Is perpetual loneliness/sexlessness the "new normal" for today's men? (independence, compared)
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I think that both men and women these days are too picky. That's not to say that they shouldn't have standards, but they also have to accept some flaws. So many people have trouble dating for that very reason.
I do think that there are many entitled and horrible women out there, but men aren't necessarily much better. I often hear men discussing the sexual market value of women and that they hit the wall at 30. That's just ridiculous to me.
There’s somebody for everyone. Men need to up their game. Get out from behind the computer. Learn to be more conversational, be a good listener. Have some humor and fun. Be responsible and caring. Same goes for women. If you’re not finding anyone it isn’t society’s fault.
Well I mean we aren't talking fault but please stop acting like this is just some weirdo on any side.
It is a fact that population is dropping fast.
It is a fact that some nations are dealing with a crisis of people being estranged from each other and all that comes with that.
These are real problems and more of a society problem than any individual.
Good looking and non weird upwardly mobile women and men on both sides are sitting alone, more and more often... and we need to address it.
One of the problems created by it is maladaptive men acting out but there are many other problems coming out of people being estranged from each other.
Youngsters have lost the art of conversation. You cannot meet young women if you are sitting in front of a computer playing video games.
There are tons of single women looking for a hard working, intelligent guy with a good sense of humor and calm disposition.
My two sons are well educated, athletic, and have good senses of humor. They have never had a problem meeting girls (one to be married in a month).
My daughter, an ortho surgical resident, says many guys encountered outside healthcare are not interesting people and often lack a sense of humor.
Especially when you look at who she's probably looking at, which is someone that makes more than a surgeon but also as attractive, funny, caring, doting, smart and so on. Don't get me wrong I think the incels are pathetic but there is also setting yourself up for slim odds. E.g., I'm fairly smart but probably stupider than your daughter, don't make as much money as she will when she finishes residency. Both legitimate reasons she would not give me a second glance, which is perfectly fine and doesn't bother me any. Just there's a smaller pool for smart, successful women. E.g., your sons may beuch more open to looking at less intelligent, less successful women than your daughter is when looking at men. And then men who are more intelligent and successful maybe aren't looking for those characteristics so much as just for a trophy wife.
Obviously an incel can't handle anything coming from a woman if it's not "Take me now you golden God". So here it is from a dude - Fix yourselves you abject losers. There's just so much mental illness flowing from these bitter angry threatening men that it's no wonder women run screaming from them. Which came first ... the crazy or the rejection by women? You say rejection brings on the crazy. I say it's the skin-crawling hair standing up on the back of the neck, pet stabbing vibe emanating from the incel types that makes women run screaming preferably to a well lighted spot near a police station.
BTW you have brought this subject up before. Bit of advice lest you be confused with one ... Nobody advocates for incels except incels. Food for thought. And some salad. Incels usually need to eat more salad. Rage driven pizza annihilation coupled with 6 hrs/d of violent video gaming is felt by some to be an effective female repellant. Just saying in case you know and want to help any incels.
I'll copy and paste this brilliant and totally not spiteful and regurgitated """advice""" to any and all in**ls I come across on the internet. I'm sure it will make them stop being in**ls, and motivate them to fix all their problems right away.
I met my wife on the OG OkCupid, back when there were questions and surveys and people read your entire profile instead of it being a tinder clone.
Sometimes I feel like I caught the last chopper out of Saigon.
LOL! Well put. I know exactly what you mean. There was a brief moment in time somewhere between usenet and the Craigslist personals when the internet was relatively healthy and the odds of a monster catfish slobbering on the other end of the line was low. Those days are long long gone. Nobody escapes the embassy now.
My millennial sons are doing great. i know they are not lonely or sexless. i would be worried if they were in public school or college now and being taught by their teachers that males are toxic or boys could be girls!
As usual the roots of social trends are economic and technological.
Why are a lot of men giving up? Because the need for manual labor has fallen off a cliff due to industrialization. These men know they are economically superfluous so why try? It's not as if a woman will marry an economically marginal man in any day and age.
Telling a forever single man to improve his grooming and manners to attract women is like telling a homeless guy to get a job at McDonalds. There are bigger issues at play that make climbing out of the situation he's in impossible in a lot of cases.
Monogamy was the standard because agriculture needed workers. Now we don't need as many workers. We already have effective polygamy (serial monogamy) as the new social standard. I don't see the situation changing because manpower is nowhere near as in demand as in the past.
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