Dating in Portland (insurance, college, to live) - Oregon (OR) - City-Data Forum

Atlguy39 · 04-21-2011, 08:55 PM

Its looking like I could be moving there from Atlanta, GA for a job. I know, culture shock. I'm 42, and basically starting over. I'm hoping to one day get re-married. As I look at the dating scene in Portland, it appears that there isn't much to choose from. What is it like there? Based on the various dating services (all of which get bad reviews) and Match.com, it doesn't look promising. Are there many single 30 something year old women?

philwithbeard · 04-21-2011, 10:05 PM

I am well beyond your age group, so my knowledge is limited, but I will add this...

It will help if you are very liberal in your politics in the city of Portland to find a woman in your age bracket. The city of Portland is a magnet for people who want to live as Left Coast liberals; just read many of the posts in this sub-forum from people from around the USA who are seeking a Liberal community to move to. Going out to the 'burbs, you will find more conservative politics, but finding single women will be less so.

Leisesturm · 04-22-2011, 12:06 PM

I could be WAY off the mark here Dr. Phil, but my inner... something, tells me the o.p. is center right. Even given that I don't predict his opportunities to be good, bad, or indifferent based on anything intrinsic to PDX. Everything depends on him and what he is bringing. I would be curious to know how it is the o.p. has determined what he will find in PDX re: dating material. What exactly is a 'bad review' of a dating site worth in the context of dating opportunities?

H

Minervah · 04-22-2011, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leisesturm

I could be WAY off the mark here Dr. Phil, but my inner... something, tells me the o.p. is center right. Even given that I don't predict his opportunities to be good, bad, or indifferent based on anything intrinsic to PDX. Everything depends on him and what he is bringing. I would be curious to know how it is the o.p. has determined what he will find in PDX re: dating material. What exactly is a 'bad review' of a dating site worth in the context of dating opportunities?

H

I thought about this too. I don't think too many women would like to be referred to as "dating material." It's a bit too clinical.

TygrrEyzz · 04-22-2011, 12:54 PM

Maybe for starters, you could look for a woman your age? I am not saying that age matters, but you might find it easier...? Just a thought.

Leisesturm · 04-22-2011, 01:25 PM

Again, I could be WAY off base but the o.p. may be looking for someone in her "child-bearing years" to use a quaint euphemism. I could write a book... but I won't. It's his life. But, no, Tyger, I disagree. It wouldn't be easier to find someone his own age. Personally, if my present sweetie ever kicked me to the curb I would be checking to see what the age of consent is in Oregon...

H (kidding)

Minervah · 04-22-2011, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leisesturm

Again, I could be WAY off base but the o.p. may be looking for someone in her "child-bearing years" to use a quaint euphemism. I could write a book... but I won't. It's his life. But, no, Tyger, I disagree. It wouldn't be easier to find someone his own age. Personally, if my present sweetie ever kicked me to the curb I would be checking to see what the age of consent is in Oregon...

H (kidding)

LOL! I see so many 20 something and younger looking women around town I think that may be all you would have to choose from.

Atlguy39 · 04-22-2011, 03:25 PM

Wow, just read these comments. I apologize for my statement about "dating material, Minervah. It wasn't meant to be derogatory, just based on my own preferences. And yes, I'm looking for someone to have kids with, thus early-mid 30's. I still look pretty young and stay in shape, so I don't think thats unreasonable. I'm not looking for a 20 year old to have a fling with. I'm a guy who doesn't fear commitment and just wants a life partner. I thought I had that, and ended up divorced. Its been a tough recovery from that for me. I still want to have that dream of a family. I know its hard to tell how people really are on a message board, but I'm one of the nice guys who treats women with respect and wants to settle down again with the right woman.

As for the reviews of dating services, that was mostly just from a search that reviewed services like "8 at 8" and "Its just lunch", etc. I didn't see many women I would be attracted to on Match.com based on my quick search. But hey, I'll be the first to admit when I'm wrong, and I really hope I am. Not every single woman is on a dating site, so I know there are other ways to meet them, I just tend to have trouble approaching women. Part of it is shyness and part of it is being burned from my divorce.

The other thing that concerns me about Portland is all the rain and the depression people experience along with that. I've read lots of research on this stuff. So that could be a factor in my decision to move there or not. But a change of scenery would do me a world of good. So I'm on the fence at the moment.

Minervah · 04-22-2011, 04:26 PM

Oh that's okay. No offense at all. I didn't take it as derogatory; just a little bit too clinical. But I see where you are coming from.

In the "olden" days, the late 70's, Portland women were not happy because the stats showed there were six eligible women for every eligible man. Hard to believe today.

Many years ago when I first moved here I joined some groups that reflected my interests at the time. I met some very nice guys in my two areas of interest: acting and Science Fiction. If you like some special sport or activity I think you may be able to meet women who are like minded. I am not an outdoorsy person but friends of mine especially had good luck meeting people in outdoors type groups that went on hikes and so forth.

Another avenue might be a church social group. People of all ages belong to those. And volunteer organizations have all kinds of people there.

For me, and maybe it's because I come from a dating era; BC (Before Computers) and the Internet, the idea of meeting someone online is pretty foreign. But I guess it's the way to go today. But it's not the only way. I wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

Oh and one more thing, I don't know where you would be working but I recently retired from a large insurance company. There were so many young men and women who got together while working together I think they held some sort of record for workers getting married. I worked with some very nice single people in their 30's both men and women.

I think you will do just fine.

hamellr · 04-26-2011, 10:38 AM

One in eight married couples in the United States met online.

I had a long, long rant here about the state of dating in Portland. Suffice to say that in my opinion, too many people in this city expect love to fall in to their laps. They don't go out and work to find that special someone. They do not make an effort to make themselves more attractive physically, mentally and emotionally to other people.

The search for love is like a job search here. Networking is key. Put yourself on all the websites, no matter the reputation of the site. Go to public events for people with your interests (via meetup.com for instance,) take Adult Education classes at the local College. Post in the Strictly Platonic section on Craigslist for activity partners. Ask your friends to hook you up.

Always put your best foot forward, but be honest, open and most importantly yourself.