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Not only does the U.S have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world, but (this should really anger conservatives) the highest teen abortion rate. Incidentally, the rate dropped 36% from 1988 to 2005 but rose after that. Americans being sexually repressed has a lot to do with it. It may have even been higher in the 50's but then the parents were usually married.
I think years back many teens married and were miserable for most of their lives in these marriages and it was all because of some momentary fun in the back seat of a car.
I also think that once women were expected/allowed to go to school and get jobs and be self supporting many chose that path and lugging a kid around did not fit into the picture.
Believe me, if there were a reversible and safe operation to sterilize a woman many mothers would have this done to their teenage daughters so their lives would be more fulfilling and not include the randomness and chaos a kid can heap on their futures.
Having and rearing a child is a lot of responsibility and should be thought out and planned for. Our lives are unstable enough without bringing in a second generation of kids with even less probability of good lives.
We are no longer in the days of ma and pa Kettle and live like barnyard animals. Our brains should be capable of overcoming our biology. We can at least not be victims of our biology.
And there are a lot of bitter old women now who feel that life cheated them.
They also, some at least, feel like second class citizens to men because either many don't have a serious career due to the pressures of child rearing or they have to work three times as hard as a man does. Under this sort of pressure something has to give and often it is the attention that every child deserves.
Animals survive, somehow. People are supposed to train and plan and create their own destinies. We do not, as most animals, miraculously obtain all we need for a good survival when we reach adulthood. We have created a different sort of society.
If they had better judgment they would be called adults and be allowed to legally make their own decisions. Kids mess up, and they don't get their genitals on their nineteenth birthday. So when they mess up, it is important to teach them to take responsibility for their actions and to not make things worse by destroying an innocent child. Bristol took responsibility for her actions.
Bristol had folks who set her up in her own condo. When there is money in the family life becomes a lot easier. I guess you're right, though. These girls can always live on the dole and we can, as a society, pay for their sloppiness.
That IS what you mean, right?
Yes, we have become too comfortable with teen pregnancy. When I was in H.S. in the late 60's, a friend of mine got pregnant and it was a huge "scandal", and she had to go to a special school for unwed mothers to finish her education. I was a bit slow, and didn't have sex until 21. I really had no interest in it earlier - I was concerned about cheerleading, proms, going to parties, etc. I guess they don't think that way now.
Now, they have child care in the schools! That just blows me away. There is no stigma attached to it anymore, and I think there should be.
But, like everything now, it's all "ok", no matter what the consequences are. If "everyone" in H.S. is having sex, then birth control ought to be taught on a DAILY basis in their classes, and access should be there for everyone to get it, any time they want it. If it's really that rampant, then we have to get it out into the open, and try to stop diseases and pregnancy. Those parents who don't want their kids to have sex education are nuts.
As an adopted child of an unwed mother who went away to have me, nobody thingks of the consequences and the lives that it effects. I recently met my birthmother after 46 years, and she still lives with regret. IWhat happened to the moral fabric of our society? It happened decades ago and is still happening now. It is up to the parent's to educate the children and the communication should be an ongoing event.
what do you mean by "comfy"? I consider every teen pregnancy and unplanned out of wedlock pregnancy a real tragedy. It is not acceptable in this day and age to have this sort of thing happen. I am also sad that so many teens are having sex. I consider a teen to be a child, not a young adult. And teens have to be kept focused on their studies and doing sports and fun activities so that their focus is less on having sex in their spare time. And there should be easy access to birth control pills and condoms for all teens having sex. It's not shameful to have teenage sex, but it is a great shame for them to get pregnant.
I think that all people shouldn't start having babies until they are at least 25 years old and know what they want to do with their lives. Until then, their families and mentors should be encouraging them to finish school and find a career. Even if a young woman plans to be a stay at home mother, she should have decent work skills just in case of an emergency situation where she needs to go to work (husband disabled, or helping one of her children pay for college etc...)
I have read many threads here and elsewhere basically shrugging off the issue of teens having unprotected sex and getting pregnant with such comments as, "all teens have sex" and "it happens all the time" as if there was nothing that could have prevented it.
As the parent of a 17 year old I can assure you that an unplanned teen pregnancy would be a HUGE deal (as it was when I was growing up). I was so fearful of the consequences I was a virgin until I was an adult, well after high school and had sex only after a trip to Planned Parenthood for birth control. My daughter is the same. She knows how to protect herself and what the consequences to her life will be if she doesn't. She knows about emergency contraception and where and how to get it.
Does this make us closer to the norm, or are we freaks?
I'm going to assume that you are a parent who was born sometime in the sixties, which put you squarely in Gen-X. The short answer is: no, you are not freaks. You are very typical of your generation.
We were born during a time of great social strife and, as such, we basically raised ourselves while many of our parents were on paths of self-discovery. Some of us went wild while others merely watched our friends go off the deep end. In any case, we have experienced a bit of an awakening in raising our own children, who we do not want to struggle they way we did, so we are generally much more attentive parents than the ones we had.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 07-22-2010 at 12:09 PM..
And there are a lot of bitter old women now who feel that life cheated them.
They also, some at least, feel like second class citizens to men because either many don't have a serious career due to the pressures of child rearing or they have to work three times as hard as a man does. Under this sort of pressure something has to give and often it is the attention that every child deserves.
Spoken like a true Boomer. It might surprise to know that younger mothers are not necessarily in agreement with you. Kids raised during the "find yourself" years of the '60s and '70s are still reeling from absent, workaholic parents. We are part of a reactionary generation and remain unconvinced that women can have it all, because we received the short end of the stick when our mothers flooded into the workplace. Beware of linear thinking. We were not raised in the same world you were.
I agree to a point, but when two kids are alone with raging hormones, really, the last thing they want to do is say 'no'.
If it happens to be after a disagreement with an unreasonable mom and dad the probabilities increase that 'yes' will be the answer.
At a certain age most kids feel more kinship with their friends, who are going through what they are and who understand them, than with the parents who usually say 'no' to a whole lot of stuff.
If a teenaged girl has a dad who is busy working hard and relating to his adult world for her sake, but cannot take the time to just 'be' with her, and show how much he likes her company and how valuable she is to him, she often, at that age, looks for male acceptance elsewhere.
It is not about just lecturing or threatening them.
Many average American families lay the groundwork, much in innocence on their part, in their teen girls getting pregnant.
The least that can be done is to give them ALL the info possible. Yes, tell them to just say no, but tell them about birth control, too.
Maybe the most important thing is that they feel loved even through their teen years and that they have a future to look forward to of work and study and contributing to the world so their lives have a meaning other than having a family.
A girl who sees herself as a future astronaut, no matter what the parents may believe about this, might think by having sex with Tommy she will lessen her chances at seeing her dreams become reality. A girl with nothing to look forward to after high school might think that pushing Tommy into marrying her looks better than staying home with mom and dad.
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Has everyone become comfy with teen pregnancy?
