Is it unfortunate to be an Asian male? (Mexicans, compare, county)
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Why are you stereotyping most asians as perpetual foreigners. There are Asians who have been here for 5 generations that do not giggle with their hands over their mouths and are as American as anybody else.
I don't believe I ever said anything about asians being perpetual foreigners.
Like all ethnicities, as generations continue to be born here in the states, cultural traditions are typically lost.
Why are people so offended by this is the more important question. Almost every immigrant that lands in this country throughout all of history had cultural traditions that were not in line with what we currently view as "Americanism". That isn't a bad thing.
I am simply stating that in the asian culture, specifically Korean and Chinese that women and children are submissive.
As far as Americanized Asian guys. Sure you have a point. Even still though, culturally, the asian household traditionally favors a more dominate role for the males.
This isn't just asian either. Evengelical christians very often take the bible very literally and expact that a women and children are submissive to the male.
I'm Asian and I come from a Christian family. The women in my family are definitely not submissive. I actually wished my mother was less dominant. Not in the meaning of letting my father go away with things that are not right, but the way it was, she actually trampled down my father's dignity. Oh well, she's actually learned to be more submissive (in a loving way) these last couple of years. All of us were amazed at how much change it's brought into our family. Positive changes, to our surprise. My father has been able to assert himself more, obviously more comfortable being with her at home. He didn't cheat on her before but he'd find ways to avoid going home.
The females (aunts, female cousins) from my mother's side of the family have always been dominant. And to be frank, I hated it. Because I'm Asian? Maybe. All I know is since she started to soften up a bit, things have been looking up.
Guess I've spilled too much of my family's story here. Have you tried watching the video again? I think it'd work this time.
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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jcarlilesiu:I am simply stating that in the asian culture, specifically Korean and Chinese that women and children are submissive.
Oh Lordy! How I wish you could have met our 17-year-old Chinese foreign exchange student girl!! Submissive -- hardly a word I'd even utter about her! Dominant, obstinate, oppositional, argumentative -- those adjectives I'd use...but submissive -- never. "One Child Policy," remember? "Little Emperor?" Submissive: how about "I'm so special because I'm the only one, you must now bow down to me as my parent, friend, whatever...."
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Neutre:The females (aunts, female cousins) from my mother's side of the family have always been dominant. And to be frank, I hated it. Because I'm Asian? Maybe.
I hate to say it, but that's a pretty male opinion -- no nationality bias. Guys tend to like their females more submissive -- period.
Obviously, what I say doesn't matter that much because I'm an older white female. I'm the one whose daughter is (still) dating her Chinese (born in China, been here 11 years) boyfriend, whom she won't "spiff up" because she doesn't want other women hijacking him from her!!
Come on guys. I don't know what age group most of you are in, and I don't know which women you're asking out, but I know an awful lot of younger girls (teens, early-mid-twenties) who love Asian guys (you can thank anime and manga for that!). And don't forget Korean pop!
And sometimes the chemistry is just not there....gees, just get out there and start hanging out with some women you want to ask out. If you're hanging out with traditional materialistic women who have no culture, education, or interests, then it doesn't matter if you're white or Asian -- they're still looking for that Sugar Daddy who will give them lots of money candy! No one's happy but the lady getting her money!
So, find a real, down-to-earth, smart, cute girl who is a bit nerdy herself (my daughter is quite attractive, by the way), and into other cultures, languages, and world music.
Personally, as an American, even I don't fit into this society! I'm a more alternative person, I happen to like culture and all kinds of music, people, reading, writing, traveling, and I'm not materialistic....maybe you guys are just going after the wrong type of girl. And maybe you're not paying attention when those little cuties go by and give you the eye!
You've got to at least try -- but be realistic -- pick someone who has similar interests, is interested in culture, is smart (I think that's a biggie), and don't fall into the "Oh, she's so pretty" trap, when there may be nothing in common!
You know, sometimes you just have to try. Remember that old saying: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
Good luck guys! I KNOW there are some very pretty women you'd never suspect are into Asian guys....you just gotta have the nerve to find them and ask them out!
Last edited by Wisteria; 03-16-2010 at 12:35 PM..
Reason: typo
I'm sorry, I tried to look at this topic from many different angles and honestly, the entire point of discussion in and how it was stated by the OP is really just... well... stupid.
I don't believe I ever said anything about asians being perpetual foreigners.
Like all ethnicities, as generations continue to be born here in the states, cultural traditions are typically lost.
Why are people so offended by this is the more important question. Almost every immigrant that lands in this country throughout all of history had cultural traditions that were not in line with what we currently view as "Americanism". That isn't a bad thing.
I am simply stating that in the asian culture, specifically Korean and Chinese that women and children are submissive.
You don't have to say it, it shows in your post you have stereotypes of the model minority, quiet nerdy submissive Asian. Then you verify that with the Koreans and Chinese are submissive. Shows that you obviously don't know any Korean's or Chinese Americans. Even Korean women from Korea that I know are very dominant and take no shi*. That can be said about other Asian Nationalities as well. It's not the 1840's. Your post is ridiculous.
Oh Lordy! How I wish you could have met our 17-year-old Chinese foreign exchange student girl!! Submissive -- hardly a word I'd even utter about her! Dominant, obstinate, oppositional, argumentative -- those adjectives I'd use...but submissive -- never. "One Child Policy," remember? "Little Emperor?" Submissive: how about "I'm so special because I'm the only one, you must now bow down to me as my parent, friend, whatever...."
I hate to say it, but that's a pretty male opinion -- no nationality bias. Guys tend to like their females more submissive -- period.
Obviously, what I say doesn't matter that much because I'm an older white female. I'm the one whose daughter is (still) dating her Chinese (born in China, been here 11 years) boyfriend, whom she won't "spiff up" because she doesn't want other women hijacking him from her!!
Thanks Wisteria. That's was exactly what I was trying to say. Saying Asian women are submissive is just not true.
In Indonesia a lot of cultures and societies are matrilineal where the family name comes from the mother and where women have the say. The statement "Asian women are submissive" is pretty mind-boggling for me, because I've experienced firsthand that they're not.
As for the male vs female opinion. I have a sister, and we both agree that things have gotten better since our mother softened up. It's not that our parents were fighting all the time. That happened when we were little, but the tension between the two was just enormous, and both me and my sister agree that our mother was the dominant one. So dominant that our father "retreated". She did demeaning stuff, directly and indirectly, to our father to the point that we also developed a certain disinclination towards him, and it was as if we had to choose between her and him. It was hellaceous I don't even want to think about that time.
On the other side, I have to admit that I am attracted to dominant women , and there's more than enough Asian females who are. Though I definitely don't restrict myself only to Asian females. A lot of Blacks, Latinos, and Whites are attractive too.
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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Neutre: As for the male vs female opinion. I have a sister, and we both agree that things have gotten better since our mother softened up. It's not that our parents were fighting all the time. That happened when we were little, but the tension between the two was just enormous, and both me and my sister agree that our mother was the dominant one. So dominant that our father "retreated". She did demeaning stuff, directly and indirectly, to our father to the point that we also developed a certain disinclination towards him, and it was as if we had to choose between her and him. It was hellaceous I don't even want to think about that time.
On the other side, I have to admit that I am attracted to dominant women , and there's more than enough Asian females who are. Though I definitely don't restrict myself only to Asian females. A lot of Blacks, Latinos, and Whites are attractive too.
Glad I could give that example -- in fact, all of the Asian women I've known (and this going back quite a time, too) have been rather assertive. I always thought it was an outdated notion that they were submissive -- like when they bound women's feet in China....but stereotypes can persist.
As for your mom and her interaction with your dad - you have to remember that a lot of it is just personality. And if a lot of it was when you were little, having children is very stressful -- it is also rewarding, but it's hard. So depending on the situation, it could have just been overload for your mom.
Nationalities have certain cultural things about them, but when push comes to shove, it is the natural personality that emerges. Sometimes it's just the personal dynamics between people, and I think many forget that. People are people on the inside, and each person is different. I don't know why people get so hung up on the outside appearance stuff, when what's inside is much more important.
There are all kinds of psychological reasons you can conjure up for various couplings with people -- sometimes they are healthy, sometimes they are not. And if often takes time (I often recommend two years) with a person to see the true inner personality reveal itself.
For you, the best thing to do is to just be aware of what you observed growing up, and determining for yourself what you want in a relationship -- regardless of nationality. Some people are attracted to weaker personalities, some stronger -- but the bottom line is they need to be healthy. Granted, it's not that common for sincerely healthy relationships (the media has distorted that and created a "happily forever after" myth). Relationships, no matter with whom you are involved, take great work. For some reason, your mother softened up a bit, which seemed to have helped the entire family.
But that's family dynamics, in general. Again, there are no boundaries on that. Some people are just who they are.... One thing I have always taught my daughter (through my own hard-learning) is that "What you see, is what you get." You cannot change or mold people into what you want them to be. They are who they are -- like it or not. IF they change for the better on their own, then great -- if not, well, just always beware and never think you can change someone. Find someone with whom you feel comfortable and happy with but also know that who they are is who they will probably be for the rest of their lives. The basic personality is formed around age 25 -- after that, it's rare that you see a huge transformation -- it can be done, however, most people do not do the work, nor have the resources to do so.
I guess that's why I have a hard time with categorizing people. People really are just who they are -- no matter what they look like, nor where they came from. We are all different, regardless. So, choose wisely for a partner. Look for essential qualities that can carry you through good times and hard times. I've always told people that life is like a heart monitor -- if it is not going up and down, then you are not living. And it's true. Nothing is perfect. There are always ups and downs in life. We wish it was perfect, but it's not. Knowing ahead of time that life is a big bag of mixtures will be helpful to choose a partner knowingly.
Stereotypes, whether they be old or new, had some basis in reality at some point in time -- that's how they developed. However....and this is the important part -- they did not and never will apply to every person and they are constantly in flux. I'm not sure why people get so hung up on certain stereotypes -- perhaps because some people don't want to face change. Change can be difficult. But your mom is making changes, and those changes appear to be better. So, people can change -- but.....always, always accept the person for who they are at that point in time, because there is no guarantee that they will ever change.
And that is how inter-racial relationships came about -- those people who could see beneath to the personality inside -- beyond superficiality. They "recognized" the "real" person inside -- that is the most important feature. There are no guarantees in relationships, but to go in with your eyes open gives you at least a fighting chance!
Life is tricky, and relationships are even trickier. If one is just naturally physically attracted to a certain type...they still have to see how that person is as a personality....the outside does not necessarily reveal the inside.
I know many people who tried to change people -- it never worked! In fact, it often blew up! Now, I know for sure that you just can't change people. It's tolerance for our own personalities. Some we'll like, some we won't.
Good luck to you -- you seem like a nice guy. (I loved your video, too -- very funny!)
o.k all this has been sad and funny to read and learn that as all human beings we all have prejudices and preferences regarding there race it doesn't mean one race is better or purer than the other. We can all learn from one another through open and honest and constructive communication. i am curious about asian males because i have alway loved different cultures of all men attractive especially asian men. But seriously as a woman and human being who has been free since the day i was born. We should all realize that we are free to love who we want and live in a society that is as colorful and the fruit in a basket. So if there are asian men who are doubting there masculinity or how they are viewed in the media as a whole , remember you are not alone .
I would definitely date an Asian man (I'm a black woman). My only reluctance would be:
1. Many Asians aren't Christians, and for me, that's a deal-breaker since I highly value my Jesus-lifestyle and I want a man who lives a Jesus-lifestyle, too.
2. Many Asian men, from what I see, seem to be short. I'm 5'8" and I like tall men. I don't know if I've ever seen an Asian man at or close to 6' tall.
3. They seem to have small feet... and if that adage is true..... well.... uhh....
Responding to Neutre, this is new to me so if get it wrong or erased your quote sorry. you are not displaying too much info at all. i think african american woman and chinease and korean woman are very similar in the role they play as wives and aunts and sisters. This is so cool cause i am really seeing how similar cultures are
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Submissive Asian females
, and there's more than enough Asian females who are. Though I definitely don't restrict myself only to Asian females. A lot of Blacks, Latinos, and Whites are attractive too. 
