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Old 05-26-2013, 09:13 AM
 
846 posts, read 609,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by urbanlife78 View Post
Yes, the people of Portland are typically very friendly and polite.
"Typically" is used in this sentence as almost in "tongue in cheek" style. There are many nice people here in the NW. However, prepare yourself for a few exceptions. I have and and worked with some of the nastiest people you can imagined. Apparently, their lives suck and they are going to make sure everyone else's does too.

BTW, I have lived in a dozen states and dozens of cities so that is my frame of reference.
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Old 05-27-2013, 07:13 AM
 
2,919 posts, read 5,803,781 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyAMG View Post
I find a good mix of those who are friendly and those who are not necessarily unfriendly but just want to avoid lengthy conversation. I personally fall into the second category. I am quite fond of returning a "how do you do" and some small talk. Nothing beyond that.

I find the friendliest people are found doing outdoor activities. I must of had 50 or 60 friendly exchanges during my hike up eagle creek last weekend. The weekend before that we had several pleasant exchanges with similar couples at cape lookout on the coast.

Generally, I find people to be nicer during good weather. But the day we were at Eagle Creek wasn't great so ....I think it's more where you hang out and the activities you do on daily basis.

Some of the rudest, crappiest people I encounter in Portland are Downtown and the "trendy spots" in the city.

Singles scene is too subjective. To me if you think Phoenix's "single scene" is bad the Portland's will be abysmal. Phoenix in my opinion has the best hookup rate for singles in the country. Especially, if you go to the Salt River or Lake boat parties or a concert and Arizona tends to attract the best looking women from all over the nation. My wife said I could never go to the Salt River or Lake Havasu ever again....

One thing I will say good about AZ is the women were gorgeous, plentiful and down to party, but...generally not very intelligent or responsible. Portland..... your going to have to have a special interest to meet someone unless your super good looking and have no problem connecting. Most of Oregon's gorgeous or really desirable women seem to marry early or stay in small familiar social circles.

but what I consider a good woman or a good singles scene is probably not what you like. It's too subjective.

If a good singles scene is a must then try a city in the Southeast. Like Nashville or Charlotte.

You may find the women of your dreams here or never meet anything more than a one-night stand. Again, that's too subjective. I beat the odds of a mostly male city, but my wife and I are both born and raised Portlanders and 9/10ths of my friends circle is from the northwest originally. We have friends from Penn. who say they can't break into a native PNWers friends circle no matter how hard they try. I thought it was hog wash, but introducing them to my native circle made me think there might be something to it. My friends from here didn't like or trust my friends from PA, don't know why.
Bite your tongue on Charlotte. Currently there trying to get out with the quickness. Definitely a married town that doesn't cater very well to singles. Believe that.
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Old 06-04-2013, 12:43 AM
 
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Post Pseudo-friendly is my impression so far

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robby111 View Post
Ok so I'm a single guy living in god awful Phoenix , AZ and Portland is on my list of cities to move to .

I wonder if it is a friendly city ? Are the people friendly and how
Is the singles scene ?

Both are bad in Arizona so wondering what I will find in Portland .

Thanks for info .
This question gets asked a lot, often in comparison to the Seattle Freeze. As a Californian who finally moved here in late November last year, I may have some insight.

I find a notably higher level of politeness, manifested in driving courtesy and overall lack of thug-glares on the street, though bad folk clearly exist in some neighborhoods. I just see fewer openly trashy attitudes than in metro areas of CA. It might be because it's harder to act like a criminal when surrounded by so much lush, natural scenery, which may humble people into decency. But this isn't to say people are friendlier in a gregarious way. They just seem less likely to cop attitudes. I'm finding it to be a myth that Portlanders are friendlier on some intrinsic level. It seems more like a culture of superficial politeness to keep life easygoing, with perhaps a darker side behind it.

But I can't say that for sure, having met only a tiny fraction of the populace. Posts where people pigeonhole an entire region because they chance upon bad eggs are not realistic. I'm trying to be objective.

The most disappointing thing for me has been the women, meaning lack of ease in meeting appealing ones. Contrary to what some Portland-bashers have written, I find no shortage of attractive, very nicely shaped women (no shortage of yoga pants) with a much higher Caucasian ratio than CA. But getting to know them vs. what I experienced in CA seems difficult. There's an inexplicable built-in reserve. It could be the weather, but I don't think human nature is that taint-able. You'd think the cloudy season would make them more yearning for company, if anything. Women up here can't be nuns who only need books on rainy days.

At first I attributed it to unfamiliarity with a new area but came to believe it's endemic. I'm still not sure. It's a sort of politeness with moody distance that I can't put my finger on. Not just hotties playing hard to get; it goes beyond that. Another year or so might change my view but the women don't seem all that welcoming unless you've got some uber-cool personality, or dress funny. I've always been annoyed by average looking, even wimpy guys who magically have women flocking around them. Maybe the women feel un-threatened and it gives the guy an inroad? My impression of Portland is that it's good to be such a guy, which I'm not. I'm not homely by any stretch.

Another odd/annoying thing is the number of refined looking beauties I see with scraggly-bearded guys, mostly in the 20-30-something range. What are those guys doing to get such women? Did they scrag-out after getting in good with her? I still can't figure this place out but I'll keep trying, and YMMV.
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Old 06-04-2013, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Winter nightime low 60,summer daytime high 85, sunny 300 days/year, no hablamos ingles aquí
700 posts, read 1,499,201 times
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Quote:
...average looking, even wimpy guys who magically have women flocking around them.... My impression of Portland is that it's good to be such a guy, which I'm not. I'm not homely by any stretch.
Are you implying that you can't get a date because you are too good looking?
It is the equivalent to saying "I can't buy a house because I have too much money"

Quote:
I've always been annoyed by average looking, even wimpy guys who magically have women flocking around them. ...Another odd/annoying thing is the number of refined looking beauties I see with scraggly-bearded guys, mostly in the 20-30-something range. What are those guys doing to get such women? Did they scrag-out after getting in good with her?
This is called the "Yellow Volkswagen Syndrome". Yellow Volkswagens are quite rare, but once you get the opposite idea, you start noticing them all over the place, thinking that they are in abundance, and blocking any evidence to the contrary.

As far as Portland: the single women here are like anywhere else:discriminating and demanding. While there may be some who are attracted to "scraggly-bearded guys" of the artsy/alternative type, most are attracted to the same things as women elsewhere: money, status, good looks and attractive personality. The only open hypothesis is: are they more discriminating and demanding here than elsewhere? The answer may be a cautious "yes", but as we say in science: "more research is needed".
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Old 06-04-2013, 11:29 AM
 
4,380 posts, read 4,448,612 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skiffrace View Post
Very true. If improving your romantic life is one of your objectives, Portland is not the place.
It is overflowing with single men, many of them the "outdoorsy" type, desperately looking for love.
As a single woman, I have to respectfully disagree with this-at least for my age range. I'm finding there seems to be an abundance of single men who are in their mid-20's and over 50, but hardly any in their 30's and 40's. I think I'm friends with all 12 of them. There are a lot of single women in this age range, however. Also, as an active Meetup member and organizer (for the last 5 years), I highly recommend that as a source to find friends and learn the city but caution I have found that not a lot of long term relationships form that way. As you tend to see the same people over and over at events, it becomes a circle and dating in the group can feel like dating the group and not just the person. Quite frankly, the singles scene around here feels an awful lot like being back in high school and is incredibly fickle.
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Old 06-04-2013, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
10,988 posts, read 20,558,027 times
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Speaking as an older, married, woman single women are smart to be discriminating. Heck, I actually checked references once my (now) husband started showing up at my door frequently. After we married I shared that with him, he still laughs about it.
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Old 06-04-2013, 01:03 PM
 
Location: SE Portland
254 posts, read 442,481 times
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I find this thread fascinating. I'd rep you all if CD didn't always yell at me to spread the points around. :P

We already have several friends up in the PDX area who we are looking forward to reconnecting with and have been helpful with our move, but I worry so much about finding other parents to be friends with. As a liberal in Orange County, CA, it was extremely difficult to find parent buddies, and we now have a lovely group of friends, but starting all over is bumming me out big time. It's like dating, except worse because everyone has to like everyone else (kids/parents).

*Also, on a side note, we have a lot of pretty attractive, young, fit 20s/30s friends and some of the men (my husband included) have gone totally scraggly/grungy/artsy in recent years. We all tend to be creative/artsy types, so I think it's seen as more of a fun "let's try something different" phase. My husband just switched to a super dapper look (mainly because of his job transfer to Portland, haha) and I am certainly not sad about it, even though the grungy look was fun for a bit.
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Old 06-04-2013, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,695 posts, read 28,435,785 times
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This question is asked so often, the answers should be compiled and made into a sticky.

So here's a kind of a reverse question. Define friendly.

Are you expecting a welcome wagon?

The answer is no.

Are you expecting people to welcome you with open arms?

The answer is no.

Are you expecting people will treat you differently because you are from somewhere else?

The answer is still no.

What you can expect is this. People, if you ask them politely, will be nice and helpful if you ask them for help regarding their city. They will tell you about neighborhoods, shopping, good restaurants etc. anything you would like to know. They many even suggest where to look to get work or go to worship if you are so inclined. They will definitely tell you were the best places to go for outdoor activities and night life.

What they won't do is invite you into their homes or make you their BFFs at least not for awhile. It's all going to be casual and you will have to make the effort to create lasting friendships probably through meet-up organizations and the like with others looking for similar social hookups.

The thing is, there are many transplants coming to Portland all the time. So people already here have pretty much established themselves. You may find that people who have been here the longest or who have been born here often are the most elusive. Not always of course. But from personal experience, I found that the longer I have lived in Portland, the more I have become accepted by the people who have lived here all their lives.

As far as the singles and dating scene, I am waaaay past that so I can't comment so I won't. I'll leave that up to the young'uns.
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Old 06-04-2013, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
10,988 posts, read 20,558,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sondeera View Post

.... I worry so much about finding other parents to be friends with. As a liberal in Orange County, CA, it was extremely difficult to find parent buddies, and we now have a lovely group of friends, but starting all over is bumming me out big time. It's like dating, except worse because everyone has to like everyone else (kids/parents).

....
It is easier when you move during the school year but if you sign up for park bureau/district activities for your children before you know it you will have other parents wanting to make play dates. The kids have social lives that will drive you nuts. My advice is not to talk politics unless you are at a political meeting until you know someone moderately well. The community is generally liberal so the odds of meeting parents with similar attitudes is high but conservatives do exist.
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Old 06-04-2013, 09:56 PM
 
986 posts, read 2,507,390 times
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Default Yes, but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by skiffrace View Post
Are you implying that you can't get a date because you are too good looking?
It is the equivalent to saying "I can't buy a house because I have too much money"

This is called the "Yellow Volkswagen Syndrome". Yellow Volkswagens are quite rare, but once you get the opposite idea, you start noticing them all over the place, thinking that they are in abundance, and blocking any evidence to the contrary.

As far as Portland: the single women here are like anywhere else:discriminating and demanding. While there may be some who are attracted to "scraggly-bearded guys" of the artsy/alternative type, most are attracted to the same things as women elsewhere: money, status, good looks and attractive personality. The only open hypothesis is: are they more discriminating and demanding here than elsewhere? The answer may be a cautious "yes", but as we say in science: "more research is needed".
Your points are logical and I'm not crowing over my own looks, just marveling at some situations where odd looking guys find quite attractive women, plus the whole moody thing I've yet to figure out. Maybe these women I'm seeing are hipsters? They seem like an alien species to my conservative mentality, but I wouldn't turn some of them down! I think lack of money at the moment may be a partial impediment, but I also don't want women who obsess over that, so it's kind of a wash.
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