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I have no hang up about breastfeeding. It's good for the baby, I get it. I was breast fed, my nieces and nephews were breastfed...but never on open display in public. Sisters/SIL would excuse herself to some place private, or if no place existed she would cover up. The casual passerby would have no idea what was going on.
What everyone so far has had a problem with is not that breastfeeding exists, it's that people feel it's their right to be as openly blatant about it as possible, simply because the law says they can.
The law says I can make out with my husband in public too, but I save that for the car
As far as I know, and I am a man over 50, I have never seen one single instance where a mother "blatantly" exposed herself to breastfeed her baby. And believe me...I have been around all over the US and several places overseas.
As with everything in life, most of us see problems with the actions of others, without realizing that one sees oneself in others. In other words, you are judging the actions of others in accordance to your own likes and dislikes. Have you heard the term, "if she says no, it means no" (associate with sexual consent)? Still, some men hear the word "no,"but in their minds it means "yes." Well, it really means "no" to the other person, not ifs and buts.
So if the woman lays the baby on the table, removes her top and dangles her breasts while feeding the baby, that would be ok in your eyes? She is only doing it for the purpose of feeding her baby ...
Come on now, that's silly. I don't know of, and have never heard of mother's who expose themselves to breastfeed. The choice for most is to do it as discreetly as possible.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick
Come on now, that's silly. I don't know of, and have never heard of mother's who expose themselves to breastfeed. The choice for most is to do it as discreetly as possible.
*claps* *applauds* so what's the big deal with others wishing that mothers be discreet about it???????????????????
*claps* *applauds* so what's the big deal with others wishing that mothers be discreet about it???????????????????
Because, as has been demonstrated on this very thread, discreet means different things to different people. To some it means no visible boob, for others it means breastfeeding in a bathroom, and for others it means never, ever breastfeeding in public, ever. As I said, all breastfeeding moms I know try to be discreet, but people need to cut them some slack. Your discreet may not be the same as theirs, or the next persons.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick
Because, as has been demonstrated on this very thread, discreet means different things to different people. To some it means no visible boob, for others it means breastfeeding in a bathroom, and for others it means never, ever breastfeeding in public, ever. As I said, all breastfeeding moms I know try to be discreet, but people need to cut them some slack. Your discreet may not be the same as theirs, or the next persons.
I understand what you are saying and maybe there should be some guidelines to prevent these types of misunderstandings. My definition is no visible boobs.
As far as I know, and I am a man over 50, I have never seen one single instance where a mother "blatantly" exposed herself to breastfeed her baby. And believe me...I have been around all over the US and several places overseas.
I've never seen this either. But the "be discreet" mantra is a smoke screen for "please don't do it in public at all," and this is made obvious by the facts that:
1. Such extreme scenarios are something not one of us in this thread so far have witnessed in person in our entire lives; hence, it's not an actual issue in day-to-day life, and
2. "Being discreet" is definied in many cases here as actually leaving the premeses entirely, or not going out in the first place, or pumping so that a bottle is being given. That's not being discreet, that's going away.
In other words, the whole "I don't mind...just be discreet" thing is a smokescreen for "I think I'll throw some extreme and very unlikely scenarios out there to convince other people this is a huge problem so they'll become overly sensitive to it...then maybe no mom will ever breastfeed in public again."
I started out in this thread describing how I was discreet while breastfeeding, how I attempted to time my untimable, colicky baby's hungry periods, and how I did in fact go out to the car. How ironic that a few posters here jumped on the "oh, listen to what the bare-it-all-in-public women say." I'm not a bare-it-all person, and not one poster on here who has responded is. The whole "be discreet" thing is an outright falsehood, because when we describe how we are or were discreet, we're still told over and over again, in a very middle school way, that we apparently want to "whip it out" in public, and are compared to cows being milked, etc.
Folks, the bell rang. Sixth grade is over. Build a bridge and get over it. If what you want is for women to be discreet, THEY ALREADY ARE and you well know it. If, OTOH, you're actually trying to steer things toward breastfeeding just never happening in public, discreetly or not, just come right out and admit that you're a prude and that you have issues or triggers.
And then turn away and mind your own business the next time a baby is hungry.
I understand what you are saying and maybe there should be some guidelines to prevent these types of misunderstandings. My definition is no visible boobs.
It is impossible to feed a baby this way. No matter how "discreet" one tries to be, even with a blanket, a little boob will show. Surely you don't ask the restaurant congiere to remove other women with some exposed breasts, eg cleaveage, a halter top, and the like?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I've never seen this either. But the "be discreet" mantra is a smoke screen for "please don't do it in public at all," and this is made obvious by the facts that:
"Being discreet" is definied in many cases here as actually leaving the premeses entirely, or not going out in the first place, or pumping so that a bottle is being given. That's not being discreet, that's going away.
In other words, the whole "I don't mind...just be discreet" thing is a smokescreen for "I think I'll throw some extreme and very unlikely scenarios out there to convince other people this is a huge problem so they'll become overly sensitive to it...then maybe no mom will ever breastfeed in public again."
Exactly! This is what I was arguing against. I never "whipped it out" in a restaurant (the locale of the OP that started all this), at the library story time, in church, in a park, or other places I breast fed in public, but I object to being told I should have stuck my kid totally under my shirt or a blanket, gone into my car whatever the weather, fed my kid a bottle (which she would not take), or "plan ahead", which with a newborn, is next to impossible.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana
It is impossible to feed a baby this way. No matter how "discreet" one tries to be, even with a blanket, a little boob will show. Surely you don't ask the restaurant congiere to remove other women with some exposed breasts, eg cleaveage, a halter top, and the like?
Exactly! This is what I was arguing against. I never "whipped it out" in a restaurant (the locale of the OP that started all this), at the library story time, in church, in a park, or other places I breast fed in public, but I object to being told I should have stuck my kid totally under my shirt or a blanket, gone into my car whatever the weather, fed my kid a bottle (which she would not take), or "plan ahead", which with a newborn, is next to impossible.
If you are being discreet, then there is no issue. All of you (with the exception of one poster) seem to be the type that don't believe in being obvious about what you are doing which equals being discreet. No need to get all hot under the collar if you are not among the women who "whip it out" in front of people as that lady did in the pool as reported by Malamute.
when I waited tables in college, I remember having a woman lay her baby on the table as they were leaving to change a diaper...
I think breast feeding is perfectly natural.. I get it.. we all were sucking on a boobie when we were newborns too.. great.. got it..
Problem I have is.. there's a time and place for everything.. and I don't think a restaurant is the place to be whipping your tit out to breast feed... Granted.. I've seen it discreetly done.. and have had no qualms and didn't even give a second look.. but I've also seen the weird kid grabbing for mommy's shirt and crawling up there.. and mom being totally cool with it..
again.. I realize it's totally natural.. but so is masturbation.. and you don't see guys whipping their schlongs out in public because they feel a natural urge... unfortunately we are a civilized society and just because you're a mother with a child doesn't mean you can throw it out there at a restaurant..because I HAVE seen it done.. and many other disgusting things that are not ok to do in an intimate public place.. I'm sorry.. I disagree with many of u
All of you (with the exception of one poster) seem to be the type that don't believe in being obvious about what you are doing which equals being discreet.
Which poster was that and what did she believe in that you classify as indiscreet?
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