Compare Portland to MN and the East Coast. Is it passive-aggressive? (transfer, schools)

[whovian1977]

Originally Posted by SyraBrian

I stayed in Portland from late April through late July, and I hardly had a decent conversation the entire time.

Then I rode back east on Amtrak and met an older Portlander on the train and we talked for hours.

Interesting.

I usually find older people to be a bit easier to have pleasant conversations with.

Anyone else want to weigh in with their experiences of moving to the general Portland / surrounding area?

[oldtintype]

I moved here in 1999 from San Francisco. It really didn't seem that much different people wise. Since I've been here the area has changed a lot with transplants from all over the country, the largest batch seemingly California and New York. Wealth has increased in the inner city, other than that the people seem the same. In the city people talk less to strangers. In the suburbs more. But apart from when I spent time in Ireland and Louisiana, Portland people haven't seemed much different than anywhere else I've been around the county/world. It's not the south, but it's not a cold unfriendly place either.

[whovian1977]

Originally Posted by oldtintype

I moved here in 1999 from San Francisco. It really didn't seem that much different people wise. Since I've been here the area has changed a lot with transplants from all over the country, the largest batch seemingly California and New York. Wealth has increased in the inner city, other than that the people seem the same. In the city people talk less to strangers. In the suburbs more. But apart from when I spent time in Ireland and Louisiana, Portland people haven't seemed much different than anywhere else I've been around the county/world. It's not the south, but it's not a cold unfriendly place either.

Thanks! I've known some San Franciscans and found them to be delightful.

Could you expand on the Ireland comparison?

[AndyAMG]

Originally Posted by whovian1977

Hi all. My husband and I seriously need to get the heck out of Minnesota. We are almost set on Portland, but I keep encountering discussions of the passive-aggression problem in Portland.

Well there is your answer right off the bat.

We've already researched the PDX area at length, and much of it sounds great. The climate, the landscape, the politics . . . it all sounds good. I'm worried about this alleged passive-aggression though, as that is our number one reason for wanting to flee Minnesota.

If you move here it will be your number one reason for wanting to leave portland 2 years from now.

For brevity's sake, I will just say this: google "The Law of Jante," and read all you can on it. That is MN, to a "T." Not that either one of us is some great genius or renowned artist or whatever, but my god if you show an ounce of motivation, drive, or aptitude you might as well kiss your job goodbye because you're "rocking the boat." And friends? Forget about it.

Same here... That's not scandinavian though, that's Portland slacker culture. Having friends cuts into Minecraft or 4chan time.

We love the east coast and the east coast attitude, but it's too expensive for us and we figured we might as well make an effort to escape winter if we're going to move across the country. That being said, I can handle a bit of P-A nonsense as it will always be present on some level everywhere in the world, but here it's completely out of control.

It seems at odds to not like passive agressiveness but want to live on the east coast, I guess youre going for full on agressiveness? Escape winter, Enter eternal gloom and dampness. Just like anywhere else it depends on your neighborhood what kind of people you will meet. My neighborhood is unfriendly, my last Portland neighborhood was unfriendly, and my past Arizona neighborhood was unfriendly.. My only friendly neighborhood Minot, ND, so my experience with Scandinavian Jante culture was very positive. Being scandinavian probably also plays into it. I see it less of "we think we're superior to you and you are nothing" and more as "we care about nothing, no one, even ourselves" It's more like extreme apathy and indifference all rolled into one. I remeber they were giving away a new porsche in Finland for a radio contest, finns could either put their name in the drawing or opt to drop it on it's roof and destroy it. Something inconcievable to americans "Who would destroy a nice Porsche? you could take it and Sell it and give the proceedes to charity" Americans and the rest of the world cried out. Well, as you can guess 67% of people voted to drop it and after it hit the ground there was no cheer, no emotion, people just took a picture and walked away. They did sell it to the junk yard and donate to charity, but scandinavains dont really care about success they only care about.... well im not really sure what. The suicide rate is high in scandinavian coutries... So yeah...

We're not expecting utopia, we're not looking for a million BFFs. We are both very resourceful, self-sufficient, no-BS people who do our best to respect others but will defend our rights with no reservations. I have an old High School friend who now lives in Portland, and we have each other and the dog, and if that will be the extent of our social lives out there, that's fine.

Well, thats probably what would happen, well until you inevitably stopped talking... because.... of the reason?

Any input from transplants to the Portland area is very welcome, and input from those who hold equal despise for the BS of Minnesota who can compare it to Portland is especially appreciated.

Success and working hard are pretty meh in Portland. You're likely to hear somthing along the lines of "dude, I have to work like 6 hours today" "Damn man burning the midnight oil, I had to work 4 it was bad enough." "I know bro, I totally couldn't drink or smoke for 2 hours, was litterally dying" "Harsh, man."

Online games, manga, and internet trolling beer drinking in awkward social situations and old Subarus are king.

Moving up the corporate ladder, driving a nice car and owning a home, not so much.
Thanks!

You are welcome.

Ever thought about Denver? perhaps Austin?

[almostjay]

Originally Posted by SyraBrian

I stayed in Portland from late April through late July, and I hardly had a decent conversation the entire time.

Then I rode back east on Amtrak and met an older Portlander on the train and we talked for hours.

And the conclusion you are drawing from this limited experience is what, exactly?

I currently live in one of Portland's "hippest" neighborhoods (Mississippi Avenue). I just took my dog for a walk. No less than 3 separate groups of people stopped me so that they could pet her and ask questions about her breed. This happens just about every day.

Passive aggressiveness is not some something that can be easily perceived in people with whom you only have minimal contact. Your barista, or the random person walking down the street, has absolutely no incentive to act "passive aggressively" towards you. But sometimes, yes, your barista or the random person walking down the street can be an *******, and that's no different here than it is in any other city.

I am from NJ and have lived in an around NYC (the aggressive, rude capitol of the world) if you're looking for perspective. I always found that the only people in that area you needed to look out for were the transplants who felt the need to act like pricks BECAUSE they were in NY, or the really rich Wall St. types who are going to be *******s no matter where they live.

Worrying about things like this when evaluating a new city is a waste of time. There are people of all types literally everywhere, and you'll find who you're looking for. The relative proportion of certain types of people might be correlated to certain industries/interests, but your involvement in those things is all on you.

Can you tell I'm from the east coast by reading this?

[pdwpdx]

Pets certainly get plenty of love and attention in Portland. My guess is they were likely far more interested in your dog than in you. Had you been walking alone, it probably would have been a different scenario.

[Radio Flyer]

Originally Posted by pdwpdx

My guess is they were likely far more interested in your dog than in you.

pdwpdx isn't passive at all!

[harlowvart]

Can you spend a few weeks there to see if you like the vibe? It would be much more informative. I've found that a lot of places that look good on paper aren't really my cup of tea when I get there... and places that I didn't think I would like really click.

[oldtintype]

As for the comment "dude I have to work 6 hours today..." is that all of Portland? Portland consists solely of some 20 something slackers? It's so obnoxious to decide that maybe 20% of the population defines all of Portland.

[whovian1977]

Originally Posted by AndyAMG

Ever thought about Denver? perhaps Austin?

We have considered Austin. I would say after Portland, Seattle would be next on the list or perhaps international. I probably wouldn't go for Denver just because if we're going to make this effort and spend the money on a long-distance move, we'd rather escape the snow.

Would you like to make a case for Austin?