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Once my son when he was about 12 years old came home mad because some bully who was an older kid pushed him down. I caught him leaving our yard going back with a baseball bat. I knew I had to do something so I stopped him and said : Son that bully may deserve a beating BUT IF YOU TAKE A BAT AND HE TAKES IT AWAY FROM YOU AND BEATS YOUR BRAINS OUT.... There would be nothing I could do to help you since you first had the bat... "Get the kid to come up here in your yard and then beat the hell out of him fair or just let it go and stay away from him". He took my advice and let it go.
Last edited by Nativechief; 04-19-2010 at 12:33 AM..
I agree with what so many of you are saying. But todays bully's are not like bully's of yesterday. They are out for blood. And if the victim being bullied, sticks up for himself or herself, sometimes, it is only worse for them, because now the bully has an army, and then it start's getting really really bad, i have seen this happen, not with my own kids now all adult, but with others, and it is a sad situation, they can really make a person go absoutely crazy, pity themselves, have lack of self esteem, lack of self worth, it is a terrible situation, i believe the teachers, should so something about the bully's while they are in school, out of school, there is nothing they can do. Do the parents come into play, whey they have a bully for a child!
My daughter wasn't physically bullied, but in 3rd grade she was subjected to some of the tackiest, crappiest little girl politics you've ever seen both in school and in her after school program. We pulled her out of the after-school program and she started attending martial arts classes. Don't know if it was the classes, or just getting her away from the kids, but her confidence soared and she's never had another problem. She just got her brown belt in Tae Kwon Do.
In the martial arts program they spend lots of time talking about bullies and stress that you try to get away from them but if you can't, they teach ways to break holds and fight back. We also told her at the time that if anyone ever laid a hand on her and she fought back that she would not get in trouble at home. I'll never forget the look on her face when I told her "If Suzie touches you, lay her out." She just beamed. I think it was the realization that we supported her 100% that was so encouraging to her.
I also wrote the principal a note the next school year and asked that she not be put in the same class as the other two girls. It was very diplomatic, but I said the three of them were a bad combination. She hasn't been in class with them since. One of them is still hateful to her but she says the other is nice now.
I love this! I tell my daughter the same thing. She's beginning to come home with stories about some (two girls) in her class who are starting these stupid girl politics now. It's just playground stuff right now but who knows what it could turn into in the next several years (they are all in 1st grade). This whole class has had the same teacher in both Kindergarten and 1st grade since the teacher was trying to keep the same group of kids with her throughout elementary school, for educational and social reasons. They won't let her move with them to 2nd grade. My daughter expressed an interest in some kind of Karate so I may enroll her in a class over the summer and see how she likes it. I'd love for her to take something that will improve her self esteem. What other activities are good esteem builders? She's played T-ball and is in dance right now. I've thought about trying a theatre class (she's a bit of a ham and likes acting and singing too).
Teach your kid S.C.A.R.S. There is absolutely no reason that someone should be taught to tolerate initiators of force. Self-defense is the ultimate right of any human being.
A system of self-defense originally commissioned by the military. But a simple google will give you all the info that you could want. As one who has studied a few different "martial arts" over the years, S.C.A.R.S. is an evolutionary leap in self-defense in comparison to "traditional" systems.
I personally studied it many years ago...no telling who is peddling it now. I would definitely stick with someone who has the backing of the developer of the system. I believe his name was Jerry Peterson.
edit: I would add that "advanced" techniques should not be taught to very young children because of their ability to kill. So it should be clear that the child should be mentally responsible enough to hold such knowledge before progressing too far in the system. We don't need 9 year olds snapping necks over a stolen toy in the playground
public school, its hard, we've all been there, either the bully or the bullied, we all have our chance to shine as the allstar or fail the test, get dumped by girl, and score a date to the prom.
so, if you child came home with a bloody nose from bullies at school, what would be your solution to this? teach him to fight?
I grew up in the 80's. I was never bullied. Why? Because bullies like easy targets. I proved that I wasn't an easy target by flattening some of the biggest a-hole bullies in the town. Kids need to be able to defend themselves. I was taught how to defend myself at an early age and it certainly paid off. Once the other kids know you're not an easy tagret the problem usually goes away. That was then anyway. I don't know what it's like these days but I have to assume that most kids that can defend themselves don't have issues.
i know i haven't commented much on this thread but i have been reading. thank you for helping me be prepared for this. i remember the old days, i was bullied once or twice, but it didn't last long, i got in one school fight and they threatened both of us with expulsion. we don't want to see children hurt, but i guess its part of growing up.
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