Great schools, not pretentious (Portland, Bangor: cul-de-sac, fit in, sales)

[firengineer]

From Irvine, CA (pretentious), live in Madison, CT (pretentious) and now have opportunity to work from home. Moved here for job in search of down to earth, New England atmosphere. Have not found said wishes in CT, so now looking at RI, NH, ME. Do not want a town where Dad drives 7 series, Mom 5 series and kid 3 series. We need a drastic change!

What are some nice suburbs with great schools in ME that can accommodate our needs? Can spend $650 on home, prefer much less!

Cara

[lrfox]

When I lived in Maine, I heard talk of "pretentious" communities but never felt it. Generally, the talk was mostly from those who hadn't spent much time outside of Maine in other (even small) metro areas where there are far wealthier (and more pretentious) 'burbs. Even the wealthiest suburbs in Maine (in terms of average household income) compare much more closely to more middle class/ blue collar suburbs in places like Metro Boston, Metro Providence, SW Connecticut, etc. I doubt you'd find any community, even the absolute wealthiest (which is Cape Elizabeth, btw... an average household income of around 90k. Not obscene at all by national standards) that's pretentious.

For the most part, there's not much "elitism" in Maine regarding wealthy vs. poor (or anything between). It's a fairly poor state and the "rich" pockets aren't all that rich by national standards (you'll be amazed at what 650k gets you in the wealthiest ME town vs. a town in central coastal CT). As a result, the money consciousness that does exist (let's be honest, money consciousness exists everywhere, no state is immune) was more along the lines of people criticizing those that DO have more disposable income than others. Not the other way around (which is the case with larger metros). It really felt that there was an air of discontent towards those with a little money. I'm not talking about the Donald Trumps of the world. But if you live in a house on a cul-de-sac that's less than 10 years old or bigger than 2,000 sq. feet, you'll be labeled as "rich." To date, Maine is the only place I've lived where I've hear the term "rich" used in a derogatory manner or a condescending tone.

I grew up in what was considered a very middle class community in Massachusetts. We weren't the poorest community, but we were far from the wealthiest. Our demographics and socioeconomics were similar to Cape Elizabeth, Falmouth or Scarborough, ME, but in MA we were considered "the hicks" by the wealthy towns. Most of the kids in our community went on to college, but we weren't all Harvard and Princeton trust fund kids (I went to state school in Maine, largely due to low costs and had very little help from mom and dad). When I went to college in Maine (A brief stint in Farmington, but mostly USM), it was like coming to a different planet. I dressed the same way I always did (fairly preppy with American Eagle and some A&F, but not outrageous by any stretch) and acted the same way, but I was labeled the "rich snob" immediately because of how I dressed and my car (a lower end, 3 year old- at the time- pre owned European sports sedan which I worked my butt off for, paid in full by myself and got at a steep discount from a neighbor who owns a dealership. The car is about 10 years old, but I still drive it now). This was a shocker. I've NEVER been the person to try to appear wealthy. I liked to dress nice, but wear what I can afford. I've never made car payments because I buy What I can afford (I've had the same car for 7 years now). If I went to college wearing the same stuff and driving the same car in Fairfield, CT, it would be fairly obvious that I wasn't nearly as "elite" as most of my classmates. While I ended up making plenty of friends (who all admitted they thought I was a "snob" before they met me) and my girlfriend of 6 years now (from Scarborough, ME... labeled as "rich" by many in Maine, but from a very hard working, middle class family), it was a tough couple of years dealing with some of the negative attitude towards anyone that they perceived had money (the whole time I was there I was wishing I could ever be as "rich" as these people thought I was).

In a nutshell, No. I doubt you'll come across very many people in ANY community in Maine that will be "snobby" because they have more than you. However, be prepared to be labeled a "snob" or "rich" if you drive a newer, mid-level American car, have a $650,000 house in a planned suburban neighborhood, and pull in around $80-100k (household) annually. While that may subject you to the scorn of some wealthier snobs back in CT, you'll be at the top of the food chain in Maine and there is some negative sentiment towards those who are perceived to have money there.

That said, towns like Scarborough, Cape Elizabeth, Falmouth, Cumberland, Yarmouth all have great schools. They are the "richest" in Maine, but you'll find them to be fairly middle class (with a few outliers) compared to Coastal Connecticut. For $650k, you can get a decent home near (but probably not on) the water with easy access to downtown Portland (10 minutes or less in many cases). Places like Gorham and Saco have good schools too. Up near Bangor, Hampden is a good bet.

[firengineer]

Wow, thank you! Great post.

To be honest with you, we left CA for CT with expectations of a lower cost of living and less materialism. We were unpleasantly surprised to find neither to be true. Taxes are HIGHER, homes are expensive and the people are just as pretentious. We did research on the cost of living differences but failed to dig more - groceries, haircuts, accessories, all higher in CT. Then we get smacked with a $1400 yearly tax bill for our two cars!

At the same time, we do not want to be shunned for being successful. If this is the case, we may look less at Maine and more at New Hampshire. We've heard Rye mentioned numerous times but feared materialism and too many tourists. Can you kindly advise?

[mainesnowflake]

Maines Wealthier towns are not as pretentious in comparison to other Well known Affluent communities. Here in Maine, what we Call Wealthy is classified most likely as Middle Class there. Our noted wealthy towns, running closely, are Falmouth and Cape Elizabeth, all depending on the most current statistics and data - Sometimes Falmouth is on Top and sometimes Cape Elizabeth. Very close runner ups are Kennebunkport, Yarmouth, and Cumberland. There are so many other towns that fit in but I'm just naming well known for their great schools and higher incomes. Yes, there will be those pretentious few but here in Maine it's a much more relaxed state with most people being warm and more approachable.

[lrfox]

I think you'd find that the overall COL in Maine (anywhere in Maine) will be much lower than Southern CT or CA. In fact, my girlfriend grew up in Scarborough, ME and now lives in the Bay Area. It's far more expensive over there in most aspects (groceries, surprisingly, are close... often times cheaper there). I know that New Hampshire has no income tax and no sales tax, but they do tax other areas more heavily. I've heard property taxes are higher than average in NH. As I've never lived in NH, I can't really get more specific than that. I still believe it's lower than most places and I'd bet my fist born that the cost of living in a place like Rye NH is much lower than Southern CT or California.

Rye is a great town. I have some family that lives there (not wealthy or pretentious by any means) and love it. They moved from a particularly "pretentious" suburb of Boston (Weston) as they were starting to get priced out and didn't like the snobby vibe of their town. They've never felt that anyone in Rye has looked down on them in the same way that folks in their previous town did. At the same time, Rye is closer to metro Boston where there are far wealthier communities so most folks there don't have the same bitterness toward anyone doing relatively well that I noticed while in Maine. It's a good mix.

Rye has a seasonal bump in population due to tourism. It's not different than any coastal town in New England in that regard. You'd find the same thing to be true in the Portland area, and the communities along Massachusetts' coastline. At the same time, it's not a tourist trap that's overrun with outsiders from Memorial Day- Labor Day like Hampton Beach NH, Old Orchard Beach ME, much of Cape Cod MA, etc. I doubt you'd find it to be in the least bit bothersome. If anything, Rye is off the beaten path... much quieter than Portsmouth or Hampton Beach which are nearby. It even gets less press than nearby "quiet" beach towns like York, or Ogunquit ME.