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Old 11-18-2010, 07:45 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,853,663 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taboo2 View Post
Yes but if the income only covers rent and no other expenses than the girl would probably qualify for assistance.


The crazy rules in the south are surely there to make girls choose to have abortions or adopt their babies out.

Funny, I thought the south was against that sort of thing. Because it certainly doesn't seem easy for a pregnant teen out there.

The daughter is still underage.... and thus her parents income will play a factor until she is emancipated. I don't know why you are so hellbent on her getting public aide.
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Old 11-18-2010, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 6,916,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markg91359 View Post
You mention they are seriously considering adoption. Obviously, I do not know these people. Its my observation though, that those who place for adoption make their minds up early and commit themselves to an agency and a process. When I start hearing all kinds of questions about all the government freebies available, I pretty much accept the notion that is the direction the girl and her family are moving in.
They just found out about the pregnancy on Sunday night. Do you really think that they should have already made a decision about adoption within a few days? It's a serious decision - give it some time. Sheesh... They are trying to fully explore all their options to make an educated decision.
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Old 11-18-2010, 07:57 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,853,663 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
They just found out about the pregnancy on Sunday night. Do you really think that they should have already made a decision about adoption within a few days? It's a serious decision - give it some time. Sheesh... They are trying to fully explore all their options to make an educated decision.
To be honest yes they should. There is no reason a girl that age needs to be raising a child....none.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:01 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 10,497,186 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
They just found out about the pregnancy on Sunday night. Do you really think that they should have already made a decision about adoption within a few days? It's a serious decision - give it some time. Sheesh... They are trying to fully explore all their options to make an educated decision.
What a tough situation & I hope the family, over time, comes to a decision that is best for all.

Another option is opening up a credit card w/ no APR for 12-24 months & charging the prenatal visits, etc. I am not a fan of refin'g homes unless they could get a very low interest rate...
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:07 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,862,780 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
To be honest yes they should. There is no reason a girl that age needs to be raising a child....none.
Exactly. The 'educated decision' is that teenage minors should not raise babies. It's common sense.

It's a sad testament about our society that adotpion is viewed as the last choice in these situations.

I've heard of families that got angry when they heard a young adult put a child up for adoption. And people wonder why abortion is so high.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:14 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,862,780 times
Reputation: 30715
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive
They just found out about the pregnancy on Sunday night. Do you really think that they should have already made a decision about adoption within a few days? It's a serious decision - give it some time. Sheesh... They are trying to fully explore all their options to make an educated decision.
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
To be honest yes they should. There is no reason a girl that age needs to be raising a child....none.
Exactly. The 'educated decision' is that teenage minors should not raise babies. It's common sense.

It's a sad testament about our society that adotpion is viewed as the last choice in these situations.

I've heard of families that got angry when they heard a young adult put a child up for adoption. And people wonder why abortion is so high.

In this situation, an 'educated decision' is children shouldn't be raising children even if the grandparents are willing to help out financially.

Because the reality is that the grandparents will only be helping out financially in the short-term compared to how long it takes to raise a child.

They are setting their daughter up for a life of poverty by encouraging her to keep the baby.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:28 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,853,663 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Exactly. The 'educated decision' is that teenage minors should not raise babies. It's common sense.

It's a sad testament about our society that adotpion is viewed as the last choice in these situations.

I've heard of families that got angry when they heard a young adult put a child up for adoption. And people wonder why abortion is so high.

In this situation, an 'educated decision' is children shouldn't be raising children even if the grandparents are willing to help out financially.

Because the reality is that the grandparents will only be helping out financially in the short-term compared to how long it takes to raise a child.

They are setting their daughter up for a life of poverty by encouraging her to keep the baby.

What i find even nuttier is the fact you have to in many states use parental permission for abortion yet the decision to keep the child is still all in the teens hands....something there doesn't seem right.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 6,916,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
They are setting their daughter up for a life of poverty by encouraging her to keep the baby.
They are NOT encouraging her to keep the baby. Their first choice would actually be for her to get an abortion, but she says that is absolutely out of the question. In that case, they would rather see her choose adoption. But they can't make the decision for her. At the end of the day, she's the one who has to make the choice. And I guess I don't agree with you that it's a choice that the teen should make within a few days. Her world is still reeling right now and she doesn't understand all of the consequences yet. IF she decides to keep the baby, they will support her so she can finish high school, and yes, they will also want to find a way for the baby to have health insurance. But that is certainly not what they are 'encouraging'.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:37 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 6,173,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
They are NOT encouraging her to keep the baby. Their first choice would actually be for her to get an abortion, but she says that is absolutely out of the question. In that case, they would rather see her choose adoption. But they can't make the decision for her. At the end of the day, she's the one who has to make the choice. And I guess I don't agree with you that it's a choice that the teen should make within a few days. Her world is still reeling right now and she doesn't understand all of the consequences yet. IF she decides to keep the baby, they will support her so she can finish high school, and yes, they will also want to find a way for the baby to have health insurance. But that is certainly not what they are 'encouraging'.
I totally support your family member making the decision for herself. Her parents can encourage adoption but at the end of the day it is the teens decision. It's not a decision to be made lightly and it's understandable that it will take time before she decides what to do. Good for the parents for supporting her and helping her get her education if she does decide to keep the baby. Having a supportive family will make all of the difference in the world, no matter what she chooses to do in the end.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:46 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,862,780 times
Reputation: 30715
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
They are NOT encouraging her to keep the baby. Their first choice would actually be for her to get an abortion, but she says that is absolutely out of the question. In that case, they would rather see her choose adoption. But they can't make the decision for her. At the end of the day, she's the one who has to make the choice. And I guess I don't agree with you that it's a choice that the teen should make within a few days. Her world is still reeling right now and she doesn't understand all of the consequences yet. IF she decides to keep the baby, they will support her so she can finish high school, and yes, they will also want to find a way for the baby to have health insurance. But that is certainly not what they are 'encouraging'.
But that is encourating her. If they make it difficult for her to keep the baby, the would make the right decision. Saying "we will support you until you finish high school' is encouraging her. What you say is, "I love you too much to let you throw your life away."

You don't make it easier to make a bad decision. You don't look for healthcare options. You make her find healthcare or earn 15k over the next 9 months.

Make her clean her room, cook her own meals, do her own laundry, etc.

Better yet, make her clean the entire house regularly, cook meals for the entire family every night, and do the laundry for the entire family.

Start waking her up now every three hours in the middle of the night.

And make her get a job---a job that starts as soon as school is over and ends at 10pm----then wake her up every 3 hours after she goes to bed.

Screw high school. If she failes 10th or 11th grade and gives up the baby, she'll be so much better off than graduating on time and having to raise a baby.

Do everything you can to show her what it's really like to be an adult---with a baby.
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