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Old 12-26-2012, 04:36 AM
19,209 posts, read 25,325,864 times
Reputation: 37011


I think the whole "acceptance" or "from away" thing is exagerated - follow the golden rule, people are people, a certain percentage will be pricks, but most are relatively decent, I find you get what you give- I've lived in maine all my life- but most of maine people do not know me so, im also "from away" , I guess look at this differently...

when reading this thread- I got to thinking about last week, the week before christmas, when stress levels are one of the highest of the years, I travel alot around the state and in n.h. and mass.
twice last week, while going thru the toll booths the toll person said the car in front of me paid my toll...twice, and one was a 3.00 toll...well, i thought that was nice, both cars had maine license plates heading north
and three times while in stores, did folks go out of their way to be nice.....because they had a cart full and I only had a couple items,,they let me "thru"- all woman
and I thought, that was nice of them.....and no good reason for it- I wasnt overly nice or making conversation,
I dont particularly like xmas shopping....so I keep to myself,,,wanting just to get out of the store....but in three different stores around maine, this happened..

only in other states, has someone looked in my carriage to what I bought and made comments about it- I responded in a wise ass quip,,,bit I thought how rude!!

Alo keep in mind this- most mainers, have a premise- to each his/her own.... whats your business, is your business, and I expect the same, whats my business, is my business.
we dont mind new neighbors at all....but respect bounderies,,,be nice and we will be too

if you are a busybody, or a know it all, or arrogant/condescending in the least we have an antennae for that

and dont mistake being nice , as a weakness,,,a fast talking know it all from out of state- immediately throws up a wall.
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Old 12-26-2012, 07:46 AM
Location: Maine
6,147 posts, read 11,849,997 times
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Well said, mainebrokerman, especially "I find you get what you give-"
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Old 12-26-2012, 11:21 AM
58 posts, read 83,468 times
Reputation: 51
Originally Posted by Maine Writer View Post
Well said, mainebrokerman, especially "I find you get what you give-"
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Old 12-27-2012, 04:10 PM
Location: Cape Elizabeth
425 posts, read 425,963 times
Reputation: 745
Hope it is not too late to respond. We moved here (the Portland area) a few years ago, not from a foreign country, but the NY/NJ area. I honestly think you will not find this area to be unfriendly or cold or anything really resembling those traits. But, you will find it to be quieter- probably a great deal quieter than what you are used to; especially if you have been living in larger cities. Portland, and the Maine towns are small- and it does take getting used to. But, there are so many upsides to living this type of life. We don't do that many cultural things- such as concerts, plays etc. But when you want to go to something, you can get tickets. The Merrill Auditorium is small, so really any seat is a great seat. The Portland Museum of Art- we became members upon moving here, and you can drive to Portland on a Sunday and get a parking spot 2 blocks from the museum. The artists they feature in their gift shop are folks you will meet in other settings (like craft shows), and they will remember you. It is so unusual and so refreshing. Most of the people you meet happen to be transplants, and because my daughter is a teacher in Portland in ELL (English Language Learning), I have met many from other cultures. One of the best events in Portland each year is called "Rock Around the World", sponsored by the ELL department of Portland Public Schools. It is a fancy affair where people come dressed up in their native attire. They then proceed to teach everyone the dances from their culture. It is so inspiring, and so much fun -you really wish the whole world could get on as the people here do. Take that fabulous job- I don't think you will be sorry. It is a friendly, welcoming area.
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Old 01-02-2013, 07:57 PM
414 posts, read 209,721 times
Reputation: 299
Originally Posted by KMR HVAC View Post

Secondly... You probably aren't acting like a member of the clan and that sticks out as snobbish.
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:15 PM
88 posts, read 187,749 times
Reputation: 110
Funny, I am visiting Portland for a weekend trip and am in awe of how FRIENDLY everyone is. I've had nothing but excellent service from the bakery to the pet shop. A taxi driver even stopped his cab, parked, just to pet my dog and talk about his own! I called a couple of hotels to find the best deal and felt guilty turning down one of the places - the people on the phone were just so darn nice. Very much like in New Brunswick, I find the locals eager and pleasant to talk with. It's in the summer (with the tourists) you might not know if they are as friendly, but in general it's one of the nicest populations of people!
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Old 01-13-2013, 02:27 AM
Location: Albany, NY
225 posts, read 294,412 times
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I live about 20 minutes from Portland. I have been in Maine for just over 2 years. I am not a fan of the area or the weather, and things do close very early. But, in Maine's defense, it has some of the nicest people I've ever met. I have found them to go out of their way to make others feel at home; in the Portland area, near the ocean, Old Orchard Beach is a very seasonal resort town that attracts people from all over the world during the summer months.

These visitors affect everything from keeping business open to later restaurant hours and increased traffic problems. This makes me feel very comfortable here.

It takes a while to get used to Maine, especially if you are from a larger area, but after 2 years, I don't hate it anymore (and I know my way around to a few places).
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Old 06-02-2019, 07:02 PM
1 posts, read 743 times
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I have traveled the world for work and pleasure, am friendly, and easy going. I have never encountered so many rude people as in the Maine “hospitality” business. The bottom of Maine license plates should read, “We don’t want your tourists dollars.” Whatever antidepressant medication these people are on they need to double the dose!
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Old 06-03-2019, 11:07 PM
Location: New Jersey
1,659 posts, read 642,167 times
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Here is an article I read describing the culture of Maine towards "People From Away". I think its pretty accurate to what I experienced living there.

Now they are in dire need of people because they chased everyone that spent decades there away that didn't have a birth right. I was told to tell people "Maine is too cold, don't come". It's the people in Maine that are the problem, you will never feel welcome.

Feelings of not belonging in Maine are real
By Sarah Smiley • September 27, 2016 1:12 pm
In 2008, when we first learned that the Navy was transferring us to Bangor, Maine, I went to various Maine message boards and asked people what I should know. At that point, I had never been north of Pennsylvania.

I asked people questions like, “Does it really snow a lot?” and people responded with variations of, “I can’t even see out my front window right now because of all the snow!”

“Helpful” commenters said my family would not make it through one winter before crawling back to Florida. They scared me with stories of snow banks that reached to the tops of street lights and wind chills that could freeze the tip of your nose clear off your face.

Mostly, however, some but definitely not all of the people warned me that I’d never belong: You’re not a Mainer. You will never be a Mainer.

I heard all the jokes about cats and ovens and biscuits, and I eagerly sat through long threads of answers to “What makes someone a Mainer?”

When we arrived in August that same year I was still afraid of the winters, but that was nothing compared to the sense of not belonging that seemed to hover over me as I ventured out into our new state. (Could I even call it “my state,” I wondered? Was that breaking a rule, too?) The worst was feeling like everyone’s circle of friends had long been established — like, since high school. Do they have room in their circle for me?

“From Away” was a term I learned quickly, and it was often used to introduce me to other people: “This is Sarah Smiley. She’s from away.”

It didn’t matter that the Smileys go back several generations in Maine and that Dustin’s grandfather, Henry, lived here from the time he was born until he left as a grown man in the 1960s. It didn’t matter that my father-in-law attended all the schools that my children eventually would if we were to make Bangor our home.

I was “from away,” and I felt a sense of “otherness” for a long time.

And then, as luck would have it, I fell in love with Maine. The state that I can never call “mine” became the only one that ever felt like “home” after 30-something years of living all over the country as a military dependent.

However, even as I told my husband “if you take me out of this state, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to get back here,” I knew I couldn’t really call Maine “mine” in public. If I loved New York City in the same way I love Maine, I could call myself a New Yorker after just one day and no one would turn a head. But not Maine.

We’ve been in Maine for eight years now, and I still feel shy about calling it “home,” even as I know of no other place for which I’d rather use the title. And despite our family being firmly embedded in the community — I’ve served on many boards, my husband has coached baseball, etc. — there are some people who would still like to remind us that we don’t really belong. Happily, there are many more people who have welcomed us and made us feel at home.

Still, just the other day, Instagram alerted me that my screen name had been tagged in someone else’s post. The text has since been removed, so I can’t copy it verbatim, but basically the poster was angry that I, a “Floridian,” have told the world about Maine and messed it all up for everyone who lives here. They used the hashtag #WhoDoYouThinkYouAre?

Putting aside the fact that the world has known about Maine for quite some time — since 1820, actually — I was surprised that this person still considers me an outsider. I’ve now spent more time in Maine than I ever did in Florida, and soon I will have spent more time here than I did in my own hometown.

So I read with interest a recent Bangor Daily News editorial about how our — I can call it “our,” no? — state needs people “from away” if it is to flourish. Citing a study from the National Academies of Science, Engineering and Medicine, the editorial included this quote: “The common Maine saying ‘from away’ speaks to a sense of pride in our state but also to an unnecessary and damaging division, implying that those from elsewhere can never truly be a part of our state’s social fabric and economy.”

Feelings of being “different” when you are new to Maine are not fiction. Neither is the immense sense of pride people have in this state — for good reason. But these divisions stymie growth and turn away people who will love Maine as much as we do.

Turns out, much of the warnings about snowbanks and wind chills were embellished. I’ve jokingly said Mainers say these things to keep the beautiful state to themselves.

But there is enough beauty to share.

And we should welcome people “from away” with open arms.

They could be tomorrow’s great Mainiacs.

Maine writer and columnist Sarah Smiley’s writing is syndicated weekly to publications across the country. She may be reached at facebook.com/Sarah.is.Smiley.
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Old 06-05-2019, 08:14 AM
Location: Maine
18,569 posts, read 22,362,702 times
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Maybe it's because I live in the southernmost area of the Midcoast in a town that has lots of transplants, but I have not seen a lot of the "from away" attitude. It's around, sure. The few times I have seen it turn vicious was from a lady in Lewiston. No idea why.

So yes, the attitude does still exist. But I wouldn't say it is indicative of most Mainers. Just an extreme minority.

And I wouldn't judge a majority of Mainers but one vocal idiot online. The Internet draws vicious idiots like a three-day weekend draws folks from Massachusetts.
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