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Old 03-01-2013, 07:51 AM
 
Location: Rogers, Arkansas
1,279 posts, read 4,757,884 times
Reputation: 1225

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Has anyone here used, or been, a surrogate? How did you find it? What sort of things did no-one tell you? What sort of things are especially important to discuss before starting the drugs? I am especially looking for experiences from people who did not go through an agency, but would love to hear all stories and suggestions- and yes, I have read websites on the subject but personal stories give a fuller picture.

I am considering being a gestational surrogate for a distant friend. My family is complete but I loved being pregnant and had uncomplicated pregnancies. I have always wanted to be a gestational surrogate but as I am 39 years old now, and had some trouble conceiving my first, agencies don't want me. This friend cannot carry a child and she and her husband had a bad experience with the foster-to-adopt system, so don't want to go down that route again. They live far enough away that I would not see them much after the child is born, and have the fund to pay for my medical care.
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Old 03-02-2013, 05:18 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,832,511 times
Reputation: 47912
if an agency won't take you i think i would carefully consider why they won't. it is admirable you want to help your friend but doing it without the protection of the legal issues offered through an agency is very risky. would you be the biological mother or just the carrier? Please research everything you possibly can to protect everybody involved. Also if I was looking for a surrogate I would not work with somebody with issues which preclude working with an agency.
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Old 03-02-2013, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Rogers, Arkansas
1,279 posts, read 4,757,884 times
Reputation: 1225
Just a gestational carrier, I wouldn't want to be a TS. We would of course still have a proper contract; I live in Arkansas where surrogacy is allowed and there are laws regarding the bio mom and dad being the legal parents. I am 1 months too old for most agencies... hardly a major issue.
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Old 04-08-2019, 10:21 AM
 
2 posts, read 1,822 times
Reputation: 10
A few years ago, I was a surrogate mother. But I worked through the agency. There is a lot of requirements for surrogate mothers, read all the information here. For example, in one of the clinics the following requirements:
Age between 21-39 years old
BMI between 18-32
Not currently on government financial support
Must have given birth to and be raising at least one child
Must provide OB/GYN records and a clearance letter
Uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries as documented by prenatal and delivery records
Non-smoker living in a non-smoking home
No history of criminal activity
No history of clinical mental illness
Surrogate and partner must agree to psychological testing
Must agree to a home check with all persons and pets currently residing in the home
Stable, responsible lifestyle
Financially sound

I advise you to complete a complete survey at first. If you are interested in detailed full information, you can write to me in private messages
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Old 04-09-2019, 08:30 AM
 
2 posts, read 1,822 times
Reputation: 10
I forgot to say that this requirements you can read in Feskov surrogacy agency site
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Old 11-11-2019, 07:24 AM
 
2 posts, read 3,054 times
Reputation: 10
Feskov's clinic (Feskov Human Reproduction Group) is really good, my friends found a surrogate mother there. It's great that they had the opportunity to see their baby's ultrasound - not just a medical report, but a videotape of how it goes, as if they were there. They were also present at the birth. A surrogate mother gave them a pretty girl!
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Old 11-11-2019, 07:44 AM
 
3,012 posts, read 2,204,256 times
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I have a friend who was both a surrogate herself (more than once) and is now an attorney specializing in surrogacy agreements in TX. The emotional toll is way more than you could envision, especially if there is a loss involved. The physical requirements are strict, both getting started and throughout the process. Your whole family would have to be on board. At 39, you may be ineligible.

I get the drive; I also sought to become a surrogate after my 2nd was born, but I didn't qualify (clotting risk). Heck, I recently looked into donating my uterus (as the first baby was born this year from a transplanted uterus), but it's so new that they don't accept live donors (due to risk to the donor).
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Old 02-14-2020, 11:23 AM
 
83 posts, read 65,761 times
Reputation: 41
I have no personal experiences, but you will find lots of info on fertilityfriends co uk
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