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It's the strongest biological urge we have. We are animals.
Psychologically it better to have 2-3 kids within 2-3 years so they can socialize with one another and not rely on the parent for socialization, similar to having 2 cats or dogs.
The whole planet going to crap mentality is a media created fantasy...the world has always been a hell...you adapt, get over it, and take risks. Living in a state of fear is no way to live. Your mindset is your reality. Choose to watch mainstream news and get fed a steady diet of bukk**** and live according to their narratives....garbage inputs means garbage outputs.
And I didn't say they weren't loved or cared for either. But as someone who grew up in a lower middle class family of six, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend it doesn't create a strain on the family or the system either.
I had zero guidance from my parents on college, how to pay, what to major in, what careers to look into. It took over a decade to dig myself out of the hole that they created for me by not giving me these tools.
I'm really sorry that you had a rough childhood, but your personal experience does not extend to everyone else who grew up with several siblings. You are taking the shortcomings and failures of your own parents, blaming them solely on the number of children they had to raise, and then extending your conclusions to everyone with a larger family. That is a logical error stemming from your own bitterness.
I won't bore you with all the details, but my family of seven children was not wealthy and yet it sounds like it was pretty much the opposite of yours. A couple of us did not finish university (I did), but it was by their choice as everyone had the opportunity. Every one of us got good jobs, married, had our own children, and have led comfortable lives.
I'm really sorry that you had a rough childhood, but your personal experience does not extend to everyone else who grew up with several siblings. You are taking the shortcomings and failures of your own parents, blaming them solely on the number of children they had to raise, and then extending your conclusions to everyone with a larger family. That is a logical error stemming from your own bitterness.
I won't bore you with all the details, but my family of seven children was not wealthy and yet it sounds like it was pretty much the opposite of yours. A couple of us did not finish university (I did), but it was by their choice as everyone had the opportunity. Every one of us got good jobs, married, had our own children, and have led comfortable lives.
Yeah, and where in my post did I say that that wasn't the case for me?
I'm in a far better position that I have been in years past. My 20s were extremely stressful. Lots of debt, lots of uncertainty, and lots of adversity all piled on at once.
But it seems you are missing the point. People who have these happy accidents often don't prepare their children for the harsh realities of the world that stands before them. Yes, I'm sure the parents adapt to their changed circumstances. They reallocate their budgets and make sure food is on the table and clothes are on their backs. They provide the very basics, and what they can't provide, the welfare system steps in.
Beyond that, these parents often fail to teach their children anything about living and self-sustaining in the modern world. I don't think it's because they don't want to, but rather because they don't know any better. But the world does not care about excuses; it is a cold, harsh, ruthless place. The parents often have nothing to offer in the way of career advice. The parents probably aren't able to save for college, so they leave it to the 17-18 y/o kid to figure out how to finance that gargantuan $50k+ investment. Furthermore, they are incapable of providing guidance as to which schools and which programs the child should seriously consider, because quite often they aren't college educated themselves. They also usually aren't very well connected, so networking opportunities are sparse as well. The child is left to figure all of this out all at once and on their own.
All I'm saying is that if you're going to bring a child into those circumstances and not be able to help beyond the basics, you better beat some resiliency into them very early on. Their life is not going to be easy, and it might in fact wind up worse than yours. Out of the 4 children, I am probably quantitatively and qualitatively the most successful. But that also came at a great expense to my physical and mental health, which took a hit for the past decade.
But it seems you are missing the point. People who have these happy accidents often don't prepare their children for the harsh realities of the world that stands before them. Yes, I'm sure the parents adapt to their changed circumstances. They reallocate their budgets and make sure food is on the table and clothes are on their backs. They provide the very basics, and what they can't provide, the welfare system steps in.
Beyond that, these parents often fail to teach their children anything about living and self-sustaining in the modern world. I don't think it's because they don't want to, but rather because they don't know any better. But the world does not care about excuses; it is a cold, harsh, ruthless place. The parents often have nothing to offer in the way of career advice. The parents probably aren't able to save for college, so they leave it to the 17-18 y/o kid to figure out how to finance that gargantuan $50k+ investment. Furthermore, they are incapable of providing guidance as to which schools and which programs the child should seriously consider, because quite often they aren't college educated themselves. They also usually aren't very well connected, so networking opportunities are sparse as well. The child is left to figure all of this out all at once and on their own.
Do you really believe that everyone who has a child that was a "happy accident" fits this description? There ARE parents like the ones you describe, but you are painting with a very broad brush by putting everyone who had a child or children who were not "planned" into this barrel. Just be careful who you are condemning, and that it's not everyone who happens to have more than 2.5 children.
In addition, there are lots and lots of parents with only one or two children who were not college educated, have poor jobs and little money, aren't connected in the business world, utilize the welfare system, etc.
Do you really believe that everyone who has a child that was a "happy accident" fits this description? There ARE parents like the ones you describe, but you are painting with a very broad brush by putting everyone who had a child or children who were not "planned" into this barrel. Just be careful who you are condemning, and that it's not everyone who happens to have more than 2.5 children.
In addition, there are lots and lots of parents with only one or two children who were not college educated, have poor jobs and little money, aren't connected in the business world, utilize the welfare system, etc.
The quantity of the children is not the issue in my argument. The amount of resources you can provide to each child as a parent is. Yes, I do think that most parents who have had multiple unplanned pregnancies are often not prepared or capable of adequately bringing that child into the world and preparing them for adulthood. That's not to say that the kid is destined to be an utter failure. But I'd say there's a good chance life is going to frequently be very hard on them. If they aren't resilient or persistent, they will cave and they will struggle tremendously. I can't speak for you or anyone else, but that is not what I want for any prospective child of mine. I know what I went through, I know what it did to me. I'm not willing to put another human life in that circumstance unless I can give them all the necessary resources they need to succeed.
And yes, the circumstance you describe above would fall into that category for me.
It's actually not a problem. Used to be, but not anymore.
23 countries will see their populations halve by 2100. As far as I know, no country will see an increase in population caused by birth of new citizens. There will be an population increase in a few countries, but only due to immigration.
World population will fall sharply in coming generations. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-53409521
Yeah, it's called unprotected sex. Let's call it what it is, you are not special. You had sex without (ETA: the appropriate levels of) birth control or contraceptives, and your hubby/BF's pull-out game was ineffective.
Yeah well, you don't know what you are talking about.
I have hyperfertility (aka hyperovulation). I can get pregnant when I'm already pregnant; it's happened three times & the first time it was so anomalous that it qualified as a reportable occurrence to the CDC (conceived twice after I was already pregnant).
One of my triplets spontaneously aborted but I retained two & gave birth to twins who were days apart in gestational age. My second set of twins were about a week apart in gestational age. Again, I had conceived after I was already pregnant. My youngest is a vasectomy baby. It happens. Not just to me but to a lot of women.
I don't know anybody with a lot of kids who actually planned them & the topic of this thread is "why do people have multiple children". The point of my comment wasn't to defend myself personally for having had multiple children; but to point out that it's not that people are planning on having multiple children:
It's that people are choosing to NOT have multiple abortions.
The existence of "safe family planning" methods is a myth. Especially for healthy people. I have horror stories about every method available. They are all awful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot
, indeed. I don't think you read past the first sentence of her post! She literally said she used birth control, and an IUD specifically. I would assume she tried other kinds of birth control also. And she said nothing about pulling out or other faux methods of preventing pregnancy.
At least if you are going to attack and insult people, read what they wrote first.
Some people get women despite using birth control, you know. Nothing is 100%. Isn't that one of the points the pro-choice crowd is fond of making? We need to allow abortion as a means of birth control because other methods fail? And it's also true that some women are definitely more fertile than others.
Thank you. It's interesting that the "Birth control isn't 100%" mantra is only valid for those choosing abortion but has no validity for those who choose life. Even more weird that's it's happening on a thread about why people have multiple children. Life should be the default setting, not the other way around.
I have multiple (2) children because that's what my husband and I decided we'd like to have. Plain and simple. I was married in my 20s but I didn't have children until my 30s because we thought about where we'd be in life before adding more life (lives).
Not like this needs to be included in the discussion, but since it was mentioned, if I found out I was pregnant right now with my third child, I would abort. At 46, going on 47 years old, juggling job and two older children, there's no way I could handle a third and adoption just wouldn't be an option.
Yeah well, you don't know what you are talking about.
I have hyperfertility (aka hyperovulation). I can get pregnant when I'm already pregnant; it's happened three times & the first time it was so anomalous that it qualified as a reportable occurrence to the CDC (conceived twice after I was already pregnant).
One of my triplets spontaneously aborted but I retained two & gave birth to twins who were days apart in gestational age. My second set of twins were about a week apart in gestational age. Again, I had conceived after I was already pregnant. My youngest is a vasectomy baby. It happens. Not just to me but to a lot of women.
You do realize that your circumstances are INCREDIBLY rare.
Also, once you were made aware of these circumstances, there are other, more full-proof options available to you that don't consist of BC pills or IUDs.
I'm sure you love your children and don't regret them for an instant. However, it's not to say that happy accidents like that are completely unpreventable if they are not planned for nor wanted. I'm sure after the 1st happy accident, you learned quite a bit about your hyperfertility. You could have taken steps to prevent them from happening again, but you chose not to. That's not a judgment on you. I'm sure you were more than happy, if not a little shocked, by them. That's okay. But let's not pretend that this was completely inevitable and unpreventable.
This isn't a new sentiment at all. For a long time now, couples have been getting sterilized so there would be no chance. Imagine in the 60s and 70s young couples were worried about the same thing. The world then was more like Eden compared to now but they thought the world was a horrible, disgusting, and poisonous place on the brink of annihilation.
What about the beautiful experiences babies have on planet Earth with flowers and berries, puppies and kittens, sunshine and Love. And when they are young adults they fall in love, make babies and experience that unique love relationship with their baby and their baby with them. I wouldn't want to deprive any soul of the opportunity to know such beauty.
But would you want them to experience floods, fires and hurricanes and etc on a yearly or semi-annual/quarterly basis?
Be burned out or flooded out of homes?
Fighting over water?
Fighting over food? Food shortages?
Various types of shortages of necessities?
Living in 110+ degree heat much of the year?
These things are no longer crazy conspiracy theories they are what scientists are saying are GOING TO happen and we are already seeing it.
Polar ice caps melting, oceans heating, floor zones increasing, fires increasing...
I dunno. I would not want to bring a child onto /into such a planet. Certainly no more than ONE child!
But honestly I would feel irresponsible to even bring One.
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