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Old 04-09-2010, 01:10 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,853 posts, read 35,035,161 times
Reputation: 22693

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Quote:
Originally Posted by renault View Post
There's a reason why so many Russian children have such terrible behavioral problems that are difficult to overcome.
I read online about a THREE YEAR OLD who killed himself. Apparently, he was adopted at about 18 months of age and had been CONSTANTLY, SEVERELY hurting himself ever since. I believe he ran full speed into a brick fireplace head first which resulted in a skull fracture when he was two. The article did not describe how he finally accomplished his goal, but you have to wonder why a toddler would be so bent on self-destruction. The general consensus was due to abuse as a baby in a Russian orphanage.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 04-09-2010, 01:17 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,562 posts, read 21,328,594 times
Reputation: 10052
Quote:
Originally Posted by renault View Post
LOL, as if the boy's life in a Russian orphanage (aka, children's torture chamber) would be better than the one he had in the US. The grandma who paid his ticket back to Russia didn't abuse him, he was just too much for the family to handle. I wouldn't be surprised if the Russian adoption agency (baby brokers) had misled the family about him in the first place and never mentioned that he had severe emotional problems.

There's a reason why so many Russian children have such terrible behavioral problems that are difficult to overcome.

Instead of vilifying this family (no doubt anti-US nationalism played a part in their media hype of this story) perhaps the Russian government should do more to make their orphanages less vile and dangerous for their unwanted babies. These poor children are abused, neglected, ignored, and forgotten by their home country. That is Russia's great shame, not the US's.

Russian Life: Plight of Russia's Orphans

Thanks renault. Russia may not be so capable afterall. I was adopted, and I am blessed to have been, sad that for others being adopted doesn't translate to being saved.
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Old 04-09-2010, 01:25 PM
 
14,249 posts, read 17,865,036 times
Reputation: 13807
I know of three families who have adopted Russian babies and, in all cases, it has gone very well. Adoptions gone wrong - for whatever reason - are the exception not the rule. But a happy, balanced 5 year old adoptee just isn't news.

What this woman did was wrong and she should be punished for it. But that does not mean that adoption is wrong and that it cannot be a success. For every problem adoption there are hundreds, if not thousands, which go well and bring joy to both the parents and the child.
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Old 04-09-2010, 01:37 PM
 
3,219 posts, read 6,564,740 times
Reputation: 1852
She "aborted" this child ALIVE!

Oh I forgot pro-choice. Yeah I know that pro-choice term is for other things, but it fits well IMO.

So she used her "grrrrl-power" pro-choice to BS her way out of being responsible for another human being.

Russia should send a secret agent over to get her and make her "pay" for this in Russia.

That poor boy must think "Nobody Loves Me".
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Old 04-09-2010, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Redondo Beach, CA
7,835 posts, read 8,413,665 times
Reputation: 8564
My husband and I just completed 30 hours of training so that we could adopt a child through the foster system here. The agency we're working through provides a whole host of resources available to us, from medical care to mental health assistance and everything in between. We spent a significant portion of those 30 hours on understanding the emotional and behavioral difficulties a child who's been abandoned, neglected or abused will suffer, and methods to handle them effectively. This same agency also handles foreign adoptions, and all adoptive parents are required to attend their "intercountry adoption" training program.
Quote:
[Agency Name] emphasizes the importance of education as a part of your adoption experience. It is required that you complete a certain number of hours of class as part of your home study approval.

The Journey Abroad workshop is 10 hours in length and is in compliance with Hague regulations. It is held on a regular basis in Los Angeles County, Orange County and San Diego County.

The classes are held on the weekend over a two-week period. Course topics include childhood development; adjustment of a new child to your home; grief and loss, celebration of birth heritage and culture; bonding and attachment; issues of child adjustment from an institution to a family setting; transracial and transcultural issues and life-long adoption issues.

Once you have completed the Journey Abroad workshop, [our] Counselor’s will help you each step of the way in the process.
I have to wonder about the agency this woman worked with, and why they didn't step in, or why she didn't go to them when this child became uncontrollable.

Clearly she had no idea what to expect or how to deal with it. And Russian "orphans" are notorious for having severe emotional problems. It's sad for everyone involved.
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Old 04-09-2010, 03:29 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,881,667 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by njguy View Post
she "aborted" this child alive!

Oh i forgot pro-choice. Yeah i know that pro-choice term is for other things, but it fits well imo.

So she used her "grrrrl-power" pro-choice to bs her way out of being responsible for another human being.

Russia should send a secret agent over to get her and make her "pay" for this in russia.

That poor boy must think "nobody loves me".
wtf....???
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Old 04-09-2010, 03:31 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,881,667 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill61 View Post
I have to wonder about the agency this woman worked with, and why they didn't step in, or why she didn't go to them when this child became uncontrollable.
I was wondering that too.
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Old 04-09-2010, 04:03 PM
 
4,796 posts, read 22,854,652 times
Reputation: 5046
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I was wondering that too.
You must be joking. Right?

Because only hundreds of adoptive parents have tried this already. And failed. Its not like there isn't a plethora of media coverage about this problem either. Far, far, far too many adoptive parents of Russian children find themselves with abusive and violent children on their hands, with special needs far beyond their capabilities and with absolutely no support from anyone on either side of the ocean.

What possible motivation would the adoption agency have to resolve the problem? They got paid, didn't. They are little more than traffickers. There's no money in assisting the parents after the adoption is complete.

Unfortunately this mother was likely all too aware of the problems other adoptive parents have faced, and the stone wall they've faced in trying to get help. Other parents have tried endless doctors and specialists, appealing to consulates and embassies, even suing the orphanage for lying about the child's history. None of them have ever worked.

Perhaps finally a moratorium will force Russia to do some housecleaning and establish and enforce stricter policies on adoptions. And perhaps the US will finally implement some protections too, and maybe do something to offer better social service support for adoptive parents.
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Old 04-09-2010, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Home, Home on the Front Range
25,826 posts, read 20,618,092 times
Reputation: 14818
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
Russia: Sending adopted boy back is 'last straw' - Yahoo! News (http://www.yahoo.com/_ylt=An7Kvg10fL3BhJTGDszf3NSbvZx4/SIG=13ri3181r/**http%3A//us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/ap_world/*http%3A//news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100409/ap_on_re_eu/eu_russia_adopted_boy - broken link)
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Old 04-09-2010, 04:25 PM
 
1,175 posts, read 1,780,967 times
Reputation: 1182
Heads up people!

I lived in Russia for many years and have seen all sorts of horrid stories involving children and how the RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT has ALREADY ABANDONED THEM!
Now, what this American woman did is not right, and probably not legal either but don't forget to consider the situation in Russia. Many MANY of the kids who are "lost" or orphaned over there are the WORST behaved kids around. They've been dumped by prostitutes, single moms with drug or alcohol problems and MANY of these kids suffer from dire physical or mental issues and extreme emotional problems. These children have become "property" for TOTALLY CORRUPT and unscrupulous Russian adoption "agencies" who prey on hapless Americans and others, desperate for a child.....These agencies coach the kids medicate the kids so that they seem "normal" and more or less "sell them off" to whatever foreign family with enough money to afford the "paperwork" "documents" and "stamps" that permeate every single "transaction" in Russia....I would NOT be at all surprised to find out that many of these "agencies" also work in human trafficking white slavery etc etc. Young Russian girls bring quite the high price in the Middle East...Asia....quite common actually.
The vast majority of Russians desperately love their children, dote on them and spoil them....for these Russians putting one of their children up for adoption is literally unthinkable....The kid would go to Auntie or Grandma (very common actually) LONG before any adoption agency would even be considered..
Few of the Russian kids in orphanages are there because of some tragic accident where all their known relations have died...Most if not ALL Russian kids in orphanages are there because they were unwanted, unmanageable, sick and so consequently dumped on the system to care for them.
Now with the fortunate end of soviet communism many of the Russian people are bitter at the inevitable collapse of their house-of-cards "system" and grasp for any convenient scape-goat on which to focus their anger, anger at the failure of their own "world" that THEY made...
Russia is finally being forced to address all the TOTALLY DISASTROUS negative consequences of their utterly self-destructive system that was only destined to implode....but they have yet to start blaming the people who REALLY caused the disaster that they now face....namely themselves....
Children...as always are caught in the middle....The more unseemly aspects of Russian life have changed little from the time of Dostoevsky....I've seen it with my own eyes...young girls in their teens.... (virgins I'm guessing) LITERALLY FOR SALE on the streets...in the Metro...sometimes by their OWN MOTHERS! (who are high or drunk...what ever...)
Foreign businessmen taking these young girls off to the hotel.....seen it many times....

So, be very careful how you deal with Russian adoption agencies. Don't be naive and think that the plump and made-up lady "boss" of the orphanage driving around in her Range-Rover "jeep" is some sort of saint trying to help the waifs of Russia...she isn't.....
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