Planning to Move to Portland- HELP! (houses, living in, gardens)

[Nell Plotts]

+2

[Isotope-C14]

Originally Posted by sayulita

Because I question the casual flinging about of psycho babble. "Passive aggressive" is a popular "diagnosis" these days. Most folks, including me, don't have a clear grasp on what it means. And to use it to describe an entire population is careless and lazy. The OP can gather what she may but Portland is a city full of many- liberal and conservative, straight and gay, young and old - what have you. Just like any other metropolis in the country. Come or don't come. Bloom where you're planted. But don't buy into any labels you come across. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you don't see the beauty - move on, by all means.

So in other words, because you don't understand what something means, you are going to call me careless and lazy? Yeah, passive aggressive *certainly* doesn't fit here.

To the OP: Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. I have plenty more stories, but I'm going to stop responding to the trollers. Keep in mind that these old folks stay home all the time and they don't interact with 20-30 somethings on the same level as you will.

[_TwentyTwenty_]

I think it's more of generation gap. The younger generation, growing up, are more wired in (online, cell phone - including text, etc) and more socially active online than the older generation. Being online, anonymity allows them to be more of themselves, for better or worse, and not worry about the consequences as much. This is even more so for those who are less socially active in real life. Even in the case of social networks, they may portrait a very different persona knowing that they may never meet that person face to face. From that, I think that they perceive how people usually are and carry that perception in real life also. Where as in real life, that's not the case.

Growing up, I've hanged with all kinds of crowds in high school and college: nerds/geeks, jocks, party animals, even gangsters (not those 'wanna be' whom always want to fight for the stupidest reasons) ... I can tell you that within each social circle they have their own ideology, attitude and perception. To be accepted as 'one of us', you pretty much have to be like them in just about every way. But that was a very long time ago and I think some kind of stereotyping and prejudice still exists. After traveling to a few cities, states, and countries, I find that we, human beings, are a very fascinating specie. I've never consider myself normal nor will I try to pretend to be and understand what normal is, even if it's specifically to a city/region. I just learn about others and see whether I can accept him/her as a friend and whether that person will accept me as a friend also.

To the OP, I think the best way to see if Portland is a fit for you is take at least 2 - 3 weeks of vacation, if you're working. When you're here, don't do what would be the 'norm' for vacationers, ie. sightseeing, etc... Instead, do what you usually do as if you live here and see whether the social atmosphere here fits you, ie. night club, bars, shopping, attend performing arts events, volunteer community service, participate in nonprofit organization, etc. Then you'd know how the locals would treat newcomers. One other thing that you should also seriously consider is if the weather and environment would affect you, as mentioned in several threads. For me, it's the smog and unpredictable earth quakes in California, the possible hurricane(s) and overpopulated mosquitoes in Florida. Portland metro doesn't have any of the aforementioned weather/environment. From my experiences here so far, I find mixed reactions from various age groups: 20s, 30s, 40s. I wonder if it's partly because I appear very young despite my age. When I was 38, I stilled got IDed for buying alcohol and cigarettes.

[sayulita]

Originally Posted by Isotope-C14

So in other words, because you don't understand what something means, you are going to call me careless and lazy? Yeah, passive aggressive *certainly* doesn't fit here.

To the OP: Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. I have plenty more stories, but I'm going to stop responding to the trollers. Keep in mind that these old folks stay home all the time and they don't interact with 20-30 somethings on the same level as you will.

How is calling me a troller and an old stay-at-home any different than me calling your stereotyping careless and lazy? This tells me that you are just as "passive-aggressive" as you accuse us of being.
To the OP, I think you sound like a good fit for Portland. Find some like minded people to hang out with and you'll do just fine.

[Minervah]

To the OP, you have given us a definite description of who you are and what you like. I think you will find many people with whom you will be able to make friends.

The only word of caution I would give you is to remember to be tolerant. Portland is made up of many different types of people. As long as you respect other's lifestyles and beliefs, you shouldn't have any trouble being accepted by anyone.

Regarding Portland neighborhoods, there are some great close in ones that have most of what you are looking for. But they will be expensive.

I suggest you google "Portland Neighborhoods." There are websites there that will describe city neighborhoods and will give you an idea as to what they are like.

[Becca9]

All of you information is really helpful! Keep it coming!
It is hard to know what people mean when they talk about Porlanders' attitudes. For instance, here in East TN, people are genuinely nice to you if you are nice to them, which I hope is true anywhere. I smile to everyone that I see and find that a small portion of the general population returns my smiles and warmness. I'm no sure how much of the "southern hopsitality" I've just gotten used to.
I am very tolerant of other people, and am looking for that for myself. For example, if I was to openly tell people I am not a Christian, voted for Obama, don't want to wear make up, and how I eat (organically, no carbs) I would be considered a FREAK here! I have clients that actually ASK me if I am Christian and if I voted for Obama. I feel like I have to hide who I really am here to fit in and that is what I want to get away from.
We are planning a trip in Dec/Jan and staying with locals that we met on a trip to the Gorge earlier this year to see Dave Matthews. I figure that should give us a good taste for the weather and people.
And it is hard to understand "passive aggressive." For example, I think a lot of people around here are passive aggressive b/c they pretend to be so nice and Christian but then do a lot of gossiping and are so focused on fear and not living each day to its fullest. And, they probably think that I am the passive aggressive b/c of my true feelings for their type.
Also, I am 28 so that you know my age for opinion. We also plan on having kids in the next few years and hope that Portland is a good place to raise them!

[Nell Plotts]

Portland is a great place to raise a family!!

I can't give you any advice about how to respond to questions about religion and politics in your current environment except to redirect them to the business at hand with a comment to the effect of, "We need to keep on task else this project won't be completed on time." If pushed I would respond with "My mother/employer told me never to discuss religion or politics in a business setting and I honor my Mother's/employers guidance/policy." In Portland and Oregon in general such inquiries would be bad manners and way out of the norm. In the case of religion would expose the employer or client to charges of discrimination.

Oh, if you will be working downtown after children get on the Fruit & Flower daycare wait list.

[carpenterant]

I agree, Portland is very family oriented. It sounds like you'll do great here, really. I also think clients asking about religion or your voting habits would be really rare here. I've never been subjected to talking to my co-workers about those things other than in really long-term working relationships where we know each other pretty well already.

What you've heard about Portlanders not being friendly might be in reference to the phenomenon known as "the Portland Freeze" (or the North West Freeze, what-have-you). Oregonians, native and adopted, tend to be friendly and polite, but also very reserved. It can be difficult to transition from friendly acquaintance to deeper friendship here for some reason. I'm an Oregonian and I've experienced it myself. It took my partner and I at least seven years after moving to Portland to feel like we had a good group of people to call real friends.

It's also pretty reserved socially. Strangers won't go out of their way to chat with you or to invite you into their lives, which I believe comes more from a live and let live, more reserved and held-back attitude that prevails here rather than passive-aggression or distrust. I've lived in and visited other cities where you can sit at the bar in a pub and be chatting with strangers before finishing your first round. That's kind of rare in Portland. So, you might find you'll need to make the first moves when it comes to inviting people into your life and finding friendships, but otherwise, I think you'll find people to be perfectly friendly here.

[Minervah]

I think you will have no trouble fitting in. My comment about tolerance was due to the fact that sometimes people do come here with a rather overbearing attitude taken from what they have seen in the Media about Portland that leads them to believe everyone here is a certain type of person with certain type of beliefs.

I am 65 and have lived here for 33 years. I have friends, acquaintances and former co-workers of all ages. I have never found that opinion is specifically age oriented. I've known some 20 year olds to be way more conservative. Also some of the older folks I know are the most liberal.

The live and let live attitude usually prevails. You will find pretty quickly what people are and are not willing to talk about.

Yes people are reserved here but less so now than when I first moved here.

If you are able, and haven't done so, by all means come out for a visit. Explore neighborhoods and activies. I think that is the best way to get a feel for any new place. It will also help you to be able to ask more specific questions about the various areas in which you may find you want to live.

[Oh-Happy-Day]

I for one don't understand why people have to generalize behaviors and attitudes as if that is the only type of people who live there. I have found all type of people live here and I have made a lot of friends. I consider myself very friendly and people don't look at me weird. From your profile, I believe you will enjoy it here...especially the outdoorsy things to do.

As far as neighborhoods, I would look at Beaverton. They have an AWESOME farmers market... nice library... parks and the max is close that will take you right to down town about 20 minutes. Also buses go right to down town too. I used to live in Beaverton and it is a nice town.

And the weather... I too found a lot of people complaining about the weather. But there are a lot of us too, like myself, who love the weather here in Portland. The question is... can you deal with overcast conditions half of the year? I for one love to get out in even in the overcast conditions. It is very nice and refreshing. I find it does not rain as much as people make it out to be. A bit of outdoor exercise can do you a world of good regarding SAD and depression if it does hit you. I have suffered from Post Partum dpression and the two things that made me feel better were suppliments with fish oil and vitamin D and good ol exercise... and prayer... but I guess I better not get on a religious topic here... keep it safe I guess.