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Old 08-21-2008, 07:23 PM
 
3,191 posts, read 9,193,824 times
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May I suggest that you look at this site http://www.optionline.org/index.html (broken link)
You might be able to pinpoint some local resources.
I hope you can help this young girl. And that she will give adoption serious thought.
I am rather fond of it...I'm adopted
Good luck...and kudos for being a good friend
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:22 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,974 posts, read 34,003,453 times
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Just make sure that she does not make ANY decision on her own. She absolutely must get the guy who impregnated her involved with ANY decision she decides to make as it will affect the rest of his life as well as hers.

My suggestion would be for her to have an abortion. She needs to finish high school AND college before she thinks about having a child. A baby right now could ruin her life or at best case scenario, make her life extremely difficult and cause her to have tremendous problems and difficulty in completing her education.
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Old 08-22-2008, 12:45 AM
 
Location: NC's southern coastline
450 posts, read 2,324,323 times
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Best thing you can do is let her know you will be there for her, non-judgemental, and do anything you can to help her, first and foremost. Try to talk to her and see where she is with this- is she scared? Does she know what she WANTS to do? Is she sure, or is she uncertain? Find out what she feels she needs most. That's the way to help her.

I am ignoring a lot of this thread regarding adoption and just putting in my 2 cents.

I'm in favor of adoption, and against abortion because I love babies. I just value life so much, and feel a fetus is a life and there WILL be someone to love and raise him/her when s/he's born. So many people are on waiting lists for adoption. And I know so many people who considered abortion, decided on adoption, and ended up finding the help and support they needed to keep their baby and they don't regret it, even though they did not want a baby. I speak from the heart of a friend of mine. She was pregnant at 15 and ended up keeping her baby and everything, though difficult, worked out and she is now in her 30s with a teenager and they are so close. So I hope it doesn't sound judgemental or too opinionated just because I favor trying to keep a baby OR place it for adoption instead of abortion. I'm speaking more from the heart.
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Old 08-22-2008, 04:05 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
603 posts, read 2,342,395 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dahlila View Post
This afternoon my boyfriend let it slip that a friend of ours is pregnant..

and i'm freaking out. The mother is in high school around 16, the father 18, and i'm not the most educated person on how to help her. The father isn't in the picture so now i'm trying to scrape up every bit of information i can to help her. I would very, very,VERY much appreciate anyone's ideas on how i could help her and the best way to go about it. So far i only have information on our local crisis pregnancy centers, planned parenthoods, and other women care centers. If anyone could help me find information on all of her possible options i would be very grateful. Information on parenting, assistance, various kinds of adoptions, and of course..if she so chooses, abortion.

Anyone have ANY useful information for such trying times?
I don't know where she lives, but the school districts that I have worked in have programs available for pregnant teens so that they can complete their schooling and get free daycare for their child. Her school district could provide that information.
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Old 08-22-2008, 08:49 AM
 
Location: beautiful NC mountains!
904 posts, read 2,877,187 times
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To the OP. I am sure your friend needs all the love and support that you can give her right now. I am sure she is scared to death. Please do not let anyone scare you on the adoption issue. My best friend was adopted. She is one of the most wonderful, perfectly happy, people I know. Not all adoptions end up badly. I think your friend needs the love and support of all of those around her and access to good medical care and information on all of her options.
I am the parent of a 16 yr old girl. If she were pregnant I would hope that she would come to me for help. I have told her that, although I would be sad and disappointed, that I would still love her and do my best to help her make the right decision. I think most parents feel that way. I hope and pray that your friend will tell her parents before to much longer. The love a parent feels for their child is like no other.
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Old 08-22-2008, 08:09 PM
LML
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,100 posts, read 9,124,362 times
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One of my granddaughters joined our family through adoption and my niece joined our family through adoption. Both are now grown women who are married and very happy. Words can not express how much these women have been loved all their lives or how very important they are to our family. They were both raised by two very loving parents and loving extended family. Both graduated college and have very happy marriages. Don't let anyone tell you or your friend that adoptions are horror stories. There may be a few of those kind but most are a result of loving people who CHOOSE to be parents and take the responsibility very seriously indeed.
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Old 08-22-2008, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Hudson, OH
681 posts, read 2,363,523 times
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To the OP: your friend is really lucky to have a supportive friend like you. I think you should be there to listen to her and to help guide her if she starts to avoid the issue (this can happen). She may not be ready for the pregnancy and you'd be a good friend to prevent her from procrastinating care for herself. Keep tabs on how she's doing and even help her find a physician if she's nervous or hesitant. Anyhow, the bottom line is just be there for her and let her know you care.
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:23 PM
 
4 posts, read 10,016 times
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Both are now grown women who are married and very happy. Words can not express how much these women have been loved all their lives or how very important they are to our family. They were both raised by two very loving parents and loving extended family. Both graduated college and have very happy marriages.


I just wanted to note, that this also applies to my life. Nothing about how I was raised, or who was in my life is a reflection of my views on "adoption." Great parents after an adoption aren't a reflection of the industry, they are a reflection of great parents.
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:49 PM
 
8,725 posts, read 7,435,334 times
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Have her get an abortion or give the kid up for adoption, last thing society needs is yet another "teen single mother" raising yet another potential future criminal.

Plus I am rather tired of my tax dollars going to support people like her, wic anyone?
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Old 08-23-2008, 02:37 PM
 
60 posts, read 205,351 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k350 View Post
Have her get an abortion or give the kid up for adoption, last thing society needs is yet another "teen single mother" raising yet another potential future criminal.

Plus I am rather tired of my tax dollars going to support people like her, wic anyone?

oh, god forbid anyone teach the young mother some living and mothering skills.

lets just throw her baby out into the world of babies for sale, and everything will be fine.

so ignorant.

how many first mothers do you know? how many of them just "get over" the loss of their child?

and also, how many of those babies "get over" the loss of mother?

you people are cold.
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