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I don't recall any issues my black adoptive parents faced when they adopted me (I'm white). People should be free to adopt as they please and the only qualifications should be whether they can provide a loving home for the adoptee. Race should NEVER be an issue.
Wow. That is truly beautiful and inspiring and I am in 100 percent agreement with you.
RACE should never be an issue. ANYONE who makes a big deal about a loving couple adopting a child and giving him/her a better life has some SERIOUS issues.
Wow. That is truly beautiful and inspiring and I am in 100 percent agreement with you.
RACE should never be an issue. ANYONE who makes a big deal about a loving couple adopting a child and giving him/her a better life has some SERIOUS issues.
It may be beautiful and inspiring, I only wish it was true.
There are huge social and self-esteem issues associated with adoption alone, let alone being adopted through cross-race. The kid could never feel comfortable because it is so obvious he isn't the son of the parents, not only to himself, but to everyone that meets them.
There are also huge cultural differences between ethnic groups. People tend to associate more with people that have physical similarities(but not always). So being raised across races could be detrimental to your self-image.
While there is a possibility that a child raised in multi-racial families can grow up perfectly adjusted and relatively normal. Statistically the chance of this is FAR lower than a child growing up in a same-race family.
Basically, adoption is always a gamble. But you are playing against much better odds with single-race families. Where would you put your money?
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,752,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by npumcrisz
A black family adopts a non-black kid and feels threaten at U.S.A
A white family adopts a non- white kid and doesn't feel threaten at U.S.A
An arab adopts a non-arabic kid and bam hell breaks loose!
An Oriental adopts a non-oreintal kid if
- black or arab problem!
- white no problem!
Why the social discrimination? Some parents aren't color blind but the manner in which these parents are treated raises a concern. Take for instance an Oriental young couple who adopted 2 kids. One white and the other black who happen to be step siblings from an inter-racial relationship (parents deceased). These Oriental couple get looks not only from strangers but can you believe it; also from their parents and in-laws!
I'm tired of people stating " l think we should adopt only from within our race" .. for whatever social/ cultural nonsense "they" claim. I strongly believe anyone who refutes to see the norms of adopting individuals across racial (or other sects not limited to nationality or religious believes) boundaries is prejudice.
I have mixed views on it. If a baby or a small child is to be adopted outside his family (immediate or extended) then it is my feeling that the first choice would be a good family of the child's own racial, ethnic and religious group. Only if that is not possible should anybody else be considered. As for older children- like 10 or above- it should not really be an issue.
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,752,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhawkins74
It isn't about raising them differently but knowing proper care of things like hair care. I can use a married couple that I am friends with. They are white and adopted two children that are black. They didn't know how to care for the children's hair properly. Because of this they kept the children's hair shaved at all times. They brought the kids over one day, and I showed them how to use hair lotion to moisturize the hair, and how to properly pick out the hair so the children's hair didn't get nappy and knotted up. This same couple also didn't know to constantly keep the kids skin moisturized to prevent it from becoming ashy.
These are just a couple examples.
Not just the hair but there are other issues. Sometimes black children are more hyper and they sometimes need corporal punishment when they misbehave- especially black male children. That "time out" stuff might work fine for white kids but it won't for black kids. And a white person would probably be hesitant to give a black kid a good well deserved whuppin because in their minds they are going to think of the history of whites whuppin blacks. I know I would because I have even thought about it when I had to whup my own kids who are white and West Indian. BTW you have to do the hair stuff with West Indian kids too. But I know how!
Look at the demograpics on the children in foster care. While blacks only make up 20% of the total population, they make up 41% of the children in foster care. Thats a huge number. So of course there are going to be more black children in foster care.
So that begs the question, why would a black couple adopt a white child, or an asian child, or any other race, when they have children of their own racial background to adopt? I'm not sure.
I don't blame anyone for adopting children only if they are of their own race. Lets be honest, you stand a much better chance of adopting a child of your own race, and making a connection with them, then a child of another race.
I do look down on anyone outside of the adopting couple who looks down on them for only picking a child on whatever they decide is important to them. The children weren't wanted, so obviously there was a need. If the adopting parent decides to stay in their race, thats fine. If they decide to go out of it, then thats fine to. Its not up to anyone else to look down on them for that. I am curious as to why a black couple would adopt an all white child, when they have a wide variety of black children to choose from though.
I don't know of a single case of a black family with a white kid- especially a young or infant. The white community would probably go insane even if were Oprah or Bill Cosby!
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,752,651 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thaskateguy
I think some people get into the whole Adopting thing, and go overboard. Like adopt 11 or 13 kids. ---Cool by me, if they can afford it. but seems like over kill, like a kennel of Kids or something.
The whole adoption thing is almost a scam. People always say they are adopting "unwanted black kids" but the fact is that many whites only want to adopt black infants- especially female infants- who would be easier to place with a suitable black family. But these agencies almost always go for the "high bidder" who will pay the most money for the baby instead of who might be best suited.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
39,031 posts, read 23,012,380 times
Reputation: 36027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redshadowz
It may be beautiful and inspiring, I only wish it was true.
There are huge social and self-esteem issues associated with adoption alone, let alone being adopted through cross-race. The kid could never feel comfortable because it is so obvious he isn't the son of the parents, not only to himself, but to everyone that meets them.
There are also huge cultural differences between ethnic groups. People tend to associate more with people that have physical similarities(but not always). So being raised across races could be detrimental to your self-image.
While there is a possibility that a child raised in multi-racial families can grow up perfectly adjusted and relatively normal. Statistically the chance of this is FAR lower than a child growing up in a same-race family.
Basically, adoption is always a gamble. But you are playing against much better odds with single-race families. Where would you put your money?
If I ever get in a position where I can adopt, I would prefer to adopt a child who is statistically less likely to be adopted. No matter how bad adjustment issues may be, they cannot compare to a life being shuffled from foster home to foster home.
In referenced to the bolded comment, what do you mean you wish it was true? Are you implying that I was not adopted by a black family because that is what LV was refering to in the post you quoted?
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
39,031 posts, read 23,012,380 times
Reputation: 36027
Quote:
Originally Posted by KevK
I don't know of a single case of a black family with a white kid- especially a young or infant. The white community would probably go insane even if were Oprah or Bill Cosby!
*raises her hand* I am white and my adoptive family is black.
You are the only one I have ever heard of. Care to tell us how this came about and why the white community did not throw a hissy fit- or did they?
Why would the white community throw a fit?
The white people I know would not throw a hissy fit over something so beautiful like this.
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