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^wearing a condom and using birth control!!! And if you have already messed up, give it up for adoption (babies are always wanted, even ones with disabilities...and adopted babies end up more well-off than non-adopted children. But im against gay parents because it is hard for their children). Or have a shot-gun wedding
While I agree with your sentiments on birth control, at any given time there are currently 100,000+ children in the United States waiting for adoption, many of whom age out, and arguably even a single parent is preferable to no parents. I am not sure of your position on abortion, but if it were banned those numbers would more than likely increase dramatically, since obviously the vast majority of abortions occur for unwanted pregnancies. It just seems that to rule out single parenting, same-sex parenting and abortion would leave a flood of people waiting for adoption, far more than can be handled through the current system and with the current availability of foster and permanent adoptive families.
im not saying that it should be made illegal, i just think people need to be more careful. A lot of people want to be single parents too, like octomom and those 15 year old girls from MA who made a pact to get pregnant. And i am against abortion...but there are obviously exceptions like rape/possibility to kill mother etc.
I saw this coming several years ago when there was a backlash against nice guys in favor of bad boys. I don't think the majority of unwed mothers wanted to be in that situation, it's just that the men they are most attracted to make the worst potential husbands and fathers.
Welfare programs have also played a role in this trend. Because the saftey net is so generous women have less incentive in choosing a quality man to marry and have children with,.
All of society is worse off because of this, especially the children. I do find it somewhat comforting that the vast majority who took this poll see this trend as negative.
It takes two to make a baby so I personally think men who don't accept responsibility are just as much to blame.
Yes, men are also responsible. Both had sex and made the baby. They should accept their part of responsibility. However, I do not agree they are not as much to blame. I explain that as part of the answer further down.
Why is it we always demonise unwed-mothers ? How about the chaps who were quite happy getting their little bit of fun but never have any intention to behave like real men when it all goes a bit wrong ?
It was a mutual thing. Do not make it as if the woman did have sex for something else besides fun. Very often both did not have intention when it something went wrong. Also, very often women do have sex with the idea that the guy will stick around. Also, very often the get pregnant despite the suggestions and advice to not be with that guy. Very often they think they will change the jerk.
The vast majority of women would welcome support in helping to raise the child . It seems incredibly disingenuous to put all the blame on the female.
In nature many animal do make all the arrangements to make sure the little ones they bring to the world are at least housed. Sometime ago I heard a radio talk host say "Birds make sure to make a nest before they lay eggs, how come American women can't thing abou that?" Also, many women welcome the support but it is very frustrating that many men also do not allow the father to be a dad. They just fight for the money. When a men and a woman have sex for fun with no intent of a future together, they seem to end up hating each other and in the end the child pays the price by being in the middle of a war when the mother only wants the money from the guy and they guy decides not to help since he feels he cannot be a dad.
Contraception is an issue for both parties when sex occurs. I have met so many women who ended up pregnant and were basically abandonned by the father even though they wanted a relationship. This has gone both ways. Many men do want relationships. Many women today have become like men and look at sex for fun only with no real commitment. That is what happens very often when a men and a woman met and in no time end up in bed without really knowing each other as to their plans and futures. Once they have sex one of the two usually end up expecting long term when they do not know each other and the other just had fun in mind. Many women in the past complained of men being afraid of commitment but today women that do not want to commit are told they are free to choose and they will commit when they are ready. That seems to apply only to women, not men when they say the same.
Despite what a lot of people think the majority of women don't get pregnant for the fun of it. Most women do not con men into sexual intercourse simply to have a baby. I disagree, many women do get pregnant thinking they will make the guy stay around.
I don't think the problem is unwed mothers but unwed mothers without support. Raising a child on your own is incredibly difficult especially if you are very young and have nobody to turn to.
Add to that a lot of various socio-economic factors ( such as poverty ) and it is hardly an ideal situation. Easy solution, it may sound old fashion but holding back from sex until marriage worked very well in the past and avoided many headaches. However, you must have sex, how can you live without sex. My God!
But still many women overcome those challenges and are great parents who do the very best they can for their child. Sadly these are not the women the media likes to portray as the hard-working and successful mothers do not have the same potential to whip us all into a frenzy of self-righteous hysteria. Many single mothers are great parents. I agree. However, the issue is the as a whole being a single parents does affect the odds on the children.
The bottom line to me. The women do bear some more blame. Why? She is the one who can decide whether she wants to take chances in getting pregnant or not. It is her body, remember? Is that not what many women say when abortion is discussed? Well, it applies in getting pregnant and the guy has not say so on the issue. So, in the end she is more to blame if she gets pregnant. If the guy uses a condom, it is still not enough. If that is all she relies on, she is taking a huge chance.
Let's look at the men involved once in a while, just for the sake of fairness .
Men are looked at very often. Actually they are also blamed a lot unfairly also.
It depends. Some situations its better if the parents are apart. Sometimes the environment is too toxic for a child. Constant fighting and yelling.
See, the number one indicator of whether or not the child does well is not the number of parents, but rather how large the support system.
No, that's not the case according to all of the research that I've read on the subject. Children from 2 parent families outperform children of single parents in many, many outcomes, such as school grades, criminality, etc.
The nuclear family as we know it is an artificial construct.
I prefer the 'fusion' method of family... Not kidding.
I mean multigenerational extended family, where aunts, uncles, g'parents, etc, live together.
The strange cultural behavior of parents "kicking" their adult children out of the family home is an aberration, IMHO.
If you check back to the 19th century, homes were often much larger, and designed for more occupants. True, some were designed for servants and staff, but many were designed for the blood kin to live long and prosper. (No Vulcan jokes, please)
I can't quite pin down the point in time where the generations no longer could live together in relative harmony. Any ideas?
The other reason is that children really need two parents, it's better for children to have their fathers involved in their lives. Mothers with husbands tend to stay home, bring less strange men into the home, many abusive.
Now if we could just get idiotic and selfish Liberals to understand that having mixed-race kids is unfair to the child, who then forever has to search for an identity.
You're really on a rant tonight against liberals and Democrats. Feeling frustrated?
81% vote for marriage.....gee, who would have thought on city-data?
Now if we could just get idiotic and selfish Liberals to understand that having mixed-race kids is unfair to the child, who then forever has to search for an identity.
How is it unfair to the kid given that segregation laws in the US have been gone for a long time and racial identity in the US has become more fluid?
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