some of these posts would definitely make them weary. So much angst, scorn, hate, etc…I’m very thankful my wife sounds nothing like these folks.
With so many options available via social media, companionship is so easy to find without the need of getting married.
I think the *** is up on both sides now. It is much easier to see the lie of marriage via the net.
It would appear women in particular have a steadily decreasing demand for men in the US, in Sweden, in much of western Europe, etc. So as a supplier of the "good/service" of decreasing demand, i.e. "manhood", it became evident to me that demand can't be passively expected, but must be sought in a different market.
With this realization in mind, I went looking in eastern Europe, where I meet a wonderful woman who does value things like partership, hard work etc. I think American men looking for women from South America or the Philipines are doing something similar.
If a supplier of something can't change what they supply, but can change in which market they supply it, then that supplier must switch to a market with more realistic prospects.
It is not the job of western women to lower their standards, any more than it is for western men to lower theirs.
... However women who keep rejecting any and all available prospective men can't reach results by complaining that the selection of men is inadequate.
... And in the same way men can't keep taking rejection after rejection and think what they have on offer is suitable for the women they have chosen to pursue.
Seems like their should be a legit bustling market (much more than there is) for South American, Easten European and Asian women open to meeting western men. I mean typically when there’s a huge void in the market (all the men who can’t get attention despite breaking their back) something rises up to meet demand.
This problem is not contained within the US, allow me to broaden the perspective a bit...
I have many friends who are reasonably fit, 30+, masters degrees in stem-fields with careers on track, etc but completely bypassed by Swedish women. The case for me was the same.
Being at the top 25%~ of income, top 5~% of physical prowess, maybe slightly above average looks and certainly above average height, etc does not meet the minimum expectations of any somewhat desirable women. The hard truth to face while turning 30, after a decade of trying to self improve, getting a career, trying to become attractive, trying to find someone near me was;
What I have to offer is not good enough to be considered for any women that I would consider, even after lowering the bar over and over to the point of ridicule... at least not in my vicinity.
Dating is essentially a market of supply and demand, where neither side can be artificially adjusted in the short term.
You can't "stimulate" interpersonal attraction between one person and another that the first person deem as "subpar" by sanction, taxation or subsidy for example.
One person will either be attracted to the other or not given their disposition based on the entire pasts of their lives.
It would appear women in particular have a steadily decreasing demand for men in the US, in Sweden, in much of western Europe, etc. So as a supplier of the "good/service" of decreasing demand, i.e. "manhood", it became evident to me that demand can't be passively expected, but must be sought in a different market.
With this realization in mind, I went looking in eastern Europe, where I meet a wonderful woman who does value things like partership, hard work etc. I think American men looking for women from South America or the Philipines are doing something similar.
If a supplier of something can't change what they supply, but can change in which market they supply it, then that supplier must switch to a market with more realistic prospects.
It is not the job of western women to lower their standards, any more than it is for western men to lower theirs.
... However women who keep rejecting any and all available prospective men can't reach results by complaining that the selection of men is inadequate.
... And in the same way men can't keep taking rejection after rejection and think what they have on offer is suitable for the women they have chosen to pursue.
I don't know what the dating/mating market is like in Sweden and the other Scandinavian nations, but I can't imagine they're any better than the US.
From my observations, it seems that women increasingly just don't care. They are becoming increasingly cold and aloof towards men in general, if not fearful and resentful.
As for going to Eastern Europe or elsewhere to find a mate, that can easily backfire. First of all, it is expensive and time consuming. There's also a language and cultural barrier.
I actually know a guy who met his wife (now his ex wife) in Ukraine. This guy was a coworker of mine. He met a woman when he was in Ukraine, and he married her and brought her back to the US, and they had a child together. This marriage of theirs was a nightmare. The woman started treating him coldly, ran up 25K on his credit card, accused him off being "abusive" (this guy is one of the nicest guys I know), and he even told me that he had suspicions she was having an affair. Turns out, this woman was just using him for the green card. I haven't talked to this guy since the fall of 2020, but last I heard, they were divorced.
Be very careful about foreign women.
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Originally Posted by erieguy
I’d wager reading some of these posts would definitely make them weary. So much angst, scorn, hate, etc…I’m very thankful my wife sounds nothing like these folks.
With so many options available via social media, companionship is so easy to find without the need of getting married.
Social media is part of the problem. Social media is making dating/mating more difficult, not easier, for the average guy. Women on the other hand just feel overwhelmed with options.
Last edited by Taggerung; 05-26-2022 at 06:02 PM..
I don't know what the dating/mating market is like in Sweden and the other Scandinavian nations, but I can't imagine they're any better than the US.
From my observations, it seems that women increasingly just don't care. They are becoming increasingly cold and aloof towards men in general, if not fearful and resentful.
As for going to Eastern Europe or elsewhere to find a mate, that can easily backfire. First of all, it is expensive and time consuming. There's also a language and cultural barrier.
I actually know a guy who met his wife (now his ex wife) in Ukraine. This guy was a coworker of mine. He met a woman when he was in Ukraine, and he married her and brought her back to the US, and they had a child together. This marriage of theirs was a nightmare. The woman started treating him coldly, ran up 25K on his credit card, accused him off being "abusive" (this guy is one of the nicest guys I know), and he even told me that he had suspicions she was having an affair. Turns out, this woman was just using him for the green card. I haven't talked to this guy since the fall of 2020, but last I heard, they were divorced.
Be very careful about foreign women.
I guess a better option (if finances allow…maybe in early retirement if you managed to keep your earnings) would be moving to one of these countries and sorta immersing yourself in the culture. Perhaps a good chance women brought to America could become Americanized.
Quote:
Social media is part of the problem. Social media is making dating/mating more difficult, not easier, for the average guy. Women on the other hand just feel overwhelmed with options.
I’ve heard some say women love attention and compliments — social media is an endless source of attention and compliments.
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