Is bullying becoming the norm in America? (enemy, party, gay people)

[Chatteress]

Originally Posted by JTraik

People haven't gotten meaner, you have become more easily offended... so typical of thin skinned people these days who can't handle listening to the things they don't want to hear... The age of entitlement and political correctness, its utterly disgusting and lame.

You've really hit the nail on the head.

[artsyguy]

I've noticed the bullies are the first ones to get hurt, conspire or get revenge when something is done to them.

Originally Posted by msconnie73

You've really hit the nail on the head.

[Chatteress]

Originally Posted by HowDeDo

'What do you think is causing it? Are people meaner since 9/11? Is it due to the economy? Is it related to the media, ie, TV shows or the Internet, ie My Space? Is the younger generation, who in general is more socially aggressive, to blame? Is it because gays got the right to marry?
'

REPLY: Its a combination of a few things ; certainly some which youve alluded to . But the biggest reasons i see for it are :

1. A volitional decision of the populus to embrace Post Modernisms philosophies (which encourages narcissism, racism, and lack of community) thereby pushing aside and even scorning morals, ethics, and principles of the Christian Faith on which this Country was desired by its Founders and which remained in effect until circa 1960 . There are no moral or social standards .... a compass in which to live by and treat others according to.... so peoples actions/behavior/and motives are based on impulsive feelings instead of sound rationale and absolute truth.

2. The tremendous influence of a Mass Media that is relentless at promoting violence , retribution, retalliation , beating your opponent to a pulp and revelling in it, using others for sexual fulfillment , entitlement, getting ahead in life thru power/ control/ and unethical behaviour so SELF can be glorified.

3. Another major player in all of this, is the increase of stress in ones daily life ; whether it comes thru a massive Corporate Layoff of workers, Divorce, Children not being raised by both Parents, over population , and perhaps Americas most popular notion of living beyond ones means.

Awesome points

[Chatteress]

Originally Posted by karfar

Oh yeah, I think the advent of cellphones has increased the level of rudeness in all social aspects. I used to have a friend who would, no lie, sit on my couch, at a table at a bar, etc. & just text away the entire time. When my friend from Malaysia was here for a short time, we went to a bar & hung out outside. Instead of sitting w/us & getting to know him better, she spent the entire time texting. I find that sort of behavior reprehensible & very telling of a persons character.

I agree. I was once in a group setting and two people in the group were texting each other instead of including us in their discussion. Now that's rude!

[jtur88]

Originally Posted by karfar

I have, from everything to the idiots on the road to cashiers who can't even be bothered to say hi & thank you, like they're putting themselves out if they had to say three words.

They're getting paid $6 an hour, their job is to ring it up for the man.

[Chatteress]

Originally Posted by saganista

What <odanny> said. It's the vicious and vindictive mindset of the right that has set the tone, and if the level of inane insult displayed on C-D since the election is any indicator, we're a long, long way from being out of that woods yet...

So right-wingers are the source of all rudeness in America.

[Chatteress]

Originally Posted by TnHilltopper

Chances are, a large part is that you are getting older. Every generation sees the younger generation as contemptuous, rowdy, and lacking in respect. The fact that they are also more contemptuous, rowdy and lacking in respect doesn't help matters any either.

Of course there is this odd thing in our culture today that seems like child worship to me, but I'm not sure what you call it. I listen to parents carry on about how they don't need to spank their lovely children because unlike everyone elses kids, their children are reasonable, rational and respond to time outs and rational discussions.

Marketing agencies spend more of their resources marketing to children and tweens than even adults as nothing sells better or gets into an adults pocketbook easier than a child pulling on a parents pant leg... mommy, mommy, I want I want. So child worship starts with an embrace by all parties at a very young age.

Politician wants a piece of unpopular legislation to pass, all that is needed is to add "If it saves the life of just one child, isn't it worth it", I mean who in their right mind would vote for something denying children of anything. Just ask the people of Tampa Bay who got a football stadium rammed down their throats because after attempting many times to get legislation to pass for a stadium, it finally did when people were given the choice, vote for a stadium AND police, schools, and firemen, or get NOTHING... think of the children for gods sake man!

There was an attempt to remove the "F" grade from Florida schools because the word, "fail" my upset and hurt the feelings of little Johnny and little Susie. Lets remove score keeping from children's soccer and tball games so the little ones won't get their feelings hurt if they lose.

Now I'm not advocating the beating of children or being overly harsh as some kind of solution, but in the greater scheme of things there is a trend to remove the risk-reward, the action-consequence from our youth. The first time many kids today learn of things like coping with failure is at their first job.

There is also this strange tendency that I believe to be at least in part a result of the 60's/babyboomer era of love, peace and tolerance that has been applied to child raising. Many parents view a child as a miniature adult that can be reasoned with in a rational manner like other adults. Of course children will often then have a tendency to view the adult as an equal and will use what they believe to be equal use of language, even though the context is still very much child.

It doesn't help that we worship sports figures and celebrities, treat our political process like a Myspace popularity contest among personalities, have a media institution that promotes all of the above, and a national mindset of egocentric exceptionalism and mass narcissism, since after all, we are better, special, and unique, just like everyone else. And citizen, if you are feeling not so exceptional today, or maybe even a little blue, try this nice little pill and all your troubles will vanish in a warm, fuzzy and vaporous all embracing warmth. One could just as easily make an argument that adults are far more child like than they have have been, just look at how we interact with each other.

The "ME" generation showed up in the 60's and has endured ever since. Now the "ME" generation has gone into the business of raising children, only now they don't know how to raise a family, just bring a child to adulthood. In its attempts to shield children from the effects of folly of the world we have filled it with fools.

The alternative might be what is known as, "depressive realism" and who wants all that icky realism stuff... bleh.

You are now free to throw maters... I deserve it after that dose of cynicism.

Excellent points. Also, parents no longer teach children discipline and patience. The "it's all about me" and the "I want it now" generation.

[TnHilltopper]

Originally Posted by JTraik

People haven't gotten meaner, you have become more easily offended... so typical of thin skinned people these days who can't handle listening to the things they don't want to hear... The age of entitlement and political correctness, its utterly disgusting and lame.

Originally Posted by harborlady

There's an old adage-- never talk religion or politics in polite company. Well folks, here we all are talking in a political forum and 'polite company' is the thing that gets dropped? Not good.

I noticed when I lived in NY we had a habit of blurting out the truth. That hurts some southerners feelings but in my cultural upbringing I welcomed being told the truth because it was an empowering thing. A gift of constructive criticism- priceless. Opinions of others didn't crush me when the source was to be considered. Raised street savvy, maybe? Others are too emotionally weak to hear it. This other breed of 'truth telling' is vindictive. There isn't intent to help behind it. There also isn't truth backing it up. The intent is to belittle another and bolster a false sense of superiority.

Originally Posted by harborlady

Americans sleep less, work longer hours, work more hours in a week, have less time off, less vacation time, less benefits... and have less to show for all of it relative to industrialized counterparts. I think that's got more to do with why Americans have ratcheted up the nasty.

The most freakish part about it is they're always projecting their anger at all the wrong people, and I hardly believe that's coincidence when it happens so consistently.

One particular tendency we seem to have and that is to externalize the cause. Like in so many other subjects and issues, it is always "the other guys fault". I didn't spill hot coffee in my lap, McDonald's made it too hot, its their fault. I didn't slip on accident in Walmart, they didn't put the yellow sign exactly in the middle of the aisle. My kids would never pick on someone elses kids, those kids must have provoked my kids. etc...

To better relate this to this discussion, I point to Jtraik, to which I agree with. People are way too thin skinned these days and get offended over every little thing. However, I can also see that we as a society keep pushing the envelope of what is offensive further and further out. At our current rate, in 10 years we will walk up to someone who looked at us cross eyed and just say, up yours you jack***, and walk away.

As harborlady mentioned the approach to conversation between the classic New Yorker and that of traditional Southern good manners (to whatever extent they still exist) I'm reminded by the manner in which old movies depicted the chivalry of the old south or that of old England where two men have a polite conversation as they are about to engage in a duel. "Fine day to kill you ole chap... Ah yes indeed mate, fine day, and may your aim be good friend....bang!"

Why we seem to be in a race to see who can be the most offensive, most obnoxious, etc... is beyond me but as another member pointed out, it might just be a means to get noticed in a crowded world. I don't really know for sure but in our attempts to define deviancy down, we have gotten to the point where we have begun to dehumanize all but ourselves. Kinda sad really.

[harborlady]

TNhill note that I rarely speak in third party narrative. Deliberate choice.

One of the many reasons I left NY (my hometown) was because I discovered that I wasn't allowing myself permission to be human. Yes, I was doing it to myself. I was socialized to do it. That's what it cost me to live there. I came to the conclusion that price was too high.

Thin skinned? How many layers of armor should a human being be obliged to wear? What's more, how is this civilization worthy of contribution if this is the product? I prefer living south and odd as it sounds the people in my current neighborhood are a lot like the one I was raised in (simpler times). They haven't bothered with convoluted compromises separating themselves from what's important in life. They're much wiser than they've been credited.

Maybe it's because I'm older? I don't know. I do know what I won't accept in my life, and what bell I'll never answer again. It sure is nice to have my shoulders out of my ears. I always thought that was normal. How about them apples?

[TnHilltopper]

Originally Posted by harborlady

TNhill note that I rarely speak in third party narrative. Deliberate choice.

One of the many reasons I left NY (my hometown) was because I discovered that I wasn't allowing myself permission to be human. Yes, I was doing it to myself. I was socialized to do it. That's what it cost me to live there. I came to the conclusion that price was too high.

Thin skinned? How many layers of armor should a human being be obliged to wear? What's more, how is this civilization worthy of contribution if this is the product? I prefer living south and odd as it sounds the people in my current neighborhood are a lot like the one I was raised in (simpler times). They haven't bothered with convoluted compromises separating themselves from what's important in life. They're much wiser than they've been credited.

Maybe it's because I'm older? I don't know. I do know what I won't accept in my life, and what bell I'll never answer again. It sure is nice to have my shoulders out of my ears. I always thought that was normal. How about them apples?

To the extent of the thickness of our skin, I view this as the response to the level of accepted dialog. Subject human skin to high levels of UV for a few hundred generations and we are all liable to take on a more Armadillo like quality.

Since I cannot any more control that which is tossed at me, be it general rudeness, type of language, or gestures, my only control lay in my response. To which I can either not respond, respond with a higher order of rebuttal, or choose to engage in the seemingly ubiquitous race to the bottom. I would prefer we didn't need such thick skin to get along, but for the time being it appears we either do or go through life in constant outrage.

I would also think that outside of societal trends that there may also be environmental factors involved. Cases of things like allergies, spectrum disorders such as Autism, Aspergers, ADHD, ADD, etc... are all on the rise and may also contribute overall behavior trends.

I would also be curious as to see what effect population density has on personal interactions. It certainly seems city folks are much more up front and blunt in the manner in which they communicate as compared to people living in more rural areas.

Age would certainly be a factor, be it due to hormonal levels or merely life's experiences and the realization that fewer sunsets lay ahead than behind. Perspective is a powerful thing.