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Over the years I have heard quite a few black women complain about successful black men who date outside there race.
With so many African American men in prison or not having achieved academic success why is this such a surprise? Additionally, there is a historic concern on the part of all women of color that because the societies norm for establish what constitutes beauty is so distorted in favor of white women, (see discussions on Michelle Obama).
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More or less, as a black man who has no desire to live the urban life style and has always seek to live in a more affluent area I find that meeting single, black, attractive females around my age quite CHALLENGING!
I am dying to know what an "urban lifestyle" might be since I find that in urban communities, New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Boston, and Chicago, all urban and affluent areas, interracial dating and relationships are extremely common and accepted.
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As far as what I can see, most of the Afro Americans live in highly concentrated areas and since I chose not to live within that area my opportunity to interact with other blacks females is very slim.
As your thoughts and views of the world become broader you will find that you can't click with as many people you thought you once could. I have lived in a few counties and i find it hard to click with a lot of people who have lived in their bubble there entire life. The reality of this is that AA people make up a small percentage of the population, so if you want to date one with worldly way of life its going to be a little harder. Your best bet is to move near a military base, plenty of worldly black women there. As you expand your horizons it gets harder to date. That's just how it is.
THIS IS SO TRUE!!! It's such a paradox, just as you said.
LOTS of men date outside there race, but within there gender. Others date outside there gender, but within there race. Others date outside BOTH....while still others date WITHIN both.......And some just say "to hell with it" and stay home with there TV set.
Finally, some men are married, and there wives won't let them date ANYONE.
With so many African American men in prison or not having achieved academic success why is this such a surprise? Additionally, there is a historic concern on the part of all women of color that because the societies norm for establish what constitutes beauty is so distorted in favor of white women, (see discussions on Michelle Obama).
I am dying to know what an "urban lifestyle" might be since I find that in urban communities, New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Boston, and Chicago, all urban and affluent areas, interracial dating and relationships are extremely common and accepted.
Then maybe you should move out of Iowa.
Well, when I was living in California, urban to me was downtown Los Angeles and all neighboring cities however, I chose to live in Diamond Bar/Walnut Ca. Now I live in Pennsylvania but I'm out in the burbs (Lansdale) for many reasons but the mainly because the crime is low and the opportunity to make money is higher.
With all due respect, in regards to AA's in prison and low academic performance what does that haft to do with me finding a AA female? Shouldn't the fact (some say myth) that AA males have a higher incarceration rate make a higher AA female to male ratio thereby allowing AA men like me to have more AA females to chose from?
Why do you care what people think of who you date. If you don't associate with the people who have the problem with who you are dating, then you should date who you want, why should you care what they think?
Why over analyze it? Date who you have access to, if not you'll be alone and single.
The problem is, too many people are quick to place some sort of moral value to dating. To date within the race, especially as a black male, automatically puts you on high moral ground, i.e., you're socially responsible and conscientious of furthering the cause of "your people". Any deviation from this status-quo is usually met with skepticism and disdain.
Needless to say, given how this dynamic has often played out in this country, I highly doubt that Obama would be president if Michelle were white.
The problem is, too many people are quick to place some sort of moral value to dating. To date within the race, especially as a black male, automatically puts you on high moral ground, i.e., you're socially responsible and conscientious of furthering the cause of "your people". Any deviation from this status-quo is usually met with skepticism and disdain.
Needless to say, given how this dynamic has often played out in this country, I highly doubt that Obama would be president were Michelle white.
Who cares, do you plan on running for President in 2012?
Date who you want, nevermind what hangups other people have about who you choose to date.
Well, when I was living in California, urban to me was downtown Los Angeles and all neighboring cities however, I chose to live in Diamond Bar/Walnut Ca. Now I live in Pennsylvania but I'm out in the burbs (Lansdale) for many reasons but the mainly because the crime is low and the opportunity to make money is higher.
Landsdale! How in the hell do you meet anybody in Landsdale! What do you do, cruise TGI Friday's????
Dude, you can live in No Crime Cheltenham, Mt. Airy, or Chestnut Hill and be a hop skip and a jump to Landsdale in 15 minutes!
Frankly, I've been in the Philly area of almost 10 years and go into Center City on a regular basis, no crime no hassle. But if you mean urban lifestyle as in urban vs the sticks, what the hell do you expect? You want to meet rural sisters move to Mississippi.
"With all due respect, in regards to AA's in prison and low academic performance what does that haft to do with me finding a AA female?"
You started your post about sisters frowning on brothers who date white women, I was just laying out the reasoning, since you seemed not to understand.
"Shouldn't the fact (some say myth) that AA males have a higher incarceration rate make a higher AA female to male ratio thereby allowing AA men like me to have more AA females to chose from?"
Not if you insist on living where they aren't.
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. As you expand your horizons it gets harder to date. That's just how it is.
