Portland vs Salt Lake - especially air quality and making friends (2015, buying a house)

[rass33]

In terms of making friends in Portland, you better come with a wife, a husband, a boyfriend a girlfriend or a bunch of kids that really love the hell outta you because making friends here for a transplant is almost nonexistent. The rain forces people to hide in there homes but also they really don't want anything to do with strangers. Some of my longest and most impactful conversations in Portland has been between me and the Pizza Hut delivery guys in SE. If you need to get your jollies off I hope you like strip clubs because most of the women on the East side are either single rough looking women with kids, already in relationships, filled with countless drama or basket cases. Some of the people here will say "hey" or "whats" up if you in engage them but that's as far as it goes. Nobody really gives a damn about what city in America you're from or how much better your city is compared to Portland. But in saying that I love the hell outta Portland so far.

[Nell Plotts]

Friendships in Portland are developed through common interests.

[danwilsonbsee]

Originally Posted by rass33

In terms of making friends in Portland, you better come with a wife, a husband, a boyfriend a girlfriend or a bunch of kids that really love the hell outta you because making friends here for a transplant is almost nonexistent. The rain forces people to hide in there homes but also they really don't want anything to do with strangers. Some of my longest and most impactful conversations in Portland has been between me and the Pizza Hut delivery guys in SE. If you need to get your jollies off I hope you like strip clubs because most of the women on the East side are either single rough looking women with kids, already in relationships, filled with countless drama or basket cases. Some of the people here will say "hey" or "whats" up if you in engage them but that's as far as it goes. Nobody really gives a damn about what city in America you're from or how much better your city is compared to Portland. But in saying that I love the hell outta Portland so far.

Everyone likes me - you must be a boor.

[Deezus]

I already had good friends in Portland before I moved here over a decade ago(went to college in Oregon for four years before that), but I think most of the good friends I've had since I met through roommates or co-workers. I don't know how people usually make friends without these sort of built-in social networks, but I mean I sort of just met friends through other friends or people I worked with. You find a network or clique and sort of just latch on. I met a few friends through common interests like skiing and hiking, but most of those people as well I met from other friends I already knew or co-workers.

It's not really a place where you're going to meet people on the bus or in a bar and become good friends(though you might chat with an occasional friendly person when you see them again on the bus or at the bar), I think that's people just end up in certain cliquish situations not to be rude, but because people sort of bunker down for much of the year. Not everywhere, but there's just not the sort of really bold social moves that take place in more outgoing cities(though not to say that it can't happen, but it depends where you are).

The people who stay here, tend to sort of slow down there lives the longer they live here. There's a lot of young transplants on the other hand who come here and end up socializing with a fairly transient crowd and end up with a group of friends pretty quick who move on pretty quick--there's a revolving door of people moving here from one city and leaving to the next... A lot of the people I met in my twenties years ago here are all moved on from Portland at this point(gone back home or moved on to some bigger city), the ones that stayed in town all sort of settled down by now(early thirties)--and a lot of the ones that settled down were either from the region originally or married someone from the area.

[oldtintype]

Originally Posted by rass33

In terms of making friends in Portland, you better come with a wife, a husband, a boyfriend a girlfriend or a bunch of kids that really love the hell outta you because making friends here for a transplant is almost nonexistent. The rain forces people to hide in there homes but also they really don't want anything to do with strangers. Some of my longest and most impactful conversations in Portland has been between me and the Pizza Hut delivery guys in SE. If you need to get your jollies off I hope you like strip clubs because most of the women on the East side are either single rough looking women with kids, already in relationships, filled with countless drama or basket cases. Some of the people here will say "hey" or "whats" up if you in engage them but that's as far as it goes. Nobody really gives a damn about what city in America you're from or how much better your city is compared to Portland. But in saying that I love the hell outta Portland so far.

A lot of it depends on where you live. I've lived in multiple different Portland neighborhoods since moving here and it really depends on neighborhood culture. Seems strange but for example I had a really hard time when I lived in SE, but a really great time in NE (just the pockets of those areas I lived in). It's also helpful if you have a dog--made tons of friends that way. The whole "you can't make friends as a transplant" thing isn't totally accurate given the number of transplants here...but Portland isn't the kind of place where people just hang out and chat with random people on the street. You'll meet people in the process of doing things (dog park, book club, hiking group, neighborhood meetings, cafe if you become a regular, etc).

Also, for your assessment about women....you might want to visit some other areas. You're in outer SE, right? That's it's own special world.

[ByeByeLW]

Originally Posted by Nell Plotts

Friendships in Portland are developed through common interests.

This is what I'm looking for. Here in my area of Florida, so many friendships seem forced. If I don't have much in common with you, I probably don't want to be friendly. That attitude here can get you labeled as a very suspicious character lol.

[EnricoV]

Originally Posted by rass33

In terms of making friends in Portland, you better come with a wife, a husband, a boyfriend a girlfriend or a bunch of kids that really love the hell outta you because making friends here for a transplant is almost nonexistent. The rain forces people to hide in there homes but also they really don't want anything to do with strangers. Some of my longest and most impactful conversations in Portland has been between me and the Pizza Hut delivery guys in SE. If you need to get your jollies off I hope you like strip clubs because most of the women on the East side are either single rough looking women with kids, already in relationships, filled with countless drama or basket cases. Some of the people here will say "hey" or "whats" up if you in engage them but that's as far as it goes. Nobody really gives a damn about what city in America you're from or how much better your city is compared to Portland. But in saying that I love the hell outta Portland so far.

Have you done anything to get out and develop a social life? I mean, other than going to strip clubs and ordering pizza in?

Nell is right. Friendships are developed through interests. Volunteer for something, find a coffee shop or brew pub you like the vibe of and hang out and chat, join some kind of sport team, a church, or a book club. Attend something like a "Meet-Up" event for something you're interested in.

I mean, I have sympathy. I know it's tough. You can't exactly go up to people and say "I'm new in town" ... they're going to look askance at that kind of a chat-up line. But then again, they're not going to know you're new in town unless you let them know. But whatever you do, they're not going to come to you.

[Minervah]

When I first moved to Portland several decades ago, there were way fewer options to meet people than there are today. It took awhile but I finally found my niche. Back then, there were few transplants and people were pretty settled in their groups and cliques. But I kept trying to find mine.

There were no meet-up events but there were groups I found that consisted of shared interests. That was a beginning then and it is today. If you have just one thing in common, like the thing that draws the interest in your being in the place you find yourself with others, that's a huge start. That's not something you will find in a bar or a place where people go to specifically hunt to be social. For me, those places are a huge turn off.

I met my future friends at places where the things that brought everyone together were things that had nothing to do with meetups or socializing or the like as primary goals. Those included classes, volunteering at cat shows, science fiction clubs (because I was into that) book clubs, theater classes and like things. The pressure to socialize was off because socializing wasn't the sole purpose of those who were at those events.

I made the best friends and had some nice relationships from these activities. Many of these friendships have lasted to this day. My advice to newcomers is to just do what you like to do and the rest will fall into place.

[waterwagen]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.

With the smog pretty much gone for the last couple of months, we're enjoying Salt Lake again, but I think we're going to try and visit Portland anyway sometime this year. Still undecided if Salt Lake is our long term destination.

Our best opportunity to visit will be in May - how's the weather then? Well it still be in the rainy period? I'd like to experience it during typical weather.

[SusVelo]

In the same boat as you waterwagen, SLC has been amazing the last few months imo. That said we love hitting the Oregon coast, and would love to be closer.