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I'm a counselor who has worked with felons coming out of prison. I've conducted individual & group counseling for men & women. The overwhelming commonality among them was being "whipped" by their so-called parents. The degree of abuse has a direct correlation to acting-out as teens w/ criminal & self-destructive behavior. Most are also parents & guess what? - they whip their kids
So what? Does this mean all parents are the same? A huge difference between getting a point across/asserting authority when a very bad behavior arises vs. beating the snot out of a kid with a belt because they were a little too loud while daddy was trying watch tv.
Every single time I received a spanking at home, or a paddling at school, I had already received more than my fair share of warnings of what would happen if I didn't stop doing something. My parents/teachers/principals were simply putting some bite into their bark. There were also plenty of situations where simply correcting me through talking or restricting me from something I like was more than enough to modify behavior. But there were times that "time out" and "psychology" type crap just didn't cut it and I needed a reason to fear repeating a bad behavior. Being forced to sit down and chat isn't exactly scary, or losing a toy/privelege doesn't mean that much when you are a very creative child who doesn't need stuff to entertain himself.
So what? Does this mean all parents are the same? A huge difference between getting a point across/asserting authority when a very bad behavior arises vs. beating the snot out of a kid with a belt because they were a little too loud while daddy was trying watch tv.
Every single time I received a spanking at home, or a paddling at school, I had already received more than my fair share of warnings of what would happen if I didn't stop doing something. My parents/teachers/principals were simply putting some bite into their bark. There were also plenty of situations where simply correcting me through talking or restricting me from something I like was more than enough to modify behavior. But there were times that "time out" and "psychology" type crap just didn't cut it and I needed a reason to fear repeating a bad behavior. Being forced to sit down and chat isn't exactly scary, or losing a toy/privelege doesn't mean that much when you are a very creative child who doesn't need stuff to entertain himself.
Good post.
I can't remember dad ever just plain out tearing my but up without a few warnings. Seems I tested my limmits with him and would forget how far he'd ''let it slide''.
My kids are the same way, they know their limmits with me and test those limmits from time to time. After a while, they'll forget their limmits to. Can't remember ever ''just jumping up to spank without warning''.
I have no problem with school paddling kids if they need it. I know I gave the school my permission to do so if mine need it.
I could say no, but then if they don't act right the school will simply send them to alternative school for a few weeks to thing about it. Then I'd bust that but myself as it's 20 miles one way, twice daily to take them, then pick them up as they don't allow kids to ride the buss while being punished in alternative school.So, that'd mean 80 miles total a day ( just from home to school )for three weeks, and trying to figure out keeping a job during those three weeks with work being 40 miles the other direction.Thats another 80 miles in a day making it 160 miles a day total.You think employers would give a rats ass? Why no they wouldn't care and will expect you at work on time and not having to leave early. I've known folks to get fired over this, then later decided to just let the school use the paddle anyways to avoid risking their next job if their kid or kids decide to act up in school again.
So yes, I have no problem letting the school tear that but up if need be, I know I've torn that but up a few times myself when it needed doin'. It never killed me,and I ain't went off on a violence spree in my years of living either.
So the busy parent needs to resort to spanking since there is no time for other measures? That is a classic example of why parents spank\whip their kids because it is fast & convenient for them.
The California legislature is proposing to outlaw spanking by parents [since schools have been forbidden to hurt kids 30 yrs ago]. So are all the kids going to turn into monsters because their parents aren't allowed to use corporal punishment?
There are so many more effective ways to guide children [spanking is primitive & harmful and should never be an option]. Again, who in their right mind would allow a stranger to hurt their kids? Most people treat their pets better than kids! duh! There's so much ignorance & fear of learning better ways to be human beings on this site!
So the busy parent needs to resort to spanking since there is no time for other measures? That is a classic example of why parents spank\whip their kids because it is fast & convenient for them.
The California legislature is proposing to outlaw spanking by parents [since schools have been forbidden to hurt kids 30 yrs ago]. So are all the kids going to turn into monsters because their parents aren't allowed to use corporal punishment?
There are so many more effective ways to guide children [spanking is primitive & harmful and should never be an option]. Again, who in their right mind would allow a stranger to hurt their kids? Most people treat their pets better than kids! duh! There's so much ignorance & fear of learning better ways to be human beings on this site!
And look at Cali, look at the times,,,then look at ours here. Not so much crap going on in schools and on the streets here.
you seem to want to tell everyone what to do with their children. teachers need consent. if a parent wants to spank their kid, who cares. it's not the option I would use, because I know much better ways. see, the problem is that parents fold too easily, and the kids never learn a lesson. if you tell your kid, bed after dinner, no exceptions. if you tell your kid, no TV, no snacks for a week, follow through with it. parents are idiots.
Quote:
Originally Posted by happ
So the busy parent needs to resort to spanking since there is no time for other measures? That is a classic example of why parents spank\whip their kids because it is fast & convenient for them.
The California legislature is proposing to outlaw spanking by parents [since schools have been forbidden to hurt kids 30 yrs ago]. So are all the kids going to turn into monsters because their parents aren't allowed to use corporal punishment?
There are so many more effective ways to guide children [spanking is primitive & harmful and should never be an option]. Again, who in their right mind would allow a stranger to hurt their kids? Most people treat their pets better than kids! duh! There's so much ignorance & fear of learning better ways to be human beings on this site!
So the busy parent needs to resort to spanking since there is no time for other measures? That is a classic example of why parents spank\whip their kids because it is fast & convenient for them.
The California legislature is proposing to outlaw spanking by parents [since schools have been forbidden to hurt kids 30 yrs ago]. So are all the kids going to turn into monsters because their parents aren't allowed to use corporal punishment?
There are so many more effective ways to guide children [spanking is primitive & harmful and should never be an option]. Again, who in their right mind would allow a stranger to hurt their kids? Most people treat their pets better than kids! duh! There's so much ignorance & fear of learning better ways to be human beings on this site!
I used spanking to train my beatiful American Bulldog, and it worked quiet well. I hated doing it, but many times just telling her no, or trying to force her to do what I needed her to do was not enough. A quick tap on the butt always put her in a much more eager to please mode. I always followed up here newly found good behavior with treats, reward, and lots of praise. If I would have kicked the crap out of her and not given any positive reinforcement after the fact, I would have just turned her into either a violent dog or a cowering dog who was afraid of everything. So once again, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. I'm not surprised California is worried about putting big daddy government in people's homes to tell them how to behave. Its not like they have any other more pressing issues right now.
you seem to want to tell everyone what to do with their children. teachers need consent. if a parent wants to spank their kid, who cares. it's not the option I would use, because I know much better ways. see, the problem is that parents fold too easily, and the kids never learn a lesson. if you tell your kid, bed after dinner, no exceptions. if you tell your kid, no TV, no snacks for a week, follow through with it. parents are idiots.
Well we half agree [believe it or not Glad to read that other ways in dealing with our children besides spanking is accepted. My parents were awkward with the whole spanking thing [and my mother could never out-run us anyway] but when I did get hit it was when my folks where angry & not able to control their anger [the worst time to inflict punishment on a child].
Setting limits with kids is very important & inappropriate school behavior needs to be dealt with immediately [ie meeting with teachers so child can see unity between school & home]. My sister had to put her mattress outside her son's bedroom door in order to stop him for leaving the house at night. Going to school with the kid makes them feel humiliated in front of their peers [like sitting in the classroom]. You can be sure there is going to be improved school performance for fear of the intense embarrassment of mom chaperoning sonny class to class. Supervision of children/teens requires consistency between parents & firm expectations that the child fully participate in house chores. An every evening "family time" has great benefits for role modeling to our kids w/ straight talk & making sure everyone has a voice [lots of praise & affection\play. These parenting techniques work without ever having to pick up a belt or scream profanities at your child.
I used spanking to train my beatiful American Bulldog, and it worked quiet well. I hated doing it, but many times just telling her no, or trying to force her to do what I needed her to do was not enough. A quick tap on the butt always put her in a much more eager to please mode. I always followed up here newly found good behavior with treats, reward, and lots of praise. If I would have kicked the crap out of her and not given any positive reinforcement after the fact, I would have just turned her into either a violent dog or a cowering dog who was afraid of everything. So once again, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. I'm not surprised California is worried about putting big daddy government in people's homes to tell them how to behave. Its not like they have any other more pressing issues right now.
The legislation includes social workers helping parents learn better parenting skills & expand pre-school\after school supervision [nutrition\ sports\ arts\ job opportunities for students to help tutor\coach\maintenance of gym-classrooms. Schwarzenegger proposed this in 2002 & it was passed overwhelmingly [but not funded Now the Democrats want to add the anti-spanking amendment to it so parents have resources other than spanking. Quite simple & very beneficial to the community.
Corporal punishment is against the law in Canada...I guess we are doomed according to all those that advocate abuse against children...Strange that our crime statistics do not reflect that.
A comparison of police-reported crime rates between Canada and the United States for 2000 shows that the U.S. has much higher rates of violent crime,
Corporal punishment is against the law in Canada...I guess we are doomed according to all those that advocate abuse against children...Strange that our crime statistics do not reflect that.
A comparison of police-reported crime rates between Canada and the United States for 2000 shows that the U.S. has much higher rates of violent crime,
But Canada friends I know tell me folks are all mixed up, and a preacher can't even say it's wrong to be gay.
Many in the US stick with their own, and do not give immarants a open arms welcome, and don't give gays the time of day. Yes,,I know some welcome all,,but theres a large # that will not mix well with ''others''.
Do you know of anyplace in Canada that the folks will drive ten miles out of the way to buy from their own kind? I seen the two immagrant stores get ''starved out'' in the same county here and they been sitting empty a long time. If the locals were to be given a loan to buy them,,they'd been flooded with biz. Those two stores had intrest free loans handed to the immagrants that wanted to buy them. Just think, the locals were willing to pay high intrest if need be to get them,,but no...they were turn down. The immagrants came here knowing they'd have it handed to them though. It's a shame they couldn't get more biz from the locals rather than getting starved out.
No law says the locals must buy from them, they can drive to the next county if need be to trade.
Spankin' or not spankin' kids has nothing to do with that.
Last edited by RS-1080; 08-21-2008 at 01:05 AM..
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Glad to read that other ways in dealing with our children besides spanking is accepted. My parents were awkward with the whole spanking thing [and my mother could never out-run us anyway] but when I did get hit it was when my folks where angry & not able to control their anger [the worst time to inflict punishment on a child].
Now the Democrats want to add the anti-spanking amendment to it so parents have resources other than spanking. Quite simple & very beneficial to the community.
