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Old 11-18-2010, 10:27 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,942,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Good lord Hopes, she got pregnant, which can bloody well happen to anybody, she didn't up and murder someone.

You want her supportive family to "make" her do all these things because that's what it's like to take care of a baby? You want to take a confused and probably scared young mom to be and belittle and terrify her? What is that going to accomplish? It's too late to turn back the clock.

Even if keeping the baby is not the right decision in your opinion, there's no need to advocate humiliating her into giving up the baby. A lot of adults have help from their families when they have a newborn. If the girl's family are willing to help her out, then be grateful she's not going to be out on the street and go harangue some other family who are not even trying to be responsible for their own daughter.
Okay! I went on a rant! I should delete that post too or this will go on and on! LOL I'm going to do that!

edited to add: It's too late to delete. I sent a message asking for it to be deleted.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:37 AM
 
13,339 posts, read 9,925,302 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Okay! I went on a rant! I should delete that post too or this will go on and on! LOL I'm going to do that!

edited to add: It's too late to delete. I sent a message asking for it to be deleted.
Ok, you're excused. But only if we can put you in the Parenting Forum equivalent of the Town Square and throw dirty diapers at you.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,629,973 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
Another option that has not been mentioned is home-birth. If the pregnant teen is low risk she could plan a home-birth which would cost, on average $2500 for all prenatals visits and delivery. If she has to transfer to a hospital during labor or delivery due to an emergency her insurance would have to pay (from what I understand) as it falls into an emergency services category rather then maternity category. Of course if the teen risked out of home-birth at some point during her pregnancy she would have to find another provider and then she would be responsible for paying all prenatal and delivery expenses with her new provider which could be quite costly.
O. . . M. . . G! This is the last option that a teen should look at. For one thing, in most states, you cannot get a nurse-midwife to do the prenatal care if you're planning a home delivery. CNMs in general do not do home deliveries b/c they can't get physician backup. You have to get a lay midwife for a home delivery. Many teen pregnacies are high risk. Teens are more prone to PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension), premature birth, low birthweight (both preemie and for dates), etc. These pregnancies should be handled by a CNM or an MD.

Teenage Pregnancy: Medical Risks and Realities
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:48 AM
 
14,400 posts, read 14,265,002 times
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Seriously, after reading some of the posts here that suggest that "insurance companies ought to be forced to pay for the pregnancy expenses" I just shake my head.

Its amazing how culture has changed in this country. I think we have gone from believing teenage pregnancy is a problem to thinking instead that the problem is an inability of a teen mother to get certain benefits. What a messed up country we have become. We've taken away virtually every disincentive that used to exist to becoming pregnant as a teenager and we wonder why we have so many teenage mothers.

No, private insurance shouldn't be forced to cover a pregnancy in this situation. The girl's family should be forced to pay--if she is determined to keep this baby. If they can't pay than get a civil judgment against them and let it sit on their credit forever. But, don't make the taxpayers suffer over something like this. Honestly, I am tired of all the excuses we make. I am tired of the fact that we let 15 and 16 year old girls call all the shots in this situation. Why should any of them place a baby for adoption or get an abortion? If some of you had your way, there'd be no end of benefits involved if teen mothers choose to keep their babies. Its just plain dumb.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:48 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,885,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
But that is encourating her. If they make it difficult for her to keep the baby, the would make the right decision. Saying "we will support you until you finish high school' is encouraging her. What you say is, "I love you too much to let you throw your life away."
I do not understand why you are so hell bent on this girl giving her child away. Having a child at a young age does not equate "throwing her life away." Not every set of parents wants their child to give away their grandchild. Teen parenthood is not easy, but not all teen parents are bad parents.

I know quite a few people who had kids as teens. I do not know a single one of them who wishes that child were not part of their life today.

Adoption is just one option. It's not the only acceptable option.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
You don't make it easier to make a bad decision. You don't look for healthcare options. You make her find healthcare or earn 15k over the next 9 months.
You are assuming that the parents thing adoption is a bad decision. Your opinion is not the be all and end all of this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Screw high school. If she failes 10th or 11th grade and gives up the baby, she'll be so much better off than graduating on time and having to raise a baby.

Do everything you can to show her what it's really like to be an adult---with a baby.
Why would she have to give up high school? She may have to graduate a year later but she can go back to school and finish after the baby is born. She can get a GED. You are looking at only one set of possibilities.

Different people are in different circumstances. I don't work. If my son got a girl pregnant I could help with a baby. Other people are not in a position to do that. Other people may not want to do that. But some would.

Your way is not the only way.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:51 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,885,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I agree!

But the OP indicates they are only willing to support her until she graduates from high school.

That's a big difference from your willingness to support your child/grandchild while your child continues her education after high school.
Plenty of people have only a high school education. College graduates frequently assume that all high school graduates are poverty stricken and unable to support themselves. It's just not true.

Plenty of people who support their families have a high school education and they are not ALL living in poverty.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:55 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,857,693 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markg91359 View Post
Why should any of them place a baby for adoption or get an abortion? If some of you had your way, there'd be no end of benefits involved if teen mothers choose to keep their babies. Its just plain dumb.

I agree and i think unless a teen girl can prove she can take care of this child alone she should have no say in it.
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Old 11-18-2010, 11:00 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,942,607 times
Reputation: 30715
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Ok, you're excused. But only if we can put you in the Parenting Forum equivalent of the Town Square and throw dirty diapers at you.
Oh, my! Not dirty diapers! Anything but dirty diapers!
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Old 11-18-2010, 11:00 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,885,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
I agree and i think unless a teen girl can prove she can take care of this child alone she should have no say in it.
So-let me get this straight. On one hand you think teens are young adults but on the other hand they should have absolutely no say in something that will affect them for the rest of their life. That is totally inconsistent thinking.
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Old 11-18-2010, 11:09 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 6,177,747 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
O. . . M. . . G! This is the last option that a teen should look at. For one thing, in most states, you cannot get a nurse-midwife to do the prenatal care if you're planning a home delivery. CNMs in general do not do home deliveries b/c they can't get physician backup. You have to get a lay midwife for a home delivery. Many teen pregnacies are high risk. Teens are more prone to PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension), premature birth, low birthweight (both preemie and for dates), etc. These pregnancies should be handled by a CNM or an MD.

Teenage Pregnancy: Medical Risks and Realities
You most certainly can find CNM's who attend home births in both the OP's home state as well as your home state. As long as the teen is low risk and stays low risk she can have a home birth. If she develops PIH or any other complications she would risk out of care just as any other high risk woman. Home Birth is safe option for low risk pregnancies and as far as I know being a teenager does not automatically in and of itself risk someone out of being able to have a homebirth.
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