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I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
************************************************** *******
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2008
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Now that they've managed to turn Christmas into a pagan solstice celebration, it will still be allowed. I've heard it referred to as the "winter holidays" lately. You can get naked and dance around a "holiday tree" and celebrate something the with the earth and sun and that's okay but don't mention Jesus.
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,671,579 times
Reputation: 3587
How about just this:
Dear Employees:
We will be hosting our annual holiday and end-of-year celebration on December 23rd in the grill room. Dinner will be served at 5PMK and we are happy to announce that a minute of silence will be observed at that time for those of you who wish to offer prayer to your God(s). We request that non believers please remain silent and respect the rights of other employees as we believe your rights should be respected in return.
Christmas carols will be sung along with music from the Jewish and Muslim faiths as well as secular holiday music. The company prides itself on being diverse and we actively encourage all employees to enjoy all faiths and cultures.
A cash bar will be provided for those who wish to drink. As usual we request that you not drink to excess and, should you feel the need for a ride home, please see Cheryl or Dan and it will be arranged for you at no expense.
Please have a wonderful time and enjoy it!
We will be hosting our annual holiday and end-of-year celebration on December 23rd in the grill room. Dinner will be served at 5PMK and we are happy to announce that a minute of silence will be observed at that time for those of you who wish to offer prayer to your God(s). We request that non believers please remain silent and respect the rights of other employees as we believe your rights should be respected in return.
Christmas carols will be sung along with music from the Jewish and Muslim faiths as well as secular holiday music. The company prides itself on being diverse and we actively encourage all employees to enjoy all faiths and cultures.
A cash bar will be provided for those who wish to drink. As usual we request that you not drink to excess and, should you feel the need for a ride home, please see Cheryl or Dan and it will be arranged for you at no expense.
Please have a wonderful time and enjoy it!
I would probably wonder why there needed to be a moment of silence or any music of faith in the first place. People can pray on their own or with other believers or with their family and churches and sing songs about their maker all they want. In a mixed group like work I'd keep things neutral. Not everything we do has to be an expression of faith.
I don't see what would be wrong with having a New Years party, with a buffet with a variety of food to make everyone happy. I am getting really sick and tired of all the whining about Christmas. Everywhere I go, I hear Christmas music, see Christmas cards, displays etc. - all that talk about "Christmas disappearing" is just total bunk. I guess some people can't stand it that Christmas isn't mandatory everywhere - hmmm... sounds about as intolerant as another religion.
I never used to mind "Christmas" - even though I am an atheist, but the more whining I hear, the more unappealing it becomes.
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