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Old 11-18-2010, 08:47 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,861,992 times
Reputation: 1740

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
But that is encourating her. If they make it difficult for her to keep the baby, the would make the right decision. Saying "we will support you until you finish high school' is encouraging her. What you say is, "I love you too much to let you throw your life away."

You don't make it easier to make a bad decision. You don't look for healthcare options. If she wants to have a baby, you need to slap her with adult reality and make her find insurance for herself or earn 15k in the next 9 months to pay for it. Make her get a job, not a few hours per day, but a job that starts every day from when she gets out of school and doesn't end until 10pm.
But that is encourating her. If they make it difficult for her to keep the baby, the would make the right decision. Saying "we will support you until you finish high school' is encouraging her. What you say is, "I love you too much to let you throw your life away." You don't make it easier to make a bad decision. You don't look for healthcare options. You make her find healthcare or earn 15k over the next 9 months. Make her clean her room, cook her own meals, do her own laundry, etc. Better yet, make her clean the entire house regularly, cook meals for the entire family every night, and do the laundry for the entire family. Start waking her up now every three hours in the middle of the night. And make her get a job---a job that starts as soon as school is over and ends at 10pm----waking her up every 3 hours after she goes to bed. Screw school. If she failes 10th or 11th grade and gives up the baby, she'll be so much better off than graduating on time and having to raise a baby. Do everything you can to show her what it's really like to be an adult---with a baby.

*claps*
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:49 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,030,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
What i find even nuttier is the fact you have to in many states use parental permission for abortion yet the decision to keep the child is still all in the teens hands....something there doesn't seem right.
It's even nuttier that parents are too weak to influence their daughters to do the right thing for both children---the teenager and the unborn baby.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:51 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,861,992 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It's even nuttier that parents are too weak to influence their daughters to do the right thing for both children---the teenager and the unborn baby.
The problem is i think most parents are in just so much shock that they don't know what to do really.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:55 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 6,182,157 times
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Wow guys. The OP comes here looking for advice about insurance for a teen family member's pregnancy and you berate her because you think that the parents are encouraging her to keep the child. I don't recall the op asking for advice from strangers about what her family should do.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:59 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,030,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
The problem is i think most parents are in just so much shock that they don't know what to do really.
My children would not have even entertained the idea of keeping a baby when they were teens.

I wouldn't have even had to pressure them. They knew, and still know, what raising a baby means.

This OP 16 year old is in la la land. Somebody needs to bring her back to reality. She and the baby deserve so much more.
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:05 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 10,510,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
Wow guys. The OP comes here looking for advice about insurance for a teen family member's pregnancy and you berate her because you think that the parents are encouraging her to keep the child. I don't recall the op asking for advice from strangers about what her family should do.
There has been some very good info on this thread & some things I never knew about re: minors & insurance.
Thankfully, I was never in the position as a teenager & I can only hope that my sons are never in the position to be teenage dads. And even past that stage, not sure I will put them on a pedestal b/c they didn't get a girl preggers....
The burning at the stake posts are a shame & quite unnecessary. More than anything, stirring the pot for drama.
There was a thread some time back on food allergies that had some interesting info but was closed due to posters just creating controversy for the sake of it.
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:07 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 10,510,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I provided her with a lot of information about health insurance earlier in the thread. It's not looking good.


It's sad that some people dont' realize unsolicited advice is what happens when they post on a public internet forum.
But the OP has answered the questions, more than directly.
And there is a line b/w posting relevant info about adoption & then posting stupid comments to get a reaction.
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:17 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,806,355 times
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Some people on here have complimented my mothering skills. Even if you disagree with me, I think I have at least done a thing or 2 right because my sons are grown and successful and never had any problems beyond normal youth behavior.

I was a teen Mom. Not quite as young as this girl, but a teen nonetheless.

Just food for thought.
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:26 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,030,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
Some people on here have complimented my mothering skills. Even if you disagree with me, I think I have at least done a thing or 2 right because my sons are grown and successful and never had any problems beyond normal youth behavior.

I was a teen Mom. Not quite as young as this girl, but a teen nonetheless.

Just food for thought.
That has been in the back of my head. I have girlfriends who became teen mothers. Most ended up being okay. Some didn't do as well.

What bothers me is the OP's family isn't really interested in financially supporting the daugther and grandchild. Only until graduation. That's scary.

The people who I know who did well had families that helped way past high school----financially, babysitting, etc.

You bring good food for thought. We all do.
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:28 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,806,355 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
That has been in the back of my head. I have girlfriends who became teen mothers. Most ended up being okay. Some didn't do as well.

What bothers me is the OP's family isn't really interested in financially supporting the daugther and grandchild. Only until graduation. That's scary.
I was well aware of the odds being stacked against me/us. That is one of the main things that kept me going to kick the world in its collective butt

I think a lot of what is said in the first few days of finding out about a pregnancy can be thrown out. There is too much turmoil to be completely rational. Cooler heads usually prevail, it just takes some "sinking in" time.
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