New Preamble To The Constitution (Congress, generation, legal, health care)

[Redrover]

The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...



"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."


ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work....don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

[Aqualung]

Good, until the last two, especially the last one, which was crap.

[Rhett_Butler]

'Congress Shall Make no Law........' and it hasn't. It hasn't restricted anyone's freedom to worship or freedom to not worship. Taking a statue of the ten commandments down from an Alabama courthouse wasn't the intent of this.....

[StillwaterTownie]

I agree with some of the articles, but others are the height of ridiculousness. For instance, on Article 1 could someone tell me who the hell is getting a new car or big screen TV for free unless they are stealing them, and we got laws against that.

ARTICLE III We certainly need the government to protect up from the harm of inferior Chinese products. How the hell are we to determine if made in China toothpaste is bad stuff or if Chinese pet food will kill our pets?

ARTICLE V: We had best damned be interested in better public health care to help protect us from the contagious diseases of the poor. And if a poor person arrives to a hospital emergency room about to bleed to death, is he supposed to be denied life saving treatment, if he has no insurance or no money to pay for it? In a civilized society is health care supposed to be based on if you can afford it? And when poor people die from not having money to pay for medical care, just who is supposed to pay for the cost of burying them? The ones who are bitterly opposed to free health care don't seem to have an answer for that on. Maybe some caring soul would prop up the dead poor person up on a busy street corner with a sign that says, "Please give money for my burial."

Overall, the author of those articles sure seems bent on getting it across that he sure doesn't like poor people. Maybe he doesn't even love Jesus for His voicing concern for the poor in the Bible.