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Well, not to be snippy, but why do you think??? Because here in the South, kids, for the most part, are forced to go to church and hear how horrible sex is and how you are not supposed to do it until marriage. We still teach abstinence only in sex ed (from what I've heard from parents with kids who have gone through it already) and make kids feel ashamed to ask questions. Then when their hormones kick in they go nuts b/c they see all the stuff in movies and on tv that says it's ok to have sex with anyone you want to so they do. They won't use condoms b/c it doesn't feel good. Then, they wind up pregnant. If we could find a happy medium where we teach kids about birth control without them feeling they have to go out and do it, it would be wonderful. I truly believe that having open converstations with kids and making them understand that sex is a grown up act that can have grown up consequences while explaining the truth that yes it does feel good, but you have to be ready for everything that comes with it. Parents aren't parenting anymore and so many of them still don't want to be honest with their kids. They still see them as the cute little kid on the monkey bars and not the teenager with questions. Although, I imagine this scenario could be the same in other states as well. We don't have a monopoly on churches in the South
I don't know about the sex ed courses in your school but mine started in 6th grade. They called it PSI (postponing sexual involvement) and it was taught by juniors and seniors at the high school. No teachers were allowed, so we felt more comfortable asking questions. The pregnancy rate at my high school was fairly low, the majority of the girls who got pregnant were dating older guys.
I loved it because it wasn't that lame video about pregnancy and std's; they talked more about the feelings involved with sexual relationships and reputations. It was a pretty good program and I got involved in it myself when I became a junior.
Then when their hormones kick in they go nuts b/c they see all the stuff in movies and on tv that says it's ok to have sex with anyone you want to so they do.
Why isn't the solution better parenting through keeping track of children?
In the sticks, where I spent a year of my youth on a family farm, the reason there was so much sex going on was because everyone was allowed to disappear for the entire day without so much as a call home. Maybe it's a lack of supervision?
Why is teen-pregnancy anyone's business but the parents' and kids'? Who are any of you to tell other how to live?
Why isn't the solution better parenting through keeping track of children?
In the sticks, where I spent a year of my youth on a family farm, the reason there was so much sex going on was because everyone was allowed to disappear for the entire day without so much as a call home. Maybe it's a lack of supervision?
Why is teen-pregnancy anyone's business but the parents' and kids'? Who are any of you to tell other how to live?
It's other people's responsibility b/c babies already have babies! There are TONS of people who don't want or need to be parents and it shows in how their kids are raised! They are allowed to run wild b/c there is no one at home who cares what they do. Sorry but we have to help teach these kids when parents don't or won't do it.
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I don't know about the sex ed courses in your school but mine started in 6th grade. They called it PSI (postponing sexual involvement) and it was taught by juniors and seniors at the high school. No teachers were allowed, so we felt more comfortable asking questions. The pregnancy rate at my high school was fairly low, the majority of the girls who got pregnant were dating older guys.
I loved it because it wasn't that lame video about pregnancy and std's; they talked more about the feelings involved with sexual relationships and reputations. It was a pretty good program and I got involved in it myself when I became a junior.
Now it's been a long time since I went through it (I'm 36) but it was a teacher and my understanding is that it's still that way here. The boys and girls are separated and it's the same lame stuff I heard (only the video is more current....belts were shown in the video I saw for girls to hold their protection). It would be great to have high school kids involved but I don't think that will happen here b/c our high school has a lot of pregnant girls. Don't really know why unless one thousand is right that the kids really have no accountability which is probably the case.
Why isn't the solution better parenting through keeping track of children?
In the sticks, where I spent a year of my youth on a family farm, the reason there was so much sex going on was because everyone was allowed to disappear for the entire day without so much as a call home. Maybe it's a lack of supervision?
Why is teen-pregnancy anyone's business but the parents' and kids'? Who are any of you to tell other how to live?
Yeah you're right, even though sex ed at my school was cool it was the fear of my mother that kept me a virgin until i was an adult and out of her house.
The idea that parents should keep a better eye on their kids seems like a great solution, but not very practicle in today's world. Kids aren't really kids anymore, starting in middle school (or before), they try to become little adults, and parents are either helpless or useless in trying to stop this once it starts. I would love to think that once I have kids, I can just educate them to the benefits of abstinence or scare them into thinking that they'll go to hell or something for trying anything, but I'm doubtful that either angle will be very helpful. I hope that I will raise them with the morals and personal strength that will be needed to resist the pressures that today's young teens are feeling. Of course my mother (being a teen mother herself) chose to side with caution, she put me on birth control pills 3 years before I started having sex, she wasn't taking any chances & in hindsight I thank her for that.
Now to say why is teen-pregnancy anyone else's business, I think title of this thread & the accompanying article answers that question. The younger you start having kids, the less likely you are to finish high school, much less college, the more likely you will be underemployed or unemployed, the more likely you are to collect welfare and other forms of public assistance and the more likely it is that you will continue to have children that you cannot pay for along with the fact that many children born to teens will continue this cycle because it seems normal to them. This all has a negative impact on the community in general. I don't like the idea of schools being too involved in this because it does seem that parents should have a much more active role in teaching their kids about something so important, but I think most parents aren't really too interested in having an in depth discussion on the physical and emotional aspects of sex.
Why is teen-pregnancy anyone's business but the parents' and kids'? Who are any of you to tell other how to live?
These days a lot of parents don't seem to take their parenting very seriously and the end result is a lot of young single mothers who rely on public assistance, which we, the tax payers pay for. While I do not advocate cutting all aid, I would like to keep it to a minimum.
I strongly support keeping religion out of public schools (and the government) also, btw.
__________________
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~Henry David Thoreau
The younger you start having kids, the less likely you are to finish high school, much less college, the more likely you will be underemployed or unemployed, the more likely you are to collect welfare and other forms of public assistance...
Babies ain't free.
I wonder if it would be more effective to teach against teen pregnancy by emphasizing the financial consequences more so than the moral angle since the financial consequences are more apparent and morality is more subjective? The moral aspect may mean something different to different kids but everyone can relate to avoiding poverty.
Why isn't the solution better parenting through keeping track of children?
In the sticks, where I spent a year of my youth on a family farm, the reason there was so much sex going on was because everyone was allowed to disappear for the entire day without so much as a call home. Maybe it's a lack of supervision?<snip>
It takes what... 10 minutes? To have sex I mean. So assuming the kids have to meet up somewhere, your little sweetie could be gone, WITH permission, to some supposed wholesome event, for an HOUR, and end up pregnant.
Unless you plan on either A) following them everywhere or B)never letting them out of your sight... it's not a simple matter of supervision. IMO it makes much more sense to make sure our kids are raised with a healthy understanding of, and appreciation for their own bodies, rights to privacy/body ownership, and understanding of their sexuality BEFORE they are in a position to make those decisions. Enough sticking our collective heads in the sand and pretending our "little sweetie" would never do such a thing. Biological urges are natural; we have to teach kids how to deal with them! Teaching them that it's shameful or immoral to have these desires doesn't help anyone.
I'm really interested in the link between childhood sexual abuse and teen pregnancy (for both boys and girls);
* 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
* 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
* Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under. (76)
Even within the walls of their own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse
* 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member. (2, 44, 76)
* Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
* Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know. (1, 44)
* Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.
Most children don't tell even if they have been asked
* Evidence that a child has been sexually abused is not always obvious, and many children do not report that they have been abused.
* Over 30% of victims never disclose the experience to ANYONE.
* Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.
* Almost 80% initially deny abuse or are tentative in disclosing. Of those who do disclose, approximately 75% disclose accidentally. Additionally, of those who do disclose, more than 20% eventually recant even though the abuse occurred.
Consequences of child sexual abuse begin affecting children and families immediately. They also affect society in innumerable and negative ways. These effects can continue throughout the life of the survivor so the impact on society for just one survivor continues over multiple decades. Try to imagine the impact of 39 million survivors.
Health and/or Behavioral Problems:
Teenage Pregnancy and Promiscuity:
* Children who have been victims of sexual abuse exhibit long-term and more frequent behavioral problems, particularly inappropriate sexual behaviors.
* Women who report childhood rape are 3 times more likely to become pregnant before age 18.
* An estimated 60% of teen first pregnancies are preceded by experiences of molestation, rape, or attempted rape. The average age of their offenders is 27 years.
* Victims of child sexual abuse are more likely to be sexually promiscuous.
Maybe, considering the numbers (1 in 4, 1 in 6) we should be looking more closely at what happens in our own home, neighborhood, etc. when our children are young, and the connections between this and teen pregnancy rates.
Of course it cannot all be blamed on this but it should be given serious consideration in the discussion! It is VERY relevant!
Speaking as someone who WAS a pregnant teen (and not just once, difference is I didn't have my baby when I got pregnant at 16), my mother's admonishments to "wait until your married" and her clear message that anything other than that path would "break her heart" effectively closed that window of communication. Yes, I was also sexually abused as a child (before age 7 and after as well) by a friend of the family and a quasi-relative (different people).
Yes, my mother explained sex and reproduction to me, and she said she'd get birth control for me if I ever asked... but before and after and around saying that, she went on and on about "good girls wait" and how I was her "sweet little girl" and it was obvious to me early on that if I were ever to tell her anything, to actually request birth control, that I'd be ripping her heart out of her chest. It was for that reason that I never told her anything! I couldn't stand to mess up her idea of me... if that makes sense. So she and I pretended I was still pure and innocent and when I became sexually active, I didn't tell her. When I got pregnant I didn't tell her.
I also think, looking back, that this was much easier for her to preach since she didn't have to "wait" long at all, getting engaged at 16 and married at 17.
She was also a teen parent. She got pregnant by her estranged husband when she was 19, when they were trying to reconcile... but this was viewed as okay by everyone because she WAS married, even though he ran off as soon as she discovered she was pregnant... and I guess it wasn't considered that tragic in a time when no one really expected women to be much beyond wife and mother. Yes, people were shocked that her husband took off, but my mom had a lot of family support, and everyone took it in stride, and my brother was raised with a ton of extended family helping my mom. She didn't suffer the same sort of consequences faced by a teen mom today (economicaly and such)... because she'd been married and because she had family to come to her aid.
It's other people's responsibility b/c babies already have babies! There are TONS of people who don't want or need to be parents and it shows in how their kids are raised! They are allowed to run wild b/c there is no one at home who cares what they do. Sorry but we have to help teach these kids when parents don't or won't do it.
Why not prosecute parents when their kids end up going wrong? Why not eliminate Social Security/Medicare so parents have consequences to threaten them for raising stupid kids?
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Originally Posted by LLLL98
The idea that parents should keep a better eye on their kids seems like a great solution, but not very practicle in today's world.
So good parents are burdened with the weight of stupid people's kids and you think that's the right choice? A good parent who effectively uses abstinence training must pay and/or have their children exposed to sex ed?
Why do you feel it's OK to impose your values with government force? Would you hold a gun to the head of your victims or do you see it like getting beef from the grocery store? Your hands are nice and clean even though you're imposing (oppressing) others?
Do you understand your oppressive ways?
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Originally Posted by katzenfreund
These days a lot of parents don't seem to take their parenting very seriously and the end result is a lot of young single mothers who rely on public assistance, which we, the tax payers pay for. While I do not advocate cutting all aid, I would like to keep it to a minimum.
Maybe the government should get out of the humanitarian business and let people get back to being responsible for themselves?
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Originally Posted by fierce_flawless
It takes what... 10 minutes? To have sex I mean. So assuming the kids have to meet up somewhere, your little sweetie could be gone, WITH permission, to some supposed wholesome event, for an HOUR, and end up pregnant.
Unless you plan on either A) following them everywhere or B)never letting them out of your sight... it's not a simple matter of supervision.
Actually, it takes time to develop enough of a relationship to have sex. A parent has a great deal of time to intervene
When I was a kid, the good kids were the ones who parents watched them constantly... It's a funny ability stay-at-home moms have: They can watch the kids and instill values as opportunities are presented.
Your's, IMO, is an argument for crapping things up even more. You seem to be saying "Family's suck today, so let's help them suck some more."
In regard to all posters, I'm only speaking to references to "we need to do something" when it's in regard to "we" nationally. However, locally (town/city/state) that's a different animal.
Well of course!
Duh!
And along with that we can add, "THE HIGHER THE EDUCATION THE HIGHER THE INCOME"
So stay in school, get a degree and then an advanced degree. THEN start a family.
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). It would be great to have high school kids involved but I don't think that will happen here b/c our high school has a lot of pregnant girls. Don't really know why unless one thousand is right that the kids really have no accountability which is probably the case.
