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Obviously sarcasm is lost on you. A child raising a child is, in almost all cases, a horrible idea. Especially since the mature one in the picture is the one who had unprotected sex a 14, in the example under discussion. I'm sure she's going to be willing and able to be a wonderful mother. (For those who have trouble with the concept, that too is sarcasm.) Better she abort the fetus rather than give birth and kill the baby as you point out could happen.
And, for the record, letting you help isn't "accepting the consequences", it's passing them off onto you.
Oh, I thought you were being serious...they say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so I figured you would refrain from it.. But as I said, its better to let her struggle and raise the child, than kill the child..
For the record, if she doesnt want me to help, she can more than certainly ask that I withdraw any help..at which point I will be even prouder that she is brave enough to accept the consequences by herself.
Oh, I thought you were being serious...they say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so I figured you would refrain from it.. But as I said, its better to let her struggle and raise the child, than kill the child..
And as I said, better to abort a fetus than kill a child.
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For the record, if she doesnt want me to help, she can more than certainly ask that I withdraw any help..at which point I will be even prouder that she is brave enough to accept the consequences by herself.
What a wonderful mother you sound like....it you were to raise a child who got pregnant at 14, you would withdraw help in raising any child she gave birth to simply because she asked you to. Seems to me, if you cared about your grandchild, you would first ascertain that your daughter was a capable mother (at 14 ) and that your grandchild wasn't endangered because it's parent was a child, too. "Brave" doesn't a good mother make.
And as I said, better to abort a fetus than kill a child.
better to kill a fetus than kill a child?..that makes no sense. I dont approve of killing children or fetuses..
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Originally Posted by Sagran
What a wonderful mother you sound like....it you were to raise a child who got pregnant at 14, you would withdraw help in raising any child she gave birth to simply because she asked you to. Seems to me, if you cared about your grandchild, you would first ascertain that your daughter was a capable mother (at 14 ) and that your grandchild wasn't endangered because it's parent was a child, too. "Brave" doesn't a good mother make.
Of course it is a good parental decision...heck it was your idea remember? I wasnt the one who said that accepting the consequences would entail me withdrawing support from a grandchild...that was you...I said that if she wanted me to withdraw support I would respect her wishes as a mother. Surely she wouldnt ask that I withdraw support if she thought my support would be in the best interest of the child. And bravery is a great quality for a parent to have.
Anyway...the 14 year old scenario has turned into a wild hypothetical of a girl refusing help raising a child, despite the fact that she may want or need help. As far as Im concerned..we should start another thread about man bites dog if we want to discuss that sort of thing.
Last edited by solytaire; 12-15-2009 at 07:22 PM..
better to kill a fetus than kill a child?..that makes no sense. I dont approve of killing children or fetuses..
Of course it is a good parental decision...heck it was your idea remember? I wasnt the one who said that accepting the consequences would entail me withdrawing support from a grandchild...that was you...I said that if she wanted me to withdraw support I would respect her wishes as a mother. Surely she wouldnt ask that I withdraw support if she thought it my support would be in the best interest of the child. And bravery is a great quality for a parent to have.
She's a child. That you would let a 14 year old child make that type of decision does not reflect well on you.
to be perfectly honest, I would like to see my daughter stand up and accept the consequences of her actions.
Ironic, you said your daughter should stand up and accept the consequences of her actions, but you also said you would provide child support if she had a child at 14. How is your daughter accepting the consequences of her action when you're there to cushion the fall? If she makes the same mistake again, are you still there to provide help?
Having an abortion is the consequences of her action, provided that she understood that the next time in intercourse, she should be prepared.
Under VERY little scenario today is a 14 year old ready to take on the responsibility of raising a child. Most 14 year old today are not cognitively or physiologically fully developed, along with learning the basics of personal life management. Your judgment is unsound and reflects very poorly on you, not to mention it is potentially damaging to the welfare of your daughter and the potential child should she get pregnant at such age.
Ironic, you said your daughter should stand up and accept the consequences of her actions, but you also said you would provide child support if she had a child at 14. How is your daughter accepting the consequences of her action when you're there to cushion the fall? If she makes the same mistake again, are you still there to provide help?
If she wants my help I will provide it, if she doesnt, I wont...I dont see whats so hard to understand about that?
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Originally Posted by clue
Having an abortion is the consequences of her action, provided that she understood that the next time in intercourse, she should be prepared.
Under VERY little scenario today is a 14 year old ready to take on the responsibility of raising a child. Most 14 year old today are not cognitively or physiologically fully developed, along with learning the basics of personal life management. Your judgment is unsound and reflects very poorly on you, not to mention it is potentially damaging to the welfare of your daughter and the potential child should she get pregnant at such age.
I disagree with this...pregnancy is the consequence of her action. Abortion is the consequence of her refusal to take accountability for that action.
But unfortunately, your very poor comprehension of how parenting influences the decisions that children make might lead you to support that lack of accountability.
If she wants my help I will provide it, if she doesnt, I wont...I dont see whats so hard to understand about that?
What you do not understand is that you are being a hypocrite when you said your daughter should suffer the consequences of child bearing and you offer help.
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Originally Posted by solytaire
I disagree with this...pregnancy is the consequence of her action. Abortion is the consequence of her refusal to take accountability for that action.
But unfortunately, your very poor comprehension of how parenting influences the decisions that children make might lead you to support that lack of accountability.
Says the parent of who would accept a 14 year old raising a child, when she grows up, she'll say her mother allowed her to raise a child at 14 years old, so her daughter should be able to do the same.
Going through abortion and pregnancy are both consequences. The emotional agony of abortion is enough of a consequence.
Most 14 year old today don't look 14, they look younger. Have you ever thought of the stigma of a pregnant 14 year old walking through the school halls with a pregnant belly? The leering, the hooting, the reputation and the thoughts of teachers thinking how a mother could allow a 14 YEAR OLD to have a child. Ever think of the school time she has to miss out to attend to the newborn child? Remember, you are not the parent of a new baby, your 14 year old daughter is the mother of a new baby. What about when you take your pregnant daughter out shopping and people whisper "oh my, such a young child pregnant, what was her parent thinking?"?
Until a 14 year old is financially and emotional capable of having a child, the 14 year old should not be having a child. This is among reasons what's wrong with America today, parents thinking it's acceptable for a developing child to have a child of her own, teenager pregnancy is high enough as it is.
Abortions should only be carried out when the "baby" is not yet formed. Destroying unspecific cells is no more murder than having your appendix taken out.
Well, this is a nice idea and I wish it were true, but the embryonic cells begin to differentiate very early in the process of fetal development. By 4 weeks of age, the embryo has a rudimentary nervous system and a beating heart with four chambers. That sounds pretty specific to me! So you'll have to come up with some other parameter.
If abortion became illegal in every state, which is unlikely, it would result in some women (and men) becoming much more careful with their contraception. The hopelessly irresponsible among us would either attempt illegal abortions, or have a baby they don't want and aren't equipped to care for. There may be more babies relinquished for adoption.
Crime would definitely increase within 14 years or so -- I'm convinced that unwanted babies often grow up to become criminals, especially among certain segments of the population.
In this recession, it would be disastrous for there to be an influx of unwanted children.
Since contraception and abortion became accessible, people have been able to divorce sexual pleasure from consequences. As a result, there has been a lot of "wantoness" for lack of a better word. Maybe society would adjust and become less promiscuous.
At any rate, I'm pro-choice even though I respect some of the arguments of the pro-life side. As I see it, abortion is the wrong battlefield. Once a woman is pregnant and doesn't want to be, the situation is a catastrophe for her with the potential to cause a lot of pain and destruction in many lives (including the child's). Call me old-fashioned, but I truly believe the battlefield should be premarital sex. Until everyone accepts that sexuality is powerful and holy and has natural consequences, and behave accordingly, there will always be unwanted pregnancies and abortions.
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) and that your grandchild wasn't endangered because it's parent was a child, too. "Brave" doesn't a good mother make.
