If your child told you they were gay.... (generation, Baby Boomers, parade)

[sous777]

What would you do? How would you react? It's bound to happen to atleast some of you, whether you become personally aware of it or not. I, like many of you didn't think it could happen to me either, but it did. First of all, I am a 47 year-old housewife with three beautiful children. I consider myself a Christian and I live a normal, typical suburban life. Everything was going great until my eldest daughter pulled me aside, sat me down, and said, "mom, we need to talk."

I thought to myself, what could this be about? She then told me that she's a lesbian and in a relationship with another girl her age. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes. I wasn't happy for her. In shock, I began to scream and cry; I cried and cried that whole day and the next day. I cried myself to sleep.

But I wasn't crying because my daughter is a lesbian. I was crying because after reading the many negative, hostile, and hateful posts about gays on this very forum, I know of the ignorance, bigotry, and hatred she will face at the hands of people like many of you. People who hate gays and lesbians for no reason other than the fact that they're different from you.

I cried because I know my daughter won't (atleast any time soon) have the God given right to marry (even though convicted murderers, child abusers, and drug lords in prison can. I cried because I know should my daughter or her partner become ill, neither will be able to visit the other in the hospital. I cried because my daughter will face bigotry in nearly every facet of life from people that use religion for hate.

Using Christianity as a tool, a weapon, to spread your hate, you try and spread as much misinformation about gays and lesbians as you can. This despite the SCIENTIFIC explanations which have been given.

It's ironic really; Christians are some of the most hypocritical people on this planet (this coming from a fellow Christian). Most of you who are most adament about continuing discrimination against gays aren't living very Christian lives yourself, yet you're so determined to undermine the love between two people.

What does is matter to YOU who someone else chooses to love? I get so tired of sitting in church and hearing my Pastor (someone who I looked up to at one time) talk about what abominations gays are. One, because it seems a good deal of these pastors (and priests) are dealing with their own issues of homosexuality, but also because it seems like the focus is all wrong.

Why don't you hear such passionate sermons about murderers? Or child molestors? Or infidelity? It is true that all sin is equal, right? Why are gays (two people who happen to be of the same sex in relationships) targeted?

Is is because the Bible says "Two men or two women should not lay together"? Because that same Bible also condones slavery, sacrifice, murder, incest, and theft. Things most of you consider, "sinful" but I don't seem to see the same passion for these subjects that I do for the rights of gays and lesbians.

I'm sorry but the Bible is a very contradictory book. Most adults (atleast rational ones) don't take every single verse of the Bible literally. But this concept is thrown out the window when it comes to homosexuality. Why? You can't pick and choose which verses you'll ignore (like ones condoning incest), and then say homosexuality is a sin. It's all in the same book right?

I see a very backwards society who has used a religion to spread ignorance, and it's not doing anything but keeping us behind. Most gays are law abiding, TAX paying citizens who have every right to marry as anyone else does. Why are they denied this? Because you've decided you want to discriminate against them because YOUR religion says it's a sin?

How would you feel if the government, run by tall and good looking people, made laws which said, "We're not going to give you the right to marry or adopt children, or have basic rights because you're short and unattractive?" Would you like that? SAME DIFFERENCE.

This is truly an issue of their not being enough of a line between church and state, and it's frightening. I do believe that within the next 15 to 20 years (when the baby boomers retire) and this generation takes over the government, gay marriage will finally become legal.

Young people understand (like so many my age are incapabale of) that homosexuality is GENETIC. Therefore, to discriminate against someone because of it is no different than discriminating against someone who's dark skinned, or someone who's not pretty, or someone who's short.

It's unfair, it's hypocritical, and it's sad. My only hope is that some of the most flagrant anti gays have first hand experience of what it's like to have a gay child. Maybe that's the only thing that can open up your minds.

So again, I ask, what would you do if your child told you they were gay?

[Lakewooder]

Originally Posted by Lindsay59

What would you do? How would you react? It's bound to happen to atleast some of you, whether you become personally aware of it or not. I, like many of you didn't think it could happen to me either, but it did. First of all, I am a 47 year-old housewife with three beautiful children. I consider myself a Christian and I live a normal, typical suburban life. Everything was going great until my eldest daughter pulled me aside, sat me down, and said, "mom, we need to talk."

I thought to myself, what could this be about? She then told me that she's a lesbian and in a relationship with another girl her age. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes. I wasn't happy for her. In shock, I began to scream and cry; I cried and cried that whole day and the next day. I cried myself to sleep.

But I wasn't crying because my daughter is a lesbian. I was crying because after reading the many negative, hostile, and hateful posts about gays on this very forum, I know of the ignorance, bigotry, and hatred she will face at the hands of people like many of you. People who hate gays and lesbians for no reason other than the fact that they're different from you.

I cried because I know my daughter won't (atleast any time soon) have the God given right to marry (even though convicted murderers, child abusers, and drug lords in prison can. I cried because I know should my daughter or her partner become ill, neither will be able to visit the other in the hospital. I cried because my daughter will face bigotry in nearly every facet of life from people that use religion for hate.

Using Christianity as a tool, a weapon, to spread your hate, you try and spread as much misinformation about gays and lesbians as you can. This despite the SCIENTIFIC explanations which have been given.

It's ironic really; Christians are some of the most hypocritical people on this planet (this coming from a fellow Christian). Most of you who are most adament about continuing discrimination against gays aren't living very Christian lives yourself, yet you're so determined to undermine the love between two people.

What does is matter to YOU who someone else chooses to love? I get so tired of sitting in church and hearing my Pastor (someone who I looked up to at one time) talk about what abominations gays are. One, because it seems a good deal of these pastors (and priests) are dealing with their own issues of homosexuality, but also because it seems like the focus is all wrong.

Why don't you hear such passionate sermons about murderers? Or child molestors? Or infidelity? It is true that all sin is equal, right? Why are gays (two people who happen to be of the same sex in relationships) targeted?

Is is because the Bible says "Two men or two women should not lay together"? Because that same Bible also condones slavery, sacrifice, murder, incest, and theft. Things most of you consider, "sinful" but I don't seem to see the same passion for these subjects that I do for the rights of gays and lesbians.

I'm sorry but the Bible is a very contradictory book. Most adults (atleast rational ones) don't take every single verse of the Bible literally. But this concept is thrown out the window when it comes to homosexuality. Why? You can't pick and choose which verses you'll ignore (like ones condoning incest), and then say homosexuality is a sin. It's all in the same book right?

I see a very backwards society who has used a religion to spread ignorance, and it's not doing anything but keeping us behind. Most gays are law abiding, TAX paying citizens who have every right to marry as anyone else does. Why are they denied this? Because you've decided you want to discriminate against them because YOUR religion says it's a sin?

How would you feel if the government, run by tall and good looking, made laws which said, "We're not going to give you the right to marry or adopt children, or have basic rights because you're short and unattractive?" Would you like that? SAME DIFFERENCE.

This is truly an issue of their not being enough of a line between church and state, and it's frightening. I do believe that within the next 15 to 20 years (when the baby boomers retire) and this generation takes over the government, gay marriage will finally become legal.

Young people understand (like so many my age are incapabale of) that homosexuality is GENETIC. Therefore, to discriminate against someone because of it is no different than discriminating against someone who's dark skinned, or someone who's not pretty, or someone who's short.

It's unfair, it's hypocritical, and it's sad. My only hope is that some of the most flagrant anti gays have first hand experience of what it's like to have a gay child. Maybe that's the only thing that can open up your minds.

So again, I ask, what would you do if your child told you they were gay?

What a post!

I can tell you whenever I have been to a parade, the parents who march to support their kids get the loudest and most heartfelt applause.

[ontheroad]

I can understand and empathize with your feelings. I hope some of the anti-gay folks here will read your post, and look inward and away from biblical scripture.

If my child, any one of them, came to me and told me they were either a lesbian or a homosexual, I would tell them "I love you, and wish them well in whatever partner they chose."

[sous777]

Thank you so much. I just had to come here and post this, because even I didn't know people still thought of homosexuality as a "mental illness". It hurts to see those things written when they are not true.

And there's actually been a number of studies which suggest people who are most homophobic are actually themselves many times dealing with their own issues of homosexuality. I have NEVER been homophobic...maybe that's because I am completely confident in my heterosexuality.

I have no need, no reason to hold anyone back or deny anyone rights.

[burdell]

Originally Posted by Lindsay59

So again, I ask, what would you do if your child told you they were gay?

I would show them your post and say I completely agree.

[sharon14]

I say love your child. and if she is happy,then be happy for her. If its a good relationship than I'm happy for her. God knows how many of us have been divorced due to circumstances. I have thought about the same thing you did.."what would i do,say?"..well I'd look him/her in the eye and say.."you are my child. i love you with unconditional love. If you are happy then so am I. just be safe about it"..now im not saying that i would get used to it overnight,but with love,it will work out. god bless you..and your daughter and her partner.

[PrettyHateMachine]

Hopefully, we would have done our best to where my son won't even think twice or think it's a big deal in letting us know that he is gay.

Homophobes, racists and xenophobes are persona non grata in our household.

Originally Posted by Lindsay59

Is is because the Bible says "Two men or two women should not lay together"? Because that same Bible also condones slavery, sacrifice, murder, incest, and theft. Things most of you consider, "sinful" but I don't seem to see the same passion for these subjects that I do for the rights of gays and lesbians.

I'm sorry but the Bible is a very contradictory book. Most adults (atleast rational ones) don't take every single verse of the Bible literally. But this concept is thrown out the window when it comes to homosexuality. Why? You can't pick and choose which verses you'll ignore (like ones condoning incest), and then say homosexuality is a sin. It's all in the same book right?

I see a very backwards society who has used a religion to spread ignorance, and it's not doing anything but keeping us behind. Most gays are law abiding, TAX paying citizens who have every right to marry as anyone else does. Why are they denied this? Because you've decided you want to discriminate against them because YOUR religion says it's a sin?

This is right on the money. You have basically summed up my rants againts religion in three paragrahs.

Great freakin' post, Lindsay!!

[gizmo980]

Beautiful post, Lindsay, and I hope some people will actually consider your words. Unfortunately the people who need to listen won't, since they are too stubborn and proud to admit they're wrong... often it takes a personal experience like yours to teach the meaning of tolerance.

And I think it goes without saying, but I'd love and support my child no matter what their orientation. My parents feel the same, which is mostly where my views come from... no matter what makes someone "different", I was taught to love & respect ALL decent humans. And yes, I know for a fact that my parents feel this way, since my adopted brother is gay - and my mother was the first person he came out to, since he knew she'd accept it. Not only was she fine with it, but she's been trying to find him a good man ever since! We're Jewish, which could have something to do with the difference in attitude... and not so ironically, his Baptist Aunt & Uncle still won't accept him as gay. I don't doubt that they still love him, but they're very disrespectful about the issue, "pray he'll see the light", and that sort of thing. Anyway, great post, and I'm glad there are still some good Christians out there!

[ElizaTeal]

Hi Lindsay and welcome to the forum. I am sorry you had to read the negative posts toward gay people. The anti-gay posts were quite an eye opener for me too. Rest assure there are some very supportive folks on this board. Great post from a mother's point of view. Happy Mother's Day, you should be proud.

[sonicido]

I told my kids that if they ever announce that they will become an attorney, I will ex-communicate them from the family. If they are gay, I will be disappointed-but gays don't hurt people like attorneys do. So, I'd accept it and leave it between them and God.
Soni