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I moved to SE from SW Portland several years ago. I lived in the Gabriel Park area and now live in Sellwood. When I lived in SW, I was in my 30s and made several very close friends. It happened easily and I found everyone over there to be very open, warm, and friendly. I'm from the southern US so I'm kinda used to that anyway. I'm not annoyingly friendly but I would say approachable and have a good sense of humor and am not afraid to start up a conversation first. I have never had problems making friends in my life. I was a flight attendant for years and was used to being able to connect with people pretty easily. I also lived in a few different cities and never had problems in those places (California, Illinois, and Florida).
I moved over to the Sellwood about 10 years ago and although I have a few friends over here, they were hard to come by...and two out of the three interestingly were born and raised in SW Portland area near the zoo and OHSU. The other is from NY.
At block parties and play groups with parents, I feel out of place and the response to my open, friendly approach is met with turned up noses and often few words. I would not describe it as shyness but arrogance. I mentioned to some moms in a playgroup that I discovered that Albertsons has the best bubbles for kids (the cheap bottles you can buy everywhere. ..but for some reason, Albertson's bubble brand makes freakishly large, strong bubbles). I mentioned it kind of light-heartedly while someone was blowing bubbles for the kids....and they just looked at me with no response and not one word like "what the hell are you talking about?". Was it because they thought I shopped at Albertsons and it's an evil chain? Good lord! It happens to me all the time. I actually do support the local businesses but I just happened to be in the store on a road trip to the Oregon coast. (See how I'm grasping for reasons?!)
Another example was that my daughter found a barbie doll that had been left as a give-away and she doesn't really like barbies, so my teen son and I created a little sign for her to hold asking for a new home and put her outside. It was actually pretty funny and cute. Just something we did to put on facebook and the neighbors didn't think it was funny at all. No sense of humor about it They didn't say anything really but the response was the usual cold, nothing to say response.
Probably a lack of sense of humor and arrogance is what I have run into the most. I feel like I'm in middle school all over again and surrounded by cliques.
I hate to say it but the only people I find easy to connect to and talk to are non-native Oregonians and those from SW. WTH?
Now...I LOVE SE and I find people who run businesses here are very friendly, thank god. But generally speaking, my struggle to make any close connections here as been baffling to me. I hang in there because I do love the lifestyle and thankfully my three close friends I do have here are enough for me.
I'm just honestly curious if anyone else has run into this. I have actually heard this about NE portland too.
And...I have to also say that I LOVE Oregon. I want to love all the people here too but it's a challenge sometimes.
Hi there! IMO, it's an inner East side thing. I live in the inner NE and I find the same to be true. I had a terrible time when I first moved here but I just ignore the "momzies" and their policies on the playground. It's like middle school for sure.. Hang in there.
It sounds like they are all hateful mean girls or something. Dont care, it'll drive them nuts. My daughter just moved to sw and likes it. She said that the more she hears about se the more she is glad she moved to sw. She is hispanic and mentioned it people were nicer to her in sw then they would be in se. That's the only info I have on it... good luck!
She is hispanic and mentioned it people were nicer to her in sw then they would be in se. That's the only info I have on it... good luck!
SE has a large hispanic population in certain areas. I doubt that's true.
What IS true is that some of the inner east side areas are full of some fairly entitled people. Most of SW is more of a suburban feel and isn't as "cool" so there are more average people and people not really subscribing to a certain ideology.
I moved to SE from SW Portland several years ago. I lived in the Gabriel Park area and now live in Sellwood. When I lived in SW, I was in my 30s and made several very close friends. It happened easily and I found everyone over there to be very open, warm, and friendly. I'm from the southern US so I'm kinda used to that anyway. I'm not annoyingly friendly but I would say approachable and have a good sense of humor and am not afraid to start up a conversation first. I have never had problems making friends in my life. I was a flight attendant for years and was used to being able to connect with people pretty easily. I also lived in a few different cities and never had problems in those places (California, Illinois, and Florida).
I moved over to the Sellwood about 10 years ago and although I have a few friends over here, they were hard to come by...and two out of the three interestingly were born and raised in SW Portland area near the zoo and OHSU. The other is from NY.
At block parties and play groups with parents, I feel out of place and the response to my open, friendly approach is met with turned up noses and often few words. I would not describe it as shyness but arrogance. I mentioned to some moms in a playgroup that I discovered that Albertsons has the best bubbles for kids (the cheap bottles you can buy everywhere. ..but for some reason, Albertson's bubble brand makes freakishly large, strong bubbles). I mentioned it kind of light-heartedly while someone was blowing bubbles for the kids....and they just looked at me with no response and not one word like "what the hell are you talking about?". Was it because they thought I shopped at Albertsons and it's an evil chain? Good lord! It happens to me all the time. I actually do support the local businesses but I just happened to be in the store on a road trip to the Oregon coast. (See how I'm grasping for reasons?!)
Another example was that my daughter found a barbie doll that had been left as a give-away and she doesn't really like barbies, so my teen son and I created a little sign for her to hold asking for a new home and put her outside. It was actually pretty funny and cute. Just something we did to put on facebook and the neighbors didn't think it was funny at all. No sense of humor about it They didn't say anything really but the response was the usual cold, nothing to say response.
Probably a lack of sense of humor and arrogance is what I have run into the most. I feel like I'm in middle school all over again and surrounded by cliques.
I hate to say it but the only people I find easy to connect to and talk to are non-native Oregonians and those from SW. WTH?
Now...I LOVE SE and I find people who run businesses here are very friendly, thank god. But generally speaking, my struggle to make any close connections here as been baffling to me. I hang in there because I do love the lifestyle and thankfully my three close friends I do have here are enough for me.
I'm just honestly curious if anyone else has run into this. I have actually heard this about NE portland too.
And...I have to also say that I LOVE Oregon. I want to love all the people here too but it's a challenge sometimes.
Thanks for reading.
You act like Portland is some huge metropolis like NYC or LA where you could move from one area and be miles away from people you know, you can be across Portland in no time flat.
I lived there for about 3yrs, and while I found the drivers to be very courteous and people polite in the stores and on the surface friendly, the Portland Freeze is most certainly true.
But you could go from NE to SE to SW in a matter of minutes. In fact of all the places I have lived I found getting places to be fast and easy, due to how small it was.
Portland is more like a large town than a city, you act like you moved far away, so what if your neighbors aren't friendly, you already have established friendships in a place that you can drive to in 10 minutes.
You act like Portland is some huge metropolis like NYC or LA where you could move from one area and be miles away from people you know, you can be across Portland in no time flat.
I lived there for about 3yrs, and while I found the drivers to be very courteous and people polite in the stores and on the surface friendly, the Portland Freeze is most certainly true.
But you could go from NE to SE to SW in a matter of minutes. In fact of all the places I have lived I found getting places to be fast and easy, due to how small it was.
Portland is more like a large town than a city, you act like you moved far away, so what if your neighbors aren't friendly, you already have established friendships in a place that you can drive to in 10 minutes.
That is true, I have a friend that lives in Queens and I live in Jersey. I haven't seen her in over a year. In Portland I never had that happen. I lived downtown and was able to visit friends living anywhere in the metro very easily. Heck I use to meet up with a friend that leaved on the far end of Beaverton.
I love that about Portland is you can live in a non trendy area and still be able to hang out in those neighborhoods as much as you want.
OP, have you spoken with your 3 good friends about this to see if they experience the same thing? I'm curious if they've experienced it too, and what they attribute it to.
And for those of you who say the OP should just drive to see good friends, I think the point is that they were able to make lasting friendships with neighbors in SW, but that hasn't been the case in SE. At least, that's how I'm reading it.
That is true, I have a friend that lives in Queens and I live in Jersey. I haven't seen her in over a year. In Portland I never had that happen. I lived downtown and was able to visit friends living anywhere in the metro very easily. Heck I use to meet up with a friend that leaved on the far end of Beaverton.
I love that about Portland is you can live in a non trendy area and still be able to hang out in those neighborhoods as much as you want.
That's exactly what I was talking about.
Last placed I lived in Portland was in the NE off Sandy Blvd. I had friends in the NW section(23rd street), it took all of 10 minutes which included crossing the bridge, and going through downtown to get there.
With the possible exception of rush hour(which is still minor compared to other places), it takes no time at all to get from one side of Portland to the other.
Kind of ridiculous post, it's not like the OP is miles and miles away from the old neighborhood.
Portland had to the easiest and quickest place that I have ever lived in getting from point A to point B.
I've seen a number of comments over the years about people being stand-offish, arrogant, cliquey, hipsterish, etc., many noting that it's difficult to make friends here. I have to admit that I've experienced this too, but the area of town doesn't seem to be as important as how you engage people. The ways I used to meet people in other towns don't work so well here, so I've found new ones. What seems to work best in PDX - in any neighborhood - is meeting people with a shared interest. This means volunteering for a cause you believe in, joining an interesting MeetUp group, joining any type of club with outings, stuff like that. None of these are a golden ticket, but it means that some barriers have been knocked down before anyone even says a word.
What I'm curious about is what causes all the defensiveness in the first place. Is it because so many people are struggling to make ends meet? Is it because of all the circumstances that lead to homelessness? Is it because (as the Oregonian reported today) we have the fourth highest rate of prescription sedative use in the United States? If we believe everything we see in the news then the problem making friends in PDX is that so many of the people we encounter are poor, unemployed, highly medicated, and about to lose their home if they haven't already. Whether that's true or not a stranger's defensiveness may be a sign that they need a friend in their life, not that they don't want one. We just have to be sure listen to them more than we speak to them.
When I was in Portland I thought it was slightly easier to meet people than say, here in Minnesota. Most of the people I met were east coast transplants, though.
There are a lot of 30+ aging skateboarder / snowboarder type guys who are now web designers or whatever, and they seem pretty happy in Portland. Maybe if you're not that and are just a typical working stiff it's just a cold, gloomy and unfriendly place?
One of my best friends lives in Sellwood and his buddies were all super cool to me. Admittedly I was not hanging out with the soccer mom crowd. His wife is unfriendly and hates me, maybe you ran into her?
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. Hang in there.
