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Was that your choice, or did they compel you to keep her remains? You were, after all, given the choice.
I am pretty sure that those asterisks are hiding the queen mother of curses - sorry you seem to have taken this so personally. This is a discussion where differing opinions arise - no need to take the discussion into the gutter. And my comment was not directed to you personally, in case that may have missed your attention.
Don't take this the wrong way - I am sympathetic to your loss, and I am just as sympathetic to the loss of a woman who aborts. They are both a loss.
Sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities with my asterisks......I would not have thought you to be particularily sensitive. I guess only where your feelings are concerned, no?
Anyways, lets take your hypothetical situation and run with it.....if your spouse dies, is it your choice to deal with the funeral? Would you be the victim of a massive guilt trip if the hospital wanted you to make plans for his corpse? Would that mean you had been compelled?
A corpse is a corpse is a corpse. Now, miscarriages that happen much much earlier (say 9-12 weeks) --- yeah, if a d&c is performed after the m/c, there is no body to bury as it is treated as medical waste. Which is a sad thing. On the other hand, I know women (and if you had as many m/cs as I had you get to know this subcommunity pretty well) who had m/cs at home and voila! tiny baby in hand. And yes, they gave those babies a funeral. I know I did mine at that age. As for even earlier still....no body that is discernable to the naked eye, so no funeral for it. But it doesn't make it less sad.
The reason I didn't bother to reply to the second part of your post was that women who have abortions made the CHOICE to lose their baby. Women who miscarry do not HAVE a choice so my concern is more for them. I do know women who have had abortions and who have regretted it for the rest of their lives. In fact I knew a woman who had an abortion while in college. It left her with such regret that, many years later, while pregnant with another child, when she was discovered to have breast cancer, she chose to not abort the baby so she could have chemo because she said she could never do that again. She gave birth to a little girl who, very sadly, will grow up without her mother. Would I have blamed her for having an abortion so that she could have chemo? No I would not. But the point is that she blamed herself so much for the first abortion that she could not bring herself to do it again when it would have saved her life. So clearly not every woman who has an abortion finds it as easy to dismiss as some do.
Sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities with my asterisks......I would not have thought you to be particularily sensitive. I guess only where your feelings are concerned, no?
Anyways, lets take your hypothetical situation and run with it.....if your spouse dies, is it your choice to deal with the funeral? Would you be the victim of a massive guilt trip if the hospital wanted you to make plans for his corpse? Would that mean you had been compelled?
A corpse is a corpse is a corpse. Now, miscarriages that happen much much earlier (say 9-12 weeks) --- yeah, if a d&c is performed after the m/c, there is no body to bury as it is treated as medical waste. Which is a sad thing. On the other hand, I know women (and if you had as many m/cs as I had you get to know this subcommunity pretty well) who had m/cs at home and voila! tiny baby in hand. And yes, they gave those babies a funeral. I know I did mine at that age. As for even earlier still....no body that is discernable to the naked eye, so no funeral for it. But it doesn't make it less sad.
You have not offended me, I assure you. As a matter of fact, I have given you positive reps on other posts of yours, and I will in the future. Again, I am sympathetic to your loss. I am a woman, I am a mother, and I have a daughter. How could I not be?
My point is that different people process their grief differently. It is a very personal subject, and not one you would want to have someone else dictate what you are allowed to do. Choices are necessary. Again, loss is loss, regardless of the process. We should all be allowed to process and grieve however necessary, not how someone mandates or regulates.
You have not offended me, I assure you. As a matter of fact, I have given you positive reps on other posts of yours, and I will in the future. Again, I am sympathetic to your loss. I am a woman, I am a mother, and I have a daughter. How could I not be?
My point is that different people process their grief differently. It is a very personal subject, and not one you would want to have someone else dictate what you are allowed to do. Choices are necessary. Again, loss is loss, regardless of the process. We should all be allowed to process and grieve however necessary, not how someone mandates or regulates.
And on that I do agree with you (thanks for the rep points, btw...I'm sure I've given some to you as well). What does get me angry is when people try to diminish the loss, make it seem like the woman was dewormed. That is not the reality, whether it was a wanted pregnancy or not. I'm sorry if I misjudged what you were trying to say....but on this one aspect of the abortion debate (well, that and possible pain felt by the fetus) I do get mad.
My position on abortion is rare and early. I don't think that there is anything too firebrand about that
And on that I do agree with you (thanks for the rep points, btw...I'm sure I've given some to you as well). What does get me angry is when people try to diminish the loss, make it seem like the woman was dewormed. That is not the reality, whether it was a wanted pregnancy or not. I'm sorry if I misjudged what you were trying to say....but on this one aspect of the abortion debate (well, that and possible pain felt by the fetus) I do get mad.
My position on abortion is rare and early. I don't think that there is anything too firebrand about that
For some women it is like being dewormed.
That is their choice, their feelings.
Who are you to deny them their viewpoint and personal decision?
No one is trying to force you to do anything, unfortunately, you are trying to force others to behave as you would.
For some women it is like being dewormed.
That is their choice, their feelings.
Who are you to deny them their viewpoint and personal decision?
No one is trying to force you to do anything, unfortunately, you are trying to force others to behave as you would.
And some people treat their daughters as chattal, as they believe being born female equates with having no worth.
Cut it anyway you want (no pun intendended) but a fetus is not a worm, especially one in the second and third trimester (you know, the point of this thread).
Science, as you yourself have pointed out to me on numerous occasions, is not and should not be based on 'feelings'. Science says a fetus is not a worm. Feelings notwithstanding, of course.
For some women it is like being dewormed.
That is their choice, their feelings.
Who are you to deny them their viewpoint and personal decision?
No one is trying to force you to do anything, unfortunately, you are trying to force others to behave as you would.
I'd bet you would deny me the right to go out and kill adults. Same thing here. There should be no such thing as a right to kill someone.
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