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Spanking, and other forms of punishment are not ideal. I think that people who need to resort to spanking are those who lack patience and the intelligence to outsmart a child. Sure it drives home a message, but it also creates anger and resentment towards the parent. The effects of punishment are short-lived as well; many times the child does not learn a lessson because they don't understand the reasons behind the aggression, it was not explained to them. All they've learned is that mommy or daddy will get angry. Kids will find alternate ways to undermine the parent and get/do what they want without getting in trouble because the parent doesn't know about it. It sends mixed signals and creates mistrust.
Better methods involve the use of positive and negative reinforcement. However, this involves some planning and anticipation of bad bahavior before it happens. I think spanking is often learned as acceptable behavior through parents, so a child who was spanked is more likely to spank his/her children. Very similar to patterns of abuse and bullying.
When I was spanked as a child, I would say 95% of the time I did not deserve it. It was usually an accident that occurred that I wound up taking the blame for because my father hit first and asked questions later. Because of that I was always unsure of whether I should love him or fear him. There is a fine line between spanking and hitting, and sometimes that line is crossed.
I think its a personal thing & nobodies buisness how someone raises their child.
Now, if a kid comes in to school obviously battered thats one thing but this idea that spanking is just wrong is absurd.
Spanking, and other forms of punishment are not ideal. I think that people who need to resort to spanking are those who lack patience and the intelligence to outsmart a child. Sure it drives home a message, but it also creates anger and resentment towards the parent. The effects of punishment are short-lived as well; many times the child does not learn a lessson because they don't understand the reasons behind the aggression, it was not explained to them. All they've learned is that mommy or daddy will get angry. Kids will find alternate ways to undermine the parent and get/do what they want without getting in trouble because the parent doesn't know about it. It sends mixed signals and creates mistrust.
Better methods involve the use of positive and negative reinforcement. However, this involves some planning and anticipation of bad bahavior before it happens. I think spanking is often learned as acceptable behavior through parents, so a child who was spanked is more likely to spank his/her children. Very similar to patterns of abuse and bullying.
When I was spanked as a child, I would say 95% of the time I did not deserve it. It was usually an accident that occurred that I wound up taking the blame for because my father hit first and asked questions later. Because of that I was always unsure of whether I should love him or fear him. There is a fine line between spanking and hitting, and sometimes that line is crossed.
First of all I'd like to see sources for your claims. I'd also like to know if you have kids.
I have 2 daughters, one is 9 months, the other is almost 3 years old. Before I had a child I was completely against spanking. I thought it was brutal and pledged to never do it. My mind changed once I had kids. I've never spanked the 9 month old but her older sister has been spanked probably 6 times in her life. It worked very well. You can't reason with someone without reasoning skills. Time-out wouldn't work because she had no idea of what I was trying to get her to do. She would get up, I'd put her back, rinse, wash, repeat. Spanking worked so I did it. Not because I was lazy or stupid, but because nothing else worked. Now that she is older I can put her in time-out. The most effective thing I do now is use gentle scolding. I haven't had to spank her in months and I doubt she will even be able to remember it when she gets older. Don't get me wrong. I only started spanking when all other efforts wore-out. In the hands of a responsible and intelligent parent, spanking can be very effective without causing resentment.
When I was growing up I was always yelled at; I wish I were spanked.
You said, "other forms of punishment are not ideal." It's part of a parents job to punish their child; it would be very irresponsible not to.
I don't have children, but if I did, I would never hurt them or anyone for that matter. I was never hit as child, but I think sometimes words can hurt the most.
no it should not be illegal. as a nation, rights have been rolled back so very very far. i am less than pleased with the results. our basic concept of punishment as being useful and necessary to us at the child or adult level is on the line.
this is not working well at all. a giant experiment gone sour.
I disagree. Emotional scars run much deeper, and cause more-long term damage.
Are you saying that if a parent makes a child feel shame for misbehaving, that the parents are guilty of doing long-term emotional damage to the child?
Originally Posted by arod0331
I disagree. Emotional scars run much deeper, and cause more-long term damage.
I was spanked as a child.. man that was a long long time ago.. I turned out fine. Look at me!
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Rearing mechanism?
